Well, as far as "personal reasons" go, we suppose a dumptruck of money is as good a motive as any. If you tuned in yesterday, you know that Apple Europe's general manager, Diego Piacentini, is resigning his post at the end of the quarter. Reports indicated that his decision to leave was due entirely to personal reasons, and had absolutely nothing to do with the recent slash-and-burn campaign that's made pink slips all the rage in Apple Europe these days. (Spin, spin.) Far be it from us to begrudge anyone a change of venues for personal reasons, but a departure coincident with Cupertino's apparent plan to reduce Apple Europe headcount by a significant level-- well, it seems a bit overly convenient, doesn't it?

It all comes clear, now; faithful viewer Drake Winters clued us in on the scoop posted over at AppleInsider. It appears that Diego managed to land himself an offer from Amazon.com. Given Amazon's role as King of the E-tailers, we imagine the offer was an attractive one. ("So, Mr. Piacentini... shall we dump the huge piles of cash on your front lawn, or would you prefer it in your driveway instead?") A further clue that Amazon really wants Diego on the team is the report that the company is including a "complete relocation of Piacentini and his family from Europe to Seattle" in the offer. Holy Expatriate, Batman! Guess that truckload of cash will have green dead presidents on it instead of brightly-colored images of royalty. Hopefully Diego specified higher denominations, because the enormous Andrew Jackson head on the new twenty has been proven to cause horrific nightmares in children and adults alike.

So, more power to Diego; if you're the general manager of a company division that's seeing massive layoffs from above and you get a generous offer from a dotcom megagiant rife with cash, heck, you take it. Good luck to Diego and his family on their new adventure, and here's hoping that Apple finds a suitable replacement to man the guns in Europe. It'd be a shame to see the recent sales growth over there give way to a management shake-up.

Are there certain words in your vocabulary that you just don't get to use very much anymore? Well, if you're a tech journalist, you're probably accumulating a nice thick layer of dust on "beleaguered" these days. Even the most fervent Apple critic would have to be strung out on PCP to call the company "beleaguered" after nine consecutive profitable quarters, a hit product line-up, a soaring stock price, and a hefty pile of cash in the bank. Oh, sure, occasionally you can take the word off the shelf, dust it off, and stick it in front of "Compaq," but it's just not the same. "Beleaguered" sort of belongs to Apple, even though it no longer fits. It's kind of like retiring an athlete's number.

But here's our proposal: let's use it for Dell instead. It's no secret to anybody that Mike Dell has a dangerously unhealthy fixation on becoming Steve Jobs; just look at the way he runs his company. There's the available-in-five-colors, "easy Internet" WebPC, trying to be the iMac. There's the available-in-two-colors, consumer-targeted Inspiron 3700 laptop trying to be the iBook. Heck, now Dell's even pushing an 11 Mb/sec wireless home networking system-- AirPort, anyone?

So given that Dell's trying so hard to be Apple, the "beleaguered" tag should fit just right. Especially given Dell's second earnings warning in a row; faithful viewer Russell Maggio steered us towards a Reuters article describing Dell's latest woes. Apparently "parts shortages" and "Year 2000 computer bug fears" led to a sales shortfall. But after Dell went public with the news, its stock dropped only slightly in extremely heavy trading-- and some analysts even upgraded the stock. Hmmm... okay, so maybe it'll be a little while before Dell is actually "beleaguered." But it's good to know that there's hope for that word yet...

Ready for the Super Bowl? Personally, we're not big football fans 'round here at the AtAT studios; when they give the players medieval melee weapons and force them to ingest hallucinogenic drugs as a matter of course, maybe we'll start tuning in. The Super Bowl's a bit different, though; ever since that historic 1984 ad aired during the big game, the Super Bowl's been a showcase of entertaining, innovative, and extra-expensive commercials, so even non-football fans tune in. And even though last year's HAL ad marked Apple's first Super Bowl commercial since 1985, Apple watchers may still feel a tenuous link between Apple and the big game. It's the lady with the hammer-- hooks 'em every time.

This year, though, unless somehow they're keeping the whole thing under wraps, Apple's chosen to pass up spending the millions of dollars it costs to air a Super Bowl commercial. Ad mavens will have to settle for the inevitable beer commercials and a slew of dotcom ads instead. And yet, there is still a connection between this year's game and Apple; it's QuickTime. No, you won't be able to watch the game online-- those ad spots wouldn't cost nearly so much if you could. According to an Apple press release, though, the QTV network is webcasting little fifteen-minute pre-game segments through Friday, starring various FOX Sports analysts. And the real coup is that QTV will also broadcast a live half-hour analysis during half-time on Sunday.

Forgive us for not getting more excited; it's just that without the drugs and the spiky weapons, half-time analysis would put us to sleep. Still, given the gazillions of football fans out there, we're hoping that Apple's webcasts pull in a slew of new QuickTime users. That's the nice thing about QTV; while everyone else is watching a bunch of guys talk about the first half, we can tune in to Nickelodeon instead. Or maybe WGBH will be showing the Teletubbies-- now there's a Super Bowl contrast for you. Eh-oh, Laa-Laa!