Okay, so Apple has its own retail stores, now, and by all accounts they kick major booty-- so why should any of us care whether or not Apple's other retailers are performing below par? Well, the short answer is that while, for instance, CompUSA has over 200 locations across the country, Apple so far has, um, two. And strange as it may seem, most people aren't willing to drive a few hundred miles just to window-shop for computers. So while in a perfect world we'd love to let the more awful Mac retail outlets just die their well-deserved deaths, Apple is taking the much smarter path and trying to improve them.

If you're one of those scary people with a memory capable of retrieving data stored over a month ago (what are you, some kind of cyborg or something?), then perhaps you recall Apple launching a pilot program in April intended to improve the retail Mac-buying experience. To recap, Apple stationed one of its own employees in each of eighteen CompUSA stores in the Dallas and San Francisco areas; these brave soldiers were ordered to ensure that Apple gear was adequately stocked, demonstrated, and sold-- as well as to train the actual CompUSA employees in the ins and outs of Apple technology. Sounds like an uphill battle, doesn't it? But apparently it paid off.

According to MacNN, the test program was a rousing success; we take that to mean that the Apple "stores within stores" at those eighteen CompUSA locations are now considerably less dank, are staffed by employees who no longer tell shoppers that Apple went out of business, and contain working demo Macs that were manufactured sometime within the past three years and aren't actually on fire. This improvement has apparently so impressed Apple's management that the company has decided to expand the program nationwide by the end of this year.

That's good news for two reasons. First of all, it means that every CompUSA store is probably going to improve to some degree, so fewer shoppers will equate the name "Macintosh" with the phrase "half-melted translucent computer smoldering gently in the corner as sparks shoot out of it and ignite the software aisle." Secondly, it proves that Apple isn't as short-sighted as we are, and isn't betting everything on the Apple Stores; instead, it's actively working with its existing retail partners instead of just letting them wither and die. So rejoice! Retail salvation is at hand, and not just in Apple's own boutiques.

Geez, maybe it's time we cut the retailers a little slack; after all, can we really fault, say, CompUSA with carrying a less-than-compelling selection of Mac-compatible software if even Apple can't keep Windows-only software from infesting its shelves? Apparently we've been believing Apple's hype for too long, because we guess there isn't enough Mac software; why else would Apple's retail store in Glendale need to pad its Software Alley with a Windows-only version of Vampire, The Masquerade, as reported by The Mac Observer? D'oh! Ten Hail Steves and five lashes with a FireWire cable to whoever screwed this one up...

Now, there are two ways to look at this. On the one hand, you could consider the presence of Windows-only software in Apple's own retail stores a sign that selling Macs at retail is somehow cursed on a cosmic level; after all, here Apple has gone so far as to open its own chain of stores in order to maintain 100% control over the Mac shopping experience, and something stupid like the presence of a game that won't work on a Mac still rears its ugly head. What's next, all the iMacs in the store turn into-- lord forbid-- Gateway Profiles?

On the other hand, you could simply accept the presence of Vampire, The Masquerade as a silly ordering or shipping mistake that was corrected "within two minutes" by members of the Apple Store staff when the title's Windows-only system requirements were pointed out to them. Tell the staff about the presence of Windows software in the Mac section at other retail stores, and most likely all you'll get is a blank stare, unless the employee can muster enough energy to spit on you as well. (In contrast, we bet that Apple Store employees would spit on you immediately and with gusto if you asked nicely. Believe it or not, hiring employees who actually care really can make a difference. Alert the media!)

On the other other hand, we're a smidge concerned that none of the Apple Store staff noticed the Windows-only nature of Vampire: The Masquerade when six copies were placed on the shelves in the first place. We aren't hardcore gamers by any stretch of the imagination, but the AtAT staff was at least aware that Vampire isn't yet available for the Mac. Maybe that's not a fair comparison, though, given our status as confirmed Buffy addicts; we've been waiting for Vampire for a while now. The game is scheduled to come to the Mac sometime later this year, if MacSoft's "Coming Soon" page can be believed. Then again, seeing as that page still lists products "scheduled for release" last September, it's pretty clear that it only gets updated about once every presidential election-- and thus should be taken with a grain of salt. Still, we're confident that Vampire will make it back onto Apple Store shelves eventually-- at which point we Mac users will actually be able to play it.

Finally, an upbeat quickie to send you merrily on your weekend way: the annual Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee finished up yesterday, as 13-year-old walking dictionary Sean Conley snagged the trophy by correctly spelling the word "succedaneum" while spinning six plates on sticks and drinking a glass of water. (Actually, we're just assuming that last part; it's possible that the contest sponsors may have eliminated the talent portion of the competition in recent years. We wonder if two-piece swimsuits are allowed these days?)

What does this have to do with Apple, you ask? Well, faithful viewer Russell Maggio noticed that in the photograph of the winner and his parents, his father is very clearly wearing a black Mac OS X t-shirt. Yeah, tell us it's a coincidence. We dare you. As faithful viewer FatMacMan puts it, "Smart Kid... Smart Dad!" And really, if the father is enough of a Mac enthusiast to don the Aqua "X," what are the odds that his kid doesn't have a Mac, too? Do we sense an imminent product endorsement? We can see the commercials now: "'Preemptive multitasking.' P, R, E, E..."

Incidentally, none of the AtAT staff has ever even made it to the state level in the National Spelling Bee; Jack came close, once, but even at the tender age of twelve, his sense of paranoia was sufficiently well-developed to lead him to believe that "quern" couldn't possibly be spelled as it sounds, and thus was he smacked down at regionals. Perhaps if he had owned an Apple computer at that time things would have been different-- or better yet, a Mac OS X shirt could have fallen through a wormhole in the space-time continuum and found its way into his father's wardrobe. It's all about the big blue "X," people...