TV-PGApril 29, 1999: QuickTime 4 is here-- mostly-- but who's streaming? Meanwhile, the WWDC keynote looks to be a blast, but so far those of us without satellite dishes will have to wait for second-hand reports, and the iMac gets schmancy with a cover spot in the Neiman Marcus catalog...
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Turning Minds Off (4/29/99)
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Okay, so QuickTime 4 is out-- albeit in a "preview" version not yet deemed fit for an official, honest-to-goodness release. That doesn't mean it's not a whole lot of fun to play with, though. We've got a kickin' new MoviePlayer (er, we mean QuickTime Player), a new QuickTime 4-enhanced version of the Phantom Menace trailer, and-- finally-- the ability to stream live media right off the 'net. What more could a reasonable media junkie ask for?

To which question we respond, "how about something to watch?" Streaming QuickTime is all well and good, but unless people actually start serving up something for us to download, it's not doing anyone any favors. Sure, Apple's been streaming some video since day one for demo purposes, but look at what those selections were. There's Bloomberg News, which streams live financial news right to your browser. Well, excuse us, but we already resent the stations in our cable package taking up valuable channel space with boring financial data when we don't even get the Surgery Channel; the last thing we want is more financial data in our web browser as well. There's BBC World, which is a little better-- at least it's not as financially-centered-- but it's still news instead of the mind-numbing entertainment we need for our continued slack-jawed existence. Lastly, Apple posted something that looked really promising: QuickTime 4 of HBO. But it wasn't live streaming of the actual HBO cable channel, just streamed-on-demand video of a promo for some boxing match (when we first checked).

But now it's gotten better! The HBO page is still video-on-demand, but now it's footage of Dennis Miller reading us all a bedtime story about "Little Black Beret." And if that's not enough Dennis for you (and really, how could it be?), tune in Friday night at 11:30 EDT, QuickTime 4 in hand, for what will apparently be a complete and "live" broadcast of Dennis Miller Live. See, now that's entertainment. And if you're still trying to convince the neighbors that most TV is "just too lowbrow" for your cultured and refined tastes, don't worry-- Apple hasn't forgotten about you. They've also posted a live feed from Boston's own WGBH, so you can get your fill of browser-broadcast public television. Since we can flip on the TV and switch to WGBH "the old-fashioned way," we can confirm that the QuickTime 4 feed, while live, isn't the same as what's showing on the tube, but you still might get to watch Zoom if you're lucky. So the options are increasing-- but they're all being broadcast from Apple. Is anyone else going to take up the QuickTime 4 Streaming challenge?

 
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Satellite, Schmatellite (4/29/99)
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Speaking of QuickTime 4 Streaming (oh, we are just masters of segue), we've got a little bone to pick with Apple. See, the Computer Company Formerly Known As "Beleaguered" has just posted a press release describing the keynote address and satellite broadcast info for this year's Worldwide Developers Conference, commencing a week from Monday. (That's May 10th for the calendrically-challenged among you.) And while our busy little social calendar is already booked that day, we're sure millions of Apple fans would just love to catch the keynote address, featuring both Steve "The Man" Jobs and Avie "The other Man" Tevanian discussing Apple's "software road map" and giving "the first in-depth look at Mac OS X." And we're sure that of those millions of interested parties, only a tiny percentage are registered developers, and an even smaller percentage can pony up the $995 (or $1295 if you register after tomorrow) plus airfare and hotel bills to attend.

But since Mac OS X affects us all, and since technology brings us all wonderful ways to communicate while breaking down the boundaries of geography, we should be all set, right? Kindasorta. As usual, Apple has posted the satellite information for the keynote session, so those of you unlucky enough not to be attending but fortunate enough to have a satellite dish, you're golden. The rest of us, however, might just be out of luck, because Apple has inexplicably not posted any intention of webcasting the event via QuickTime 4. Which is absurd, since doing so would be a great way to demonstrate QuickTime 4's powerful live streaming capabilities. C'mon, guys, for two hours just pull the plug on Bloomberg News and jack into the WWDC satellite feed instead. Fans will dig it. Important industry types will sit up and take notice. Everyone will be happy.

There's still a week to go, so we still have a hard time believing that Apple won't webcast the event; it's just to obvious a move not to take, so we'll wait and see. By the way, those of you lucky enough (and solvent enough) to be attending the WWDC live and in person, take great pains not to miss Sinbad at the AppleMasters Session. We heard his Mac-centric comedy routine at last year's Macworld Expo in New York, and it was, as Ross Perot would so delicately put it, "pee-in-your-pants funny." (Personally, we'd classify it as "[expletive] funny" ourselves, but we don't want to endanger our TV-G rating. We also think that showing Ross Perot's head should automatically shoot any TV show into PG territory, as it's been scientifically shown to frighten small children, but that's a whole 'nother story.)

 
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The Finer Things In Life (4/29/99)
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Lastly, a quickie from longtime faithful viewer Zach Leber, who was kind enough to point us in the direction of Neiman Marcus' latest mail-order catalog. Who should be the cover model but our old friend the iMac? That's right, under the heading "oh boy, toys!" there rests a regal Grape iMac, next to a Microtek Slimscan USB scanner and an Epson Stylus Color inkjet printer (and a flower in a vase-- which fits perfectly, in our opinion). A Warholian print of four multicolored iMacs rests near the scanner, the scanned image is displayed on the iMac's screen, and the printer is halfway through generating a copy. Nice composition.

Opening the catalog reveals that the iMac bundle is the first item listed in the catalog. The iMac (in your choice of flavor), scanner, and printer are available for $1699. Sure, there are better prices available, but people don't shop at Neiman Marcus for the best prices; flipping through the rest of the slim catalog should prove that. If you're not familiar with the kind of stuff in this "toys" catalog, think Shaper Image crossed with Brookstone. Besides the iMac bundle, they're also offering a $1499 self-standing electronic putting green (with enhanced computerized voice and automatic scoring), a $475 radio-controlled yacht, and a $3000 go-cart that's decked out to resemble a '57 Chevy.

So while we think it's great that iMacs have found their way into yet another distribution channel, the fact that Neiman Marcus is selling them gives us pause. Sure, the iMac's design is slick and beautiful and it looks right at home in the pages of the Neiman Marcus catalog, but we're just a wee bit concerned that a supposedly "consumer-focused" computer is being touted next to (literally-- as in right next to) a $125,000 Winston Cup race car. That's not exactly exuding an image of affordability. On the other hand, if you take it as read that the iMac is low-priced for what you get, then it's nice to see it considered one of the finer things in life. But we're still glad to see iMacs make it into CostCo stores, too.

 
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