So the day is finally upon us-- Big Steve's Seybold keynote address. And while the topic of what will be unveiled has generated more speculation than tulip bulbs in seventeenth century Holland, probably no one other than Steve really knows exactly what's in store. In fact, we have a sneaking suspicion that the iCEO about to deliver the speech is probably more relaxed about the event than anyone; we're guessing he's got some guidelines about what to say, but he figures he'll just wing it for the most part. (That's not based on any solid facts, but it appeals to our collective sense of irony and general coolness.)

Anyway, you've probably been reading all the rumors as rabidly as we have, but to recap, the overall consensus seems to be this: while the next-generation "Kihei" iMac is unlikely to take the stage, Jobs will unveil some form of Power Macintosh G4, either based on the new Sawtooth motherboard or possibly using a slightly modified Yosemite board while the elves in Cupertino squash the last of Sawtooth's bugs. The case is rumored to be very similar to the existing G3 boxes, sans the "G3" on the side and with some sort of smoky translucent grey replacing the Blueberry in hopes that a less "frivolous" enclosure will appeal to the more humorless businesses out there. And a new computer demands a new, matching display; keep an eye peeled for "Tonga," an enormous 20" flat-panel jobbie that runs at insanely high resolutions and connects to a new ATI graphics card via an all-digital interface-- just what the graphic artists ordered. In addition, prepare for more about Mac OS 9, a new version of ColorSync, an update on AppleScript (including support in Mac OS X), and probably at least a couple of surprises no one's predicted.

If, like us, you can't make it to the show, fear not-- that's what QuickTime 4 is for. Big Steve's speech will be webcast live in the best streaming video format on the planet, both from Apple's site and from the formerly RealVideo-only ZDTV. Just point your browser in the right direction at noon Eastern time, sit back, pop open a frosty beverage, and watch Steve's impish image stream right into your office/den/laundry room/whatever. And then, once and for all, we'll know who guessed right and who got taken in by the hooey. (We consider our wide-eyed selves to be particularly vulnerable to hooey, so we're anxiously awaiting the truth.)

But for those of you tuning in just after the big keynote, you're probably asking yourselves, "What now?" Sure, you're excited about how Steve surprised us all by skipping the G4 hype entirely and pre-announcing the Power Mac G5 available in 2002 and slated to ship in Herringbone and Tweed, but there's always that post-keynote depression that sets in once all the surprises have been revealed. It's kind of like Christmas: there are months of hype, and finally when all the presents have been opened, there's that lingering empty feeling that can only be filled by scarfing all of the cookies and engaging the rest of the family in drunken arguments of the "you're a lazy, shiftless bum/well I didn't ask to be born" variety.

Luckily, with Apple announcements, you don't have to wait another 364 days to get giddy with anticipation again. See, Apple's considerate enough to spread out its announcements and product introductions so you can spread your rabid tingly "What'll it be?" speculation over the entire course of the year; it's Christmas all year 'round when you're an Apple watcher. Just think: the iBook hasn't started shipping yet, and there's a new iMac just around the corner. At some point, Apple's going to have to address both of these issues, and it'll probably have to be sometime relatively soon.

What's that? You say your post-keynote-depressive self needs something more concrete than "relatively soon" or you'll go mad with vagueness and ennui? Well, okay-- how about rumors of a big Apple shindig on September 25th? A source who shall remain nameless wrote in to mention his financial analyst friend being invited to an "Apple Party" on that date, possibly to be held at Webster Hall. It's a party intended to promote "something," but whether it's to celebrate the iBook's availability or to start the media buzz for the next iMac is left as an exercise for the viewer. But whatever it is, it'll be big, if the rumors are true-- several AppleMasters will apparently be in attendance, and small town rock god John Cougar is said to be playing the gig. Holy Pink Houses, Batman! Disinformation? Sorry, that's up to you to decide...

Switching gears entirely, have you heard about this new lawsuit between StarPlay and GT Interactive? StarPlay is a company that makes games for Macs and PCs; we know about them because their '50s bowling simulation, Alley 19, is a real hoot-- it's one of the few games we keep installed on our main boot disk, and we've given away a few copies that were rattling around in our Baffling Vault of Antiquity™ Of course, StarPlay is relatively obscure when compared to entertainment giants GT Interactive, who put out a ton of "A-list" games on the PC side and incorporate MacSoft for Macintosh games that everyone's heard of. (At least, if you haven't heard of Unreal, Quake, and Duke Nukem 3D, then you're probably about as far removed from computer games as is humanly possible. Remember, all work and no play makes Jack type the same phrase over and over again.)

So here's the deal: according to a Business Wire release, StarPlay claims that GT actually pirated Alley 19. GT Value, the German branch, allegedly "knowingly and fraudulently obtained an unauthorized copy" of Alley 19, renamed the product, put together a "bogus agreement" to cover up the fact that they were not licensed to distribute the product, and then sold the repackaged game in Europe. Apparently StarPlay has plenty of hard evidence to support their claims, which prompted GT Value to agree not to sell the game any more. But that's not stopping StarPlay from seeking $5 million in punitive damages for what amounts to "blatant commercial software piracy"-- and by a software company, yet. Unbelievable.

If the allegations are true, it's pretty scummy behavior on GT's part. Our only plausible explanation is that they wanted to be more like Microsoft by selling other companies' products-- but no one told them Microsoft generally buys the companies first. Perhaps they just forgot. Details, Schmetails...