Sometimes it's tough being a fan of Apple technology, especially when the company falls on hard times; a shrinking budget for research and development has led to a lot of cancelled projects over the last few years, and some very cool technologies and services went the way of the dodo (assuming the dodo was, in fact, a largish handheld computer capable of handwriting recognition and Internet access). We wept when Newton was killed, we mourned the passing of lifetime free phone support, and we even wore black when OpenDoc finally got the axe. But few losses hit us more deeply than the passing of our beloved Claris Emailer, that splendid do-it-all email client that slices, dices, and makes Julienne fries. It was one of the first applications that could handle multiple email accounts with such ease, and as far as we know, it's still the only one that can access AOL email without relying on the AOL client software itself. (Yes, we still keep a couple of AOL emailer accounts active, primarily as a monument to times past and as a Living Spam Sculpture.) Emailer, to us, is what made the Mac the best email platform available.

Emailer was handed over to Apple when Claris became FileMaker Inc. and divested itself of all non-database-related products. Unfortunately, while Apple revamped ClarisWorks into the newly-cast AppleWorks, the other Claris products (including Emailer) were locked away with no official comment. The word on the street, though, was that Emailer was dead; several Apple employees were quoted saying as much. And so the world's Emailer fans continue to communicate using the same old versions, dreading the day when the next Mac OS update renders Emailer non-functional. It still mostly works under Mac OS 8.5.1-- thank heaven for small mercies.

But wait! What's this? A rumor in MacWEEK that Emailer is still alive and kicking? Sure, we've encountered rumors like that before-- the last one we heard around the water cooler was that Apple planned to incorporate Emailer-based email services into the Mac OS itself, though nothing's come of that so far. Still, this latest rumor is intriguing: some sources are reporting that Apple plans to merge Emailer into the next version of AppleWorks. That could make a strange kind of sense; after all, AppleWorks has a terminal-based communications module, so why not add true email capabilities as well? Heck, we'd buy AppleWorks for $99 just for Emailer alone, though we likely wouldn't have to; we bet upgrades from our existing ClarisWorks versions won't be quite that expensive. C'mon, Apple-- we know you're out there. Release a new, supported version of Emailer-- we don't care if it's part of AppleWorks, the Mac OS, or even Hypercard. We just want our Emailer.

Pssssst! Hey, buddy-- wanna hear a secret? Keep it under your hat, but-- we don't really like Windows very much. We know that probably comes as a shock, but give it a second to sink in and you'll probably be able to accept that fact. Some of us poor schmoes at AtAT have to use Windows on a daily basis in the "real" world, while others are blessed only to have to touch it once a month or so, but the opinion is unanimous: it's ugly as sin, clunky as an oversize pair of combat boots, and has an interface only a mother could love-- specifically, the visually-impaired mother of a sociopath with Tourette's Syndrome. But that's just our opinion.

Don't get us wrong, though-- it's not that we don't think Windows has its good points. Probably our favorite feature of Windows is its seemingly endless array of fascinating bugs. Don't forget, it's a Microsoft product-- the bugs go in before the name goes on™. Microsoft bugs are often not particularly dangerous (well, okay, there was that fun little issue with the Mac Office 98 uninstaller potentially deleting your System Folder), but pound for pound, we find them much more entertaining than bugs found in other companies' software. Take, for example, the Windows bug just reported in a CNET article: after exactly 49.7 days of continuous use, computers running Windows 95 or Windows 98 may suddenly crash.

It's true! At least, we assume it's true, since Microsoft has a web page decribing the problem. Apparently it's caused by a bug in the timing algorithm used in the "Vtdapi.vxd" file. (Yeah, we could've guessed that.) While this bug will probably affect only a few users, we still consider it one of the more entertaining bugs we've ever heard described. Perhaps it's the fact that the machines have to be running for exactly 49.7 days before the crash occurs, like 49.7 is some sort of magic number or something. Honestly, sometimes we think the software engineers in Redmond are coming up with these bugs on purpose, since they sound too bizarre to be accidental. Anyway, Microsoft's posted a fix for the problem, so all's right with the world. See? We do sort of like Windows-- provided we don't actually have to use it.

My, how the World Wide Web has changed. Remember the whole glorious idea of information deliverable and scalable to anyone on any computer, from a high-end Power Mac to a lowly DOS-based 286? The web drifted away from that ideal over the years, with special browser plug-ins only available for certain platforms, stuff like that. Not that we at AtAT are against the inevitable march of progress-- heck, our show isn't exactly forgiving to people running "non-standard" browsers on older machines-- but we've always liked the idea that the web should be accessible to anybody. Unfortunately, Intel's busy trying to hammer another nail in that concept's coffin.

According to a Fairfax IT article, Intel is currently in negotiations with several web content providers in Australia, in hopes of "persuading" them to make web sites that are only available to surfers with a Pentium III-based computer. The goal, apparently, is to have sites on the web that immediately try to load the infamous "Processor Serial Number" from the surfer's computer, and if one is not found, to bar access from the non-Pentium III machine. In the words of Angelo Lo Certo, Intel's Internet marketing manager for the Asia Pacific region, "The basic premise is that if you have a Pentium III-based PC your Internet experience will be greatly enhanced." And, of course, if you don't, then you're just plain screwed. We wonder what the Justice Department would have to say about this whole plan? And is it any wonder that Intel is pushing this "Pentium III-only" scheme in countries like Australia, outside of the DoJ's jurisdiction?

By the way, just so you know: the AtAT staff has no plans to make our show accessible only to PowerPC's, or anything like that. Our goal is for everything to work well in the Mac versions of Netscape Navigator 3 and higher, Internet Explorer 4 and higher, and any version of iCab, all without any special plug-ins. Meanwhile, we do what we can to make the show watchable for those tuning in from other platforms, but of course that's a lower production priority. Now, that's not to say that if someone were to (cough) "subsidize" our production, we wouldn't consider blocking access from Windows focusing all our efforts on providing the most enjoyable experience to our Mac-enabled viewers... Anyone know Steve Jobs' phone number?