TV-PGNovember 28, 1997: (Sorry—this was before we started writing intro text for each episode!)
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 
They ALL Think Different (11/28/97)
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The time-honored tradition of people ripping off Apple's innovations is reportedly no longer limited to its technological advances, according to Macintouch; the practice has apparently trickled down into the advertising sector, as well. It seems that advertisers all over are "thinking different" in their ads, to the point where it's not particularly different anymore.

For example, one reader points out a new Mazda commercial which shows a series of slogans, culminating in Apple's catch phrase. Think we're yanking your chain? Head over to one of Mazda's web servers to see for yourself. (The main page lets you select the nearest server, such as this U.S. one.) It's there (literally) in black and white: "we think different." Maybe Mazda does, but its advertising agency sure could use a lesson in independent thought. Anyone else seeing the inherent humor (not to mention questionable intelligence) in copying a phrase entreating people to think differently?

On the plus side, maybe this'll steer the grammar flames away from Apple and towards Mazda for a while...

 
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Spam Separatists (11/28/97)
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Thanksgiving has come and gone, but one thing we're not thankful for is the tenacity of spammers. According to Inter@ctive Week, two of the 'net's biggest spammers are tired of being booted off of service provider after service provider, and have decided to--get this--build their own internet backbone.

Wow. Apparently, getting "kicked off of five networks in the past three years" wasn't enough of a hint to Cyber Promotions Inc. that perhaps their methods, well, really tick people off. Instead, they're plowing ahead with Quantum Communications Inc. to create a new network company named "Global Technology Marketing Inc." whose slogan, we can only assume, will be "All Spam, All the Time." Oh, but don't worry-- they intend to enforce a (giggle) "strict code of ethics" among the spammers they host. They claim that their spam will be eminently filterable, but we'll believe that when it happens.

The thing that puzzles us is this: Given the fact that everyone hates spam, why do the spammers go to such lengths to continue? You'd think that such a universally reviled marketing method would repel, instead of attract, customers for a company's goods and services. But since they show no signs of relenting, we can only assume that's not the case. Somebody must be responding to spam with $$$, because otherwise it wouldn't be cost-effective and they'd stop sending it. So who, then, is participating in those get-rich-quick pyramid schemes and ordering those guides on how to investigate your spouse? C'mon, fess up and take your medicine...

 
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Clone Wars Revisited (11/28/97)
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It's been a few months since Apple killed Mac OS licensing as we knew it, which, in computer techonology time, squarely plants the whole struggle in the realm of history instead of that of current events. Which is why the Times of London just published an article on why Apple had to pull the plug.

It's nothing you haven't read before, really, but it's a good summary of Apple's justifications: Apple wasn't charging enough for its licenses to cover the costs of development; license costs were significantly lower than those of Windows NT; if Apple had continued in the same vein it'd have gone out business in a year, and would have taken cloning with it, anyway. One interesting tidbit is that

Apple has learned one valuable lesson from all this, according to Jeff Martin, a senior director at Apple: "Its high-end customers are its most valuable customers." Hmm, that's all well and good, but does that mean Apple will bow out of the home and consumer markets? We hope not, because there's still a lot of homes without computers in them...

 
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