TV-PGNovember 5, 1997: (Sorry—this was before we started writing intro text for each episode!)
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 
"Final" Word on Jobs CEO (11/5/97)
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Not that it came as much of a surprise, but the San Jose Mercury News is reporting that Steve Jobs has officially declined the CEO position, despite being the "unanimous choice" of the rest of the board of directors. Sources say that the decision was a tough one for Steve, for he's still "passionate" about Apple, his first love, and it's crying out for help... but their mad, happy affair was years ago, in another life, and he's married to Pixar now. The violins play and the organ music swells as Apple continues its everlasting search for a new front man.

Steve remains "interim CEO" until a suitable replacement is found, and he's hellbent on finding the right match, admitting that he had handed Apple "to a bozo" in the past and vowing that he wouldn't make the same mistake twice. So who would be the right match, according to Steve? It'll have to be somebody whose ideas and opinions very closely match his own, especially if he becomes chairman of the board, as the article suggests.

We think Steve would be happiest if Pixar and Apple teamed up to create a Max Headroom-like portable Turing machine (complete with an upload of Steve's consciousness) to be Apple CEO. "We have the technology..."

 
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Executive Friction? (11/5/97)
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Meanwhile, life goes on in Cupertino... Apple's executive board met today, ostensibly to discuss the issues surrounding next Monday's big brouhaha. However, all is not bliss-- Mac OS Rumors wonders about the significance of every board member appearing to be happy, except for Steve. Is he unable to secure the board's blessing for something he's planned for the big day?

By all accounts, the announcements that will be made next Monday will shape the future of Apple, and those of us who use its computers. Unfortunately, nobody knows what those announcements will be-- and those that do know aren't talking. Rumors are flying, though. One of the most frequently-seen (and most tame) suggests that Apple will announce its new online build-to-order web storefront, to be run with WebObjects technology. Indeed, Webintosh readers pointed out that you can connect to <http://store.apple.com/>, indicating that a server's running at that address, though no default page has been defined.

For some less-tame rumors, check out the list posted over at thessaSOURCE. Among our favorites: Rhapsody for Intel will contain a Blue Box to run Mac OS software; the Mac OS itself will be ported to Intel; and IBM will promote Rhapsody as the upgrade to its OS/2 operating system.

 
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AOL Anti-Spam Victory (11/5/97)
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Much as we dislike AOL, we have to applaud them for fighting spammer Over the Air Equipment, Inc. Last Friday, a federal court granted AOL a preliminary injunction against the spammers, according to a company press release.

OtAE was being pretty blatant about its practices-- not only did it refuse to remove AOL customers from their mailing lists when asked to do so, but they also forged email header information and even copied an AOL trademark to give people the idea that they had AOL's approval. So while this injunction is a nice first step, it's hard to say whether it sets any serious precedent for blocking all but the most flagrant offenders.

Ironically enough, version 4 of AOL's software shows you advertisements right in your new email window, effectively turning ALL of your mail-- including messages from your own friends and family-- into spam. (The Macintosh Conspiracy has a screen shot.) It's not quite as severe as their rumored original plan, though, which involved putting advertisements in the actual text of your mail. It's good to see Steve Case has a little shame.

 
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