TV-PGFebruary 16, 1999: The Disney takeover rumors just won't die-- this time, they've resurfaced with a Pixar-flavored twist. Meanwhile, IDG Expos bails on its plan to return the Macworld Expo to its home town of Boston, instead opting once again for the Big Apple, and rumors about future iMac case designs might be getting just slightly out of hand...
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 
Eye on the Mouse (2/16/99)
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You know, we were all sitting around the AtAT offices the other day discussing possible plot developments when someone raised the issue of Disney buyout rumors. While the "Mickey Mouse Takeover" is third on our list of most-overused plot devices (right behind alien abductions and the Columbus set-top box-- oh, the mileage we got out of that one), it's a long-standing classic and a favorite among Apple soap opera connoisseurs. After all, it's got all the necessary elements for a melodramatic tour de force: board room intrigue, enough cold hard cash to make Tex-Averyesque dollar signs pop into anyone's eyes with a satisfying "ka-ching," and a sinister round-eared cartoon rodent pulling all the strings. Mix in the mercurial Mr. Jobs and his inscrutable agenda, add a dash of speculation about the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney and the rumor that his favorite iMac color is Strawberry, and voilà! A soap opera subplot that's guaranteed to deliver days of material.

So, masters of subtlety that we are (stop laughing), we had been trying to concoct a suitably artful way of slipping the old Disney buyout plot into the mix without generating too much "you guys are really out of ideas" feedback-- when suddenly we were the beneficiaries of a virtual windfall. None other than Apple Insider broached the subject for us, reporting that sources were claiming that a Disney takeover of both Pixar and Apple was imminent. The basic premise here is that Steve Jobs was in the process of negotiating an extension of Pixar's five-film deal with Disney when he floated the idea of an outright buyout of Pixar-- and then decided to throw Apple into the bargain as well. Disney CEO Michael Eisner was reportedly receptive to this idea, and the plan was to make Pixar and Apple "independent divisions within Disney," with Jobs being CEO of Disney itself. To fan the flames of speculation, Apple Recon (the Home of the Disney Takeover Rumor™) first posted a notice amounting to the age-old classic "no comment" until after the markets closed.

Of course, as soon as trading stopped, Recon went public with their feelings that the Apple Insider rumor was "a joke," noting not just that the motives behind such a mega-merger were absurd, but the sheer logistics of the deal were well-nigh impossible. Given that Apple's stock barely budged after the rumors broke, Recon's assertion that no one on Wall Street could possibly take such a thing seriously seems correct. And apparently Apple Insider has been receiving ridicule on several fronts about this, since the disclaimer about the rumor being "only a rumor" seems to keep getting longer. Oh, well-- we guess a plot twist that cool couldn't hold up under scrutiny. But Uncle Steve's keynote address at Macworld Expo Tokyo is in less than twenty-four hours-- suppose he'll walk out onstage in Mickey ears to drop a bombshell? To dream the impossible dream...

 
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AtAT Road Trip II (2/16/99)
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Yes, it's official-- for those of you who were looking forward to spending a delightful week admiring Boston's award-winning construction scenes ("Oooo, the Big Dig™! Hey Marge, get a photo of that crane!") during this summer's Macworld Expo, it's time to rethink those plans. IDG Expos has confirmed rumors that surfaced last week which claimed that the Expo will be held once again in New York City instead of returning to its hometown digs. Here at AtAT we are, shall we say, "disappointed" with this turn of events.

Robert Morgan's latest RFI Report does a little Dance of Joy about the move back to the Big Apple, noting how beneficial it is for Apple's future. He notes that New York is the "financial, media, cultural, and creative captial of the world," while Boston offers little more to an Expo crowd than "a lot of universities." Given that Apple's trying hard to capture the attention of the media and entertainment markets while also staying as visible as possible to Wall Street, Morgan contends that New York is the natural choice for an east coast show. In addition, CNN and CNBC coverage of a New York Expo is very likely, while it's virtually guaranteed they wouldn't head all the way into Beantown for the story. And while we'll grudgingly admit that all of Morgan's stated reasons are more or less valid, we bet that his delight is due in no small part to simple, selfish personal preference. Not that there's anything wrong with that-- we felt the same way when we heard that the show was moving back to Boston this year.

In response, we can think of at least a dozen reasons why the Expo would be better off in Boston. Well, maybe a half-dozen. Or at least two or three. Okay, basically it all comes down to personal cost and convenience, are you happy now? So instead of sleeping in our own beds, eating our own food, and hopping on the subway each morning to attend the show, we'll have to pack up the AtATmobile, drive four hours there, pay obscene amounts of filthy lucre to park, pay even more for a hotel room, and then shell out still more for a week's worth of vegan food. Pity us. ;-) Yes, we're whining; no, we're not thinking about what's best for Apple; and no, it's really not that big a deal to us. Heck, it means we'll get to catch a Broadway show and hit a couple of great museums. So we suppose we'll see you in NYC this summer, if you can scrape together the dough.

 
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Zebra Stripes, Polka Dots (2/16/99)
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What's with all the goofy rumors about iMac case variations lately? We remember the good old days when a "wild rumor" about the iMac is that Apple was considering making them in several different colors. Is it because such a reality has come to pass that people are engaging in still wilder speculation about Apple's plans for next season's "iMac look?" Take, for example, Apple Insider's "Future Apple Hardware" report, which claims that not only will this summer's new iMac come in new colors, but it may also be available in "special effects resins," such as "Sparkle," "Pearlescent," "Stone Metallic," and "Glow." It's not beyond the realm of the possible, sure, but it's a stretch.

Then we get into the really unlikely stuff in Mac OS Rumors' "Wacko File." According to one of their sources, Apple is working on a "Chameleon iMac," which will automatically change its color based on its surrounding, blending in perfectly with any environment. While that might be a nice dream for Mac-savvy interior decorators-- those fruit flavors don't match many people's decor, we imagine-- the technology required for such a product would necessitate an iMac sticker price in the neighborhood of several hundred thousand dollars and the U.S. military would buy them all up anyway and stick them in a warehouse with the Lost Ark of the Covenant and Scully's harvested ova. Really. At this rate, before you know it we'll be hearing about hot pink faux-fur iMacs that levitate two inches off the desk and emit a fresh pine scent at appropriate intervals.

Don't get us wrong-- we think at least some of these ideas are very cool (mmmm... pine-fresh scent...), but we just don't see how Apple could possibly produce and sell so many iMac variations without raising the price or drowning in inventory. Which is why, as cool as chameleon iMacs and sparkle-cases might be, we're still pushing for the Mood iMac. It's a simple, elegant concept, it's probably relatively easy to implement, and it's only one more variation for Apple to market-- plus it appeals to that whole 70's-retro crowd, as well as the geeks who just want a kick-ass computer that changes color. We're still keeping our fingers crossed.

 
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