TV-PGJanuary 30, 2002: Now that Apple's desktops are all up to speed, what's up with the PowerBook? Meanwhile, that 36,000-iBook deal with the state of Maine may not materialize after all, and reportedly Windows XP does stubborn, nasty things when it goes too long with being "activated"...
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 
Pass Us The Stomach Pump (1/30/02)
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Oh yeah, we're just swimmin' in powerful new Macs these days! For instance, there are those blazingly-fast Apollo-based Power Macs introduced a couple of days ago; we've been waiting for a gigahertz forever, and Apple was kind enough to give us two. On top of that, there's the G4 iMac that prematurely burst forth from the pregnant pages of Time Magazine earlier in the month. (Masters of the unsettling mental image, that's us.) Between those two powerhouses, we're hard-pressed to imagine any self-respecting Mac user possibly wanting anything else. Except, maybe, some way to carry it all.

Let's face it-- while there are some pretty capable wheelbarrows available out there, it's still kind of a drag to be pushing a Quicksilver and a monitor or two all over town. And don't even get us started about taking that rig on a plane, because wedging everything into those overhead compartments generally necessitates the use of a crowbar and a blowtorch, and it's altogether one serious pain in the kiester. People lugging iMacs are slightly better off, because those systems are a little less unwieldy and can be hoisted by their shiny metal necks; however, at 22 pounds, they're still pretty hefty, and unless you remember to switch hands occasionally, you might wind up with One Huge Bicep and then you have to deal with children laughing at you. Plus, whether you're toting a Power Mac or an iMac, you're probably going to keep tripping over your really long extension cord.

"Why not just get an Apple portable?" you ask. Because, smart guy, we accidentally drank a mixture of paint thinner and guava nectar, and now we're laboring under the chemically-induced delusion that anyone caught without a G4 running at 700 MHz or more will be fed to the giant Lizard People of Venus, okay? (Duh.) And since the iBook is Apple's last remaining product line still using a G3, and the current PowerBooks stop short at 667 MHz, well, right now our only options are a wheelbarrow, One Huge Bicep, or taking a one-way tour through the digestive tract of a scaly alien life form. (There's that "unsettling mental image" thing again.) But maybe within a couple of months that'll change.

It's only been a few months since the last PowerBook speed bump, and barely six weeks since Apple tossed a combo drive into the mix, so it might be a teensy bit early to be thinking about the next upgrade. But heck, Macworld Expo Tokyo is still a couple of months away, so a revision at that event isn't out of the question-- certainly that's what Mac OS Rumors thinks. According to MOSR, new PowerBooks boasting Apollo G4s running at 667 and a life-saving 800 MHz on a 133 MHz system bus (plus an ATI RADEON Mobility 7500 GPU) may indeed be prepping for an intro in the Land of the Rising Sun. In the meantime, we suppose we'll stick with the wheelbarrow plan to avoid the wrath of the Lizard People. Oh, and does anyone have the number for the Poison Control Center handy?

 
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A Not-So-Done Done Deal (1/30/02)
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Gee, why do we get the distinct impression that Apple may have been a premature with its "we sold 36,000 iBooks to the state of Maine, neener neener neener" victory dance at the Expo earlier this month? Maybe it's because faithful viewer Jay forwarded us a Sun Journal article about how the funds to pay for all those iBooks may instead be raided by the state legislature for other purposes. Sounds like Apple might soon be learning a little lesson about getting cash up front. (By the way, did anyone else notice that Steve cribbed our "One Down, Forty-Nine To Go" slogan and threw it into his keynote address a month later? We should be probably be incensed, but we're pretty tired right now, so we've decided to be flattered instead.)

See, apparently there are a whole lot of people who feel that the money set aside for Governor King's pet project to give iBooks to every junior high school student in the state might actually be better spent on "social services such as domestic violence treatment and funding for nursing homes." Faithful viewer William Bonde pointed out one lobby that's particularly vicious in fighting the deal, citing occasionally ludicrous complaints about the iBooks in Henrico County ("Parents feel completely left out"? Geez, folks, pick up a mouse!) in hopes of drumming up further opposition to the mass iBook purchase. For what it's worth, if the plan gets nixed, the governor will go down swinging; he's apparently fighting like mad to keep the initiative alive, saying that to back out now would be "incredibly short-sighted" and "a historic mistake."

Now, if we here at AtAT were given a choice between 1) being fed and medicated (but Macless), or 2) being hungry and deathly ill but having a kickin' new iBook to play with, we'd choose the iBook every time-- but we've been told that we may, in fact, be "not at all normal." And even we aren't about to say that letting a seventh-grader wirelessly tune in to AtAT during third period should take precedence over Grandma's heart pills. At the same time, there's something to be said for King's argument that the long-term benefits of investing in education are crucial to Maine's future prosperity, and shouldn't be derailed for "one year's worth of programs scattered throughout the budget." It's not a pleasant quandary.

Luckily for us, we don't actually live in the great state of Maine, so we don't have to hurt our brains trying to decide who gets the money. Those of you who do just happen to be Maine residents, however, don't get off quite so easily. If you come to any epiphanic conclusions about where the money should go, you might consider contacting your elected state officials and letting them know what you think about the iBook deal. Meanwhile, Fred Anderson may want to rework his quarterly revenue projections slightly, just in case...

 
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Their Way Or No Way At All (1/30/02)
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Nothing cleanses the head of those darn "serious thoughts" like taking unrepentant joy in the fact that we, as Mac users, choose not to expose ourselves voluntarily to the various hazards and indignities of Windows use. In that spirit, we're happy to pass along a recent Fred Langa article over at Information Week, as pointed out to us by faithful viewer Eric. Are you having a rough time struggling with Mac OS X's various "quirks"? Then console yourself with the knowledge that, even if you forget to register it with Apple, at least you'll still be able to boot your Mac after a month.

You probably already know that one of Windows XP's "features" is mandatory product activation; every user needs to stand up and be counted. Microsoft enters some facts about each customer and his/her computer setup in some mammoth database, and gives said customer a big honkin' key that, when entered, "activates" the operating system. If Windows (or whatever other Microsoft product is being used) is not activated within a certain time frame or number of uses, it goes into "reduced functionality" mode. It's rather draconian as anti-piracy measures go, and like most things that Microsoft inflicts upon its users, it's caused a whole lot of grumbling, and then, eventually, acquiescence. (Monopoly? What monopoly?)

Here's the bit that you may not have known, though: apparently, when Windows XP remains unactivated past its due date, "it simply locks you out, period." Try to login, even with an admin account, and all you get is a message telling you that you still need to activate your product; your options are to proceed with the activation process, or, uh, go watch TV instead-- because you certainly aren't going to be using your computer for anything other than a big, ugly doorstop until you activate that sucker. Apparently XP puts your system into a stranglehold, and until you play by Microsoft's rules and activate it, you can't even access your files to copy them to another system so you can keep working. Nasty.

So the next time you're grousing about how Classic applications keep sticking windows right underneath your Dock, remember, it could be a lot worse. And somehow we have a feeling that, even if Mac OS X included some sort of activation lockout, at least it'd show you tasteful OpenGL-blended forest scenes or something while it informed you that you're boned...

 
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