Ain't it always the way? Every time we get caught up in something non-AtATy that sucks up all of our time so we don't even know what day it is anymore, that's when Apple chooses to pull all sorts of interesting stunts. Take, for example, this past weekend, during which we were locked in a room fighting a deadline for two straight days, without even the time to check our mail. Let's see if we can reconstruct the drama we missed based on the written record of AtAT viewer correspondence, shall we?

Okay, let's see, here... first, at about 2 PM on Saturday, faithful viewer Mike Scherer tried to tell us that Think Secret was predicting new iPods for Monday. Then, seven hours later, faithful viewer Spencer Hales informed us (well, our inbox, anyway) that Newsweek had apparently leaked a photo of the new 'Pod two days early. (Scary man! SCARY MAN WITH SCARY EYES!!) Just slightly over twenty-four hours after that, faithful viewer Michael Wyszomierski was first to send us notification that the Apple Store was down. And at 8:00 Monday morning, faithful viewer AaronS sent us a note about the fourth-gen iPods officially having appeared at the Apple Store.

And then we actually first heard about any of this when faithful viewer Shane Burgess IM'd us to mention it four hours later. Oh, the things we miss when we're racing the clock.

But they're here! The new iPods are here, that's the important thing, and when we finally took a gander at Apple's press release, we were delighted to find that all new iPods are equipped with a slightly larger and equally excellent version of the miniPod Click Wheel, they all boast 50% more battery life (12 hours, up from 8), and they all... um... have the "Shuffle Songs" command on the main menu. We're not entirely sure why Apple thinks that's such a selling point, but okay, whatever.

The interesting thing, though, is that when we've been saying "all" new iPods, we actually meant "both." It seems that Apple has seen fit to drop one model from the lineup, so let's see which one it is. The new 20 GB model costs $299, which is what the low-end 15 GB one used to cost; the new 40 GB iPod goes for $399, the cost of the previous 20 GB unit. So one interpretation is that Apple ditched the low-end 15 GB one and dropped prices on the two larger-capacity models. Another take, though, is that Apple bumped the low-end up to 20 GB, bumped the mid-range up to 40 GB, and-- got rid of the high-end $499 model. Which made us figure, hey, that'll be the 60 GB model that Toshiba leaked a few weeks back, right? They aren't supposed to surface until September, so that's when we'll see the high-end $499 model reappear.

We were so proud of that bit of deductive reasoning, and it turns out that we were wrong, wrong, wrong.

If you were on the same page as us, here's where it all falls apart: faithful viewer David Poves found that, according to MacMinute, Apple veep o' hardware product marketing Greg Joswiak has just gone on the record to state that Apple has "no plans in regard to announcing 60 GB models." Says he, "We are trying to create a much more compelling lineup with two models for 20 and 40 GB at extremely compelling prices." Granted, that's not strictly a denial, but it's enough to assume he's not just being tricky. (On the plus side, let the speculation commence about what the 60 GB teeny-drives Apple allegedly ordered from Toshiba are for, if not iPods. "Oooo, Apple PDA!! Apple PDA!!")

Incidentally, we're still in crazed mode with much too much to do before we leave town Wednesday morning, so consider this official notification that AtAT will be on "Necessity Hiatus" for a week starting now. What that means is that we're still hoping to broadcast new weekday episodes as usual, but that since we have so little control over our own time and resources while on the road, we may simply have to bail on one or more (or all) days. May we suggest that you plug our RSS feed into your aggregator of choice so you'll know when we manage to get new drama on the air? And if the worst-case scenario comes to pass (well, not the very worst, obviously), we'll see you in a week. Hang in there...

It's entirely possible you were so busy drooling over the new iPods that you missed an interesting little role the devices are playing at one particular institution of higher learning. Faithful viewer Jeff Wiley forwarded us a CNET article which is mostly about the new 'Pod launch, but which mentions a deal with Duke University that has us almost wanting to go back to school. Almost.

Check this out: "Duke University will give Apple iPods to each of its 1,650 freshmen this fall, allowing them to access class schedules and course information, as well as play music via the devices." Now, it's been many, many years since any of the AtAT staff were college freshmen, but none of us recalls receiving anything like an iPod (or, since this was back at the dawn of civilization, a goat) just for showing up. Those lucky Duke froshlings will be using a custom version of iTunes that "will allow students to both buy music and download class information," with the latter material presumably settling into the iPod's Calendar and Notes. This is reportedly just a pilot program, but regardless of whether or not it takes off, the Duke freshmen get to keep the iPods. (To which we can only think, yeah, just try taking them back.)

Duke apparently sees the iPod experiment as more than a way of getting kids to class on time. Tracy Futhey, Duke's veep of IT, wants to see the school's faculty and students "think creatively about using digital audio content and a mobile computing environment to advance educational goals." So, what, then... recordings of lectures downloadable through the special DukeTunes? Audio-based homework assignments? Who knows? But there's a chance this could get interesting enough that we'd stop fuming in envy about all those freshmen getting free iPods. See, we're still wrapping our heads around the notion that what we paid for our 5 GB, 10-hour battery original 'Pods will now fetch a slimmer, lighter model with eight times the storage capacity and two extra hours of juice. But we digress.

From Apple's perspective, we can't help wondering if this is the first prong in an Apple plot to stifle all those college Napster deals popping up all over the country. After all, if the kids have iPods, they're going to use them-- and obviously not with Napster songs, which aren't compatible. Suppose Napster's twitching yet, knowing that it might have to shell out more of its nonexistent cash for more free hardware giveaways?

We finish on a happy note, as faithful viewer Prachi Gauriar informs us of the most amazing comeback of a fallen marketing idol since the Pets.com sock puppet got hired to shill for auto-loans-for-deadbeats pioneers 1-800-BAR-NONE ("Everyone Deserves a Second Chance"). You know who we're talking about, right? Our own beloved Steven, that modern Eddie Haskell who shmoozed soulless Wintels for all his friends by grinning ingratiatingly at their befuddled parents. "Dude, you're getting something resembling work!"

You have to remember, folks, Steven (or Ben Curtis, as he's known in the biz) watched his career prospects swirl lazily down the toilet when he managed to get himself busted for possession of marijuana about a year and a half ago, just when Dell was on the fence about de-emphasizing the "Dude" campaign. Needless to say, the zillion-and-a-half news outlets that each independently ran stories with the headline "DUDE, YOU'RE GETTING A CELL" (to this day, we're still proud that our variant-- "Dude, You're Getting Deloused"-- was seemingly unique) made Dell's decision a whole lot easier. Not that playing Steven for another three or four years would have exactly opened many doors for Mr. Curtis, but at least he'd have been rolling in dough.

But he's working again! No, it's not Shakespeare in the Park (more's the pity; we hear his portrayal of Lear is sublime), but an official press release announces that "Ben Curtis, the high-profile, nationally recognized talent"-- sshhh, this is serious!-- "previously featured as 'The Dell Dude'" is going to be starring in a series of commercials this summer for GameZnFlix, an apparent rip-off of Netflix that undercuts them on price and mixes console game rentals in with the whole DVDs-by-mail thing. Ben's three commercials will reportedly focus more on the games side of the business and is targeted at the "young people between the ages of 12 and 25" market.

Anyway, best wishes to Ben; it's nice to hear he's not going to starve. Wow, first the sock puppet, and now "Dude"-- will it be a marketing icon rebirth hat trick? If you spot Ellen Feiss in a commercial as the new spokeswoman for Visine or something, let us know, okay?