TV-PGSeptember 26, 1999: Step right up, we gotcher Kihei specs right here. Meanwhile, recent changes in government export regulations makes the G4 available to "sensitive" countries, but Apple still chooses not to sell them there, and the French army has a nit to pick with the iBook...
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 
Everything You Asked For (9/26/99)
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You know, by all accounts, the new "Kihei" iMac is still over a month away-- yet over the weekend, specifications for Apple's revamped consumer powerhouse spread like wildfire across the entire Mac-related webscape. Well, okay, maybe they're not everywhere, but they've popped up on enough high-traffic sites to prompt the Apple Anti-Leak Squad to reach for the Rolaids. In particular, the Mac Observer has a list of specifications from the same shadowy source who gave them startlingly accurate pre-release details about the iBook and the Power Mac G4, so we're very inclined to believe them. And in our minds, the fact that the specs are so similar to those just posted at Apple Insider (complete with line drawings of the Kihei) basically erases all doubt. (Then again, we're trusting souls.)

Some things about the new iMac aren't all that surprising, if you've been following the rumors diligently. Kihei sports a 400 MHz G3, 64 MB of RAM, a 10 GB hard drive, AGP-based graphics, built-in AirPort antennae, an improved sound system, and a couple of FireWire ports, as many people expected. Likewise, there are a few features that many of us dared hope for, while fully expecting to be disappointed-- but they made the cut: think trayless DVD-ROM, a 100 MHz system bus, ATI Rage 128 graphics (instead of Rage Pro or Mobility), and VGA video-out for folks who want to use external video devices. Then there are the true surprises (for us, anyway). Get this: according to the Mac Observer, the new iMac has no fan. While we're a smidge doubtful on that point, Steve Jobs's longtime dislike for fan noise is certainly a thing of Apple legend, so we'll have to adopt a "wait and see" attitude on that one.

The real surprise, though, is Apple's alleged plan to ship Kihei in three distinct versions. The iMac has always been the computer for regular shmoes who don't want to agonize over which model to get; "Which color?" has been the toughest question iMac owners have had to answer so far. But with Kihei, Apple is reportedly planning to offer "Good, Better, and Best" configurations. The "Better" model is the one described above, to be available in the five fruit flavors we all know and love, probably at the same $1199 price point. The "Good" model will cost a lot less (sub-$1000?), because it'll sport a slower 350 MHz processor, a trayless CD-ROM instead of DVD, no FireWire, and no color choice-- it's "Blueberry only" for the low-end crowd. Then the "Best" configuration is targeted at the high end of the consumer market; it's got everything the "Better" model does, except the RAM is doubled to 128 MB, the hard drive is upped to 13 GB, and the fruit flavors are shown the door. That's right, kiddies, the "Best" Kihei is said to come in none other than Graphite, the liquid grey of the new Power Mac G4. We sense that style-conscious iMac owners the world over are going to want to trade up...

Now we just hope that these rumors are true, and that Apple gets them out the door sooner rather than later. We've been hearing disturbing rumors that for the first time since its introduction in August of last year, the iMac has fallen out of the list of top five computers sold at retail. If that's true (and we expect it is, since we just can't believe that delayed G4s are solely responsible for Apple's recent earnings warning), then Kihei is just what Apple needs to juice those sales numbers again.


 
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Tanks For The Memories (9/26/99)
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So you're a big fan of Apple's new "Tanks" commercial for the Power Mac G4. And really, what's not to love? It's short, sweet, funny, and to the point-- the G4 is so powerful, it's the first personal computer ever classified by the government as a supercomputer, and therefore a weapon that can't be exported to certain "sensitive" countries-- no Pentium-based PC can claim that. Best of all, it's true. Right?

Well, sort of. This is advertising, after all; if you're expecting to get the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in a thirty-second TV commercial, you might want to take your "gullibility" settings down a notch or two. For instance, the G3 really was "up to twice as fast" as the Pentium II-- according to Bytemarks, which few people seem to take at all seriously. In reality, most testing labs that pitted the G3 against the PII discovered that the G3 was faster in some tests, slower in others, and perhaps a little bit faster overall. Similarly, Apple really can ship the G4 to Russia, given the U.S. government's relaxation of export controls last August. They simply choose not to.

Not that anyone could blame them, mind you. According to a CNET article pointed out by longtime faithful viewer Jerry O'Neil, just because recent changes to the export laws make it possible to ship G4s to India, China, etc., that doesn't make it practical. Apparently Apple would have to track every single G4 sold to "third-tier" countries, all the way down to the end-user level: the government would require that Apple be able to "identify who has purchased the product." Talk about an administrative nightmare. Sure, they could go by registration info, but what are the odds that Saddam Hussein actually fills out and sends in his registration cards? (We bet he doesn't pay his shareware fees, either.) So for all intents and purposes, the "Tanks" ad isn't kidding, and we can't fault Apple for stretching the truth a teeny bit.


 
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Comment Dit-On "Girly"? (9/26/99)
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In other military-related news, apparently now Apple's gone and ticked off the French army. (Wow, now there's a sentence we never thought we'd have to use...) But it's not the G4 that's got the French military's hackles up; it's the cuddly consumer portable known as the iBook. No, they're not complaining that Blueberry and Tangerine clash with their uniforms, nor are they worried about what effect the "girly" laptop might have when introduced into an environment as dead butch as the French army-- such concerns are for those far less secure in their masculinity (coughDvorakcough).

No, what's got the French riled up is AirPort. According to a Nando Media article, Apple's super-cool wireless networking architecture uses "the same 2.4 gigahertz waveband reserved by the French military." The implication is that an AirPort-equipped iBook could theoretically "scramble defense force communications"-- a crime carrying a $30,000 fine and a six-month stretch in "le clinc." So you should probably forget about that peer-to-peer AirPort Quake deathmatch with your significant other when you go on your dream tour of French military bases.

As you probably know, Apple's not the first to introduce technology that uses the 2.4 GHz band, and therefore French law does allow private citizens to apply for approval to use the wavelength. But Rear Admiral Jacques Bizard of the National Military Bureau for Frequency Use (wow, it's like those French have a different bureau for everything!) states that while there's usually "no reason to turn them down," that's because previous wireless installations were used for "local, fixed networks," whereas the iBook is "light and portable." Apple's not too concerned, though, since AirPort's range is only 150 feet; Apple France's marketing director, Hugues Asseman (possibly the name most ripe for obvious comedic parody we've yet encountered) states "there should be no problem unless you are in a room next door to a military headquarters." Well, we'll be sure to keep our eyes peeled for the first instance of a French AirPort-related jailing...


 
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