Can we just say one thing? We're stuffed. Gorging ourselves at Thanksgiving is one thing, but that's generally an isolated instance of applied gluttony; one decent hibernation later and we're right as rain. Christmas, on the other hand, is a whole different story. When we embark on our semi-annual Midwest Tour, our social calendars get jammed full of lunches and dinners with various relatives and friends who, therefore, only ever see us once a year-- stuffing our faces. Add the Chicago Diner into the mix (where the portions are huge and all the desserts are vegan), stir, bake for half an hour at 350 degrees, and voilà: the perfect recipe for a week of stomach-stretching, pound-packing excess. Bloat City! And with an excess of holiday cookies and other goodies lying around, we assume we're not the only ones needing to punch an extra belt hole or two this time of year.

Now, with Macworld Expo less than two weeks away, we're wondering if the holiday poundage factor is influencing the buzz building around Apple's upcoming products. We're noticing a lot more discussion about the rumored PowerBook G4 than those alleged faster Power Macs, despite the clock speed drought that's had Mac fans gasping for cycles for a year now. Sure, the road warriors have been waiting for a portable G4 for even longer than that, but somehow we still think that holiday pigging out is influencing the rumor mill. Why dish the dirt about a big ol' Power Mac when there's a slim and svelte PowerBook to talk about? And when we say "svelte," we mean it. According to an inside source reporting to AppleInsider, "you wouldn't believe how light it is." And for those of you who were holding out hope for a zaftig wide-screen display, apparently you're out of luck; the PowerBook G4 has been resisting the temptation of holiday gluttony and has managed to retain the classic 4:3 aspect ratio that's still the rage on the runways in Paris and Milan.

AppleInsider's not the only one talking about the PowerBook's remarkable slimness, either. Go2Mac has declared this week "Mercury Week" (after the PowerBook G4's code name) and has the scoop on some rather... extreme methods by which Apple kept the unit's weight down. Reportedly Mercury's 1.5-inch thickness was achieved in part by the surgical removal of the PowerBook's expansion bay. That's right; if Go2Mac is correct, say goodbye to the convenience of swapping your DVD-ROM drive with a Zip drive, CD-RW, or the like. Likewise, digital nomads who live life on the plane may blanch at the prospect of Mercury's internal fixed iBook-like battery; here's hoping that Apple managed to squeeze a lot of juice into that single battery, because a lighter PowerBook isn't going to be a whole lot of use if it conks out halfway across the Atlantic. Hmmm... we were going to ask Apple for dieting advice, but now maybe we'll pass. Heck, there's just more of us to love. Pardon us, but we hear a couple of slices of German chocolate cake calling our names...

Wow, it's almost enough to make us want to go back to school! Remember a couple of weeks ago when we told you about how the University of Wisconsin-Stout is going to require all incoming freshmen to own Apple laptops in the fall of 2002? Sounds like a great way to scam a free iBook from the parents, doesn't it? "But Mom, it's a school requirement!" We can just see the hordes of young Mac fanatics scrambling for admission now...

But don't assume that UW-Stout's the best school where you can score a free iBook. We were poking around MacNN recently and came across a link to an Associated Press story about Bowling Green State University in Ohio, who is reportedly giving away 150 iBooks to selected freshmen this upcoming semester. That's right-- giving away. As in, you don't even have to shmooze your parents, since the University's picking up the tab. Okay, so it's not really a gift, since the lucky iBook recipients are expected to return the iBooks when they graduate in three years, but at least there's an option to buy the things "at a reduced rate."

There's another catch, too; while every freshman at UW-Stout has to own a laptop, only 150 freshmen at Bowling Green will be getting the free iBooks. What puzzles us slightly are the criteria for choosing the lucky students: the iBooks are being given to "freshmen who have not decided on a major or whose standardized test scores were below average." The idea, we think, is to give disadvantaged students a leg up, or something; the project manager for the initiative is hoping that the iBook distribution plan will "help grades" and "boost retention." We have to wonder if he's really thought this through, though, since his strategy is based on the principle that "the only thing you can do is keep throwing technology at these students and hope it sticks." Huh.

Well, if the plan is to lob technology at uninterested students, we figure using flashy-looking and inviting iBooks is a good idea, but the whole premise sounds a little shaky to us. Heck, we wouldn't mind intentionally throwing a few standardized tests or holding off on declaring a major if it meant we'd get a couple of free iBooks for three years. Once this program is firmly in place, it'll be interesting to see whether the school's scores go up or down over the next couple of years. In any case, we bet the Mac-using population will increase-- and hey, what else matters?

Sounds like Santa didn't send the elves out shopping for new computers as he stocked up on gifts this year. According to a Reuters article, "anecdotal evidence" indicates that personal computers weren't exactly the hot ticket this holiday buying season. (Given the lackluster crowd at the Chicago Micro Center last Saturday night, we can throw another anecdote on the pile.) The probable result is an imminent price war, as already-beleaguered computer manufacturers slash prices to the bone in an effort to dump scads of rapidly-depreciating inventory. You know those tech stocks that took a massive hit with the recent round of less-than-pleasant earnings forecasts? We fully expect them to get hammered still further if this "brutal war" erupts.

Of course, most of you don't much care what happens to Dell or Gateway or any of the other beige box-builders. What matters is how this price war might affect Apple. Since those merry Mac-makers produce a distinctly different product than the rest of the rabble, you might think they could emerge from this situation relatively unscathed, right? Wrong-- at least, that's what the article says. "Apple Computer Inc. could be one of the hardest hit," due to that whole Cube debacle and what appears to be a lukewarm consumer response to those Jeff Goldblum "hey look, I can use my iMac to make a web page of footage of myself dancing like an idiot" commercials. Apple expected sales to fall a whopping 40% this holiday season, which is indeed a Santa-sized spanking.

But hey, look on the bright side. If Apple is indeed dragged through the razor wire just like the rest of them, that may mean that the company (and therefore the longer-term health and prosperity of the Macintosh platform) suffers miserably, but at least you may get to pick up a nice Mac for real cheap! Personally, we've been avoiding the crazed post-Christmas year-end clearance sales in Retailville, but anyone who's willing to get in there and get a little bloody might emerge with a great deal. And depending on how well Apple's recent rebate promotions went over with consumers, the company may be forced to cut prices still further to liquidate any professional products still in the channel one the new Power Macs and PowerBooks (hopefully) emerge in January. This could be a virtual windfall for those of you who are finally considering replacing your LCIII's and IIci's. And when you take advantage of Apple's sorry state by picking up a Mac or two at sinfully low prices, don't worry about Steve-- he's still got his jet to play with.