If you're paying any attention at all to the buzz surrounding Mac OS X, you're probably aware that the chances of Steve Jobs strolling out on stage at next month's Expo and announcing that version 1.0 is "available now" are pretty darn slim. First of all, there are the cold, hard facts: there's been only one beta, and it wasn't even feature-complete, lacking many of the niceties that Apple would need to include in a finished product-- AirPort support, better printing, a Dock that doesn't block window resize widgets, etc. And then there are the rumors and "insider info": first the Naked Mole Rat intimated that Apple's long-overdue operating system would ship "no earlier than the end of February," and barely a week later, ZDNet claimed that Apple was scheduling Mac OS X's big coming-out party for February 24th.

But for those of you who have planned elaborate Mac OS X release parties for that date, you might want to hold off on mailing the engraved invitations. Faithful viewer Nonsuch alerted us to a tidbit over at RAILhead Design last week, following ZDNet's "February 24th" scoop; apparently RAILhead's moles "CANNOT confirm" that, and indeed "do not know ANYTHING about this so-called 'special event' in February." Furthermore, while the Naked Mole Rat stated that the current public beta "will be both the first and last," RAILhead claims that "there will be another public beta release" at the Expo-- which, if true, would make a late-February 1.0 release pretty unlikely.

But wait, there's more! Order within the next ten minutes and we'll throw in a disinformation conspiracy theory absolutely free, while supplies last! As faithful viewer Jonathan Claydon reminds us, February 24th isn't just any ol' date yanked willy-nilly off the calendar; it also just happens to be the birthday of a certain iCEO we all know and love. And need we remind you that said iCEO is often characterized as being so intolerant of Apple moles that he even goes so far as to plant fake info purely as a means to trace and eliminate leaks while also confounding the rumors sites? That certainly puts this whole "February 24th" thing in a different light. You know, we were always suspicious of the claim that Apple would unveil Mac OS X on the last day of the Tokyo Expo-- and on a Saturday, to boot.

On the other hand, don't cancel those parties outright. Even if Mac OS X isn't actually born on the 24th as rumored, you can still celebrate the Illustrious Birth of Steve instead.

Oh, that Apple-- ever selflessly championing the establishment of industry standards for the benefit of the little guy. Why else would the company (together with Sun, Cisco, Philips, and Kasenna) sign on as a charter member of the Internet Streaming Media Alliance, as reported by Macworld? Together, the five companies comprising the ISMA hope to create a single, universal, open standard for the streaming of audio and video over the Internet.

Clearly, Apple wishes to spare the world the frustrating juggling act necessitated by installing and maintaining three or more separate streaming media architectures on each computer, just to be able to access content from different sites. Were you aware that not every site streams their video content via QuickTime Streaming? Strange but true! Every so often, surfers who check in at the more obscure sites (like, say, CNN) discover that the videos are only available in arcane and obscure formats like "Windows Media" or "RealVideo." This discovery prompted Apple to wonder, "gee, wouldn't it be terrific if all video content on the 'net was streamed according to one standard? Imagine how much time, money, and disk space the noble consumer would save-- not to mention the webcasters themselves!"

Now, it's important that you don't read anything into the fact that the purveyors of non-QuickTime streaming technologies (whoever they might be) haven't yet signed on with the ISMA. We're sure those little guys are just too busy raising venture capital in order to get their businesses off the ground, but they'll join up as soon as they get a little breathing room. In the same vein, just because Apple's the only ISMA member who actually makes a streaming media architecture, you shouldn't see this effort as a thinly-veiled partisan ploy to establish QuickTime as the official granddaddy of all media. Got it?

Okay. As for the ISMA's plans to establish this holy grail of a standard, the first step is to draft "an initial specification for MPEG-4 over IP." Hey, wait a minute... isn't MPEG-4 based on QuickTime's file format?...

Good golly-- we're so stunned at our utter lapse of memory, we're actually saying things like "good golly." Imagine, the AtAT staff forgetting that "the other Steve" is going to be on A&E tonight! Thank heavens for faithful viewers like Milo Auckerman who can remind us of stuff like this as our memories deteriorate in these, our twilight years. Senility's a nasty thing, to be sure, but we like to focus on the positive: at least we can still tune in and enjoy a nice Biography episode on the Woz (provided that sharper tacks in the cork board are considerate enough to remind us).

So yeah, that's the scoop: flip to A&E at 8 PM EST (check your local listings to make sure), and bask in the glory of Woz for an hour, as Biography continues its series on "high-tech billionaires." Steve Jobs may be the flashier of Apple's original Dynamic Duo, but it was Woz who really delivered the goods in the form of the Apple I. And whereas Jobs evidently thrives on corporate intrigue, confrontation, and success, Wozniak actually pulled out of the game in 1985 when the Rat Race just got too ratty. He blew a chunk of his Apple cash on a couple of rock concerts, and then started volunteering at local schools. These days, aside from his recent induction into the National Inventor's Hall of Fame, most of his public appearances are via the WozCam, so it's nice to see him featured on a high-profile show like Biography.

Tune in tonight for more on the Teller to Jobs's Penn... the original Apple's "softer side of Sears." And for those of you who don't have cable, get on the stick. Don't tell us you can't afford it; basic cable is cheap enough to be paid for by selling your blood twice a month. They're called priorities, people!