Surprise! Reportedly, Sears isn't doing very well with its re-entry into the whole Apple reseller thing. When we read that at Think Secret, you could have knocked us over with a feather. We know, we know-- we've been hard on Sears in the past here at AtAT, given the sorry state of affairs at our local store, but given the marked improvement we witnessed during our last visit, we really thought things were 100% fixed and ready to rock. We'll explain in a minute.

First, the crisis: Think Secret's anonymous source claims that Sears decided to hop back on the Mac Reseller bandwagon because the chain "has been losing money left and right" in its computer departments. The iMac was a smash hit, and the iBook was virtually guaranteed to top the charts as well-- so what better way to prop up a sagging bottom line than by selling those hot commodities at price levels higher than any other reseller on the planet, including the Apple Store? Except, of course, there's one little problem: the average consumer seems strangely reluctant to pay a premium for the privilege of buying a computer from a store who couldn't keep a display model running if the fate of the world depended on it. And the higher price tag also appears unjustified when the salespeople in the average Sears computer department are most helpful when they're completely absent, which is unfortunately only about 80% of the time. As a result, sales of Apple's products haven't been the saving grace Sears had hoped for, and now the chain is considering scrapping computer sales completely.

Now, longtime AtAT viewers are fully aware that our particular Sears store is (we hope) even worse than most. When last we checked in, the iMac was represented by a lone Bondi Blue model buried way at the end of the aisle, invisible to passersby. This poor forsaken iMac was always either 1) sitting idle in the Finder with no demo software to run, 2) crashed, or 3) completely off. After the iBook had shipped, the iBook's presence at this store consisted of a (usually empty) pamphlet dispenser sitting next to a Compaq laptop, under a huge sign telling everyone to buy Pentium processors. No wonder Sears is having trouble selling computers.

Today, though, we revisited the store expecting the worst, only to find that things have improved completely. The Bondi Blue iMac that was completely obscured from view has been replaced by a Blueberry iMac DV that's completely obscured from view. It was displaying the Finder, so we launched iMovie just to put something interesting on the screen, on the off-chance that someone looking for a down comforter would get lost and wander by. The iBook pamphlet dispenser is now hidden behind three laptops: the Compaq, another anonymous Wintel notebook, and a huge hulking black thing that looked like a laptop for Godzilla. Upon closer inspection, however, the Monster Notebook turned out to be a wood-and-lucite display case, and buried inside was a real, honest-to-goodness iBook. Of course, you could barely see that it was an iBook, since everything but the LCD panel and the keyboard area was covered with black-painted wood, but hey, why would anyone want to see what an iBook looks like? Obviously no one would buy an iBook because it's a marvel of industrial design, right? Anyway, the iBook was off, couldn't be powered on, and the J key was missing from its keyboard-- but it was there, in all of its can't-see-it, can't-try-it-out, what-the-hell-is-this-big-black-thing glory. And with an improvement as great as that, how is it that Sears still can't seem to sell enough computers? It's a mystery for the ages.

The quality of stardom is a funny thing. Sometimes it's obvious and loud; some stars you can recognize as stars when they first appear on the scene. Steve Jobs, for example, has been stealing scenes with his unique mercurial quality since long before he joined the AtAT cast. The iMac is another good example; ever since the public got its first peek at the Translucent Wonder, the press went wild and the iMac was skyrocketed to stardom months before it even made any in-store appearances.

But other times stardom is much subtler, and a cast member slowly blossoms and asserts itself as a certain special something. Take AAPL. Apple's stock has been around for years and years-- long before AtAT, and when it first joined our cast we didn't give it much screen time. After all, what's dramatic and entertaining about high finance, unless maybe it's intertwined with a steamy affair, a Russian count with amnesia, and a murder conspiracy between long-lost twins? But over time, AAPL's story evolved into a gripping sub-plot all on its own, growing from a low of under $13 a share a couple of years ago to a recent high of over $97. And slowly, the critics on Wall Street began to take notice, and rewarded AAPL with favorable write-ups known as "upgrades." Oh, sure, there's been the occasional bad review, but overall, AAPL is a hit with the critics.

In fact, the latest positive review is in; investment bank ABN AMRO has just started to follow AAPL's career, according to a MacWEEK article. (The article lists ABN AMRO as "Chicago-based," but faithful viewer Joost van de Griek says it's a Dutch bank.) And that coverage has started with a bang: a rating of "outperform" and a one-year target price of $115 per share. Analyst Jonathan Ross called Apple's shares "cheap" compared to those of its competitors (please-- we prefer the term "value-priced") and stated that "no PC maker is better positioned with consumers to take advantage of large opportunities in the emerging device and home networking markets." Bravo, AAPL! Take another bow...

Wow, we got a lot of feedback on our off-the-cuff suggestion that Steve Jobs run for President. The vast majority of that mail violently opposed any such undertaking, on the grounds that it would leave Apple high and dry. But think, people: Steve managed to run Apple without ever giving up his CEO post at Pixar. We're quite certain that he'd never take the permanent President position in the White House; the most we'd ever hope for is for him to become the "interim" Commander-in-Chief for four years. (Does the Constitution have a provision for an iCinC?)

Regardless, we still think Steve could get elected in a landslide if he were to devote any resources to a campaign. Remember, this is the man who managed to announce a strategic partnership with Microsoft to an auditorium full of Mac fanatics without being lynched on the spot-- such is the supreme power of the Reality Distortion Field. And armed thusly, we bet Steve would have pulled off a campaign visit to Microsoft a lot more effectively than Democratic candidate Al "I'm Stiff, But Lovable" Gore. According to a New York Times article, Gore was met with a distinctively "icy" response when he addressed questions about the ongoing "Redmond Justice" case. It seems that the Veep condemned the "unfair use of market dominance in one sector to stifle innovation in another sector." Oops-- way to badmouth your audience's bread and butter, Al.

And he went further than that: "Yet another value that I think is important in our country is competition." Yes, Mr. Gore uttered the C-word in front of a Microsoft audience, and he meant it in a good way. Tsk, tsk. What's next, a trip to the Dairy Board to discuss how cheese makes him gassy? We don't pretend to know how Steve would have magically won over the voters at Microsoft, especially since Apple testified against Bill and Co. at the trial; all we know is that he could have pulled it off. Sorry, Al; when it comes to Reality Distortion Fields, you've either got it or you don't. But unless Steve chooses to run, it's nothing to worry about-- none of the other candidates have it, either.