Okay, so we're a little confused, here; as first pointed out by faithful viewer mrmgraphics, the hPod is officially available for preorder, and it's different from Apple's how, exactly? Because our sources were right about Hewlett-Packard having bailed on its original plan to offer its rebranded iPods in a delicate shade of blue that falls somewhere between "Cornflower" and "Drowning Victim, Day 3"-- they're white and silver, just like Apple's. They come in 20 GB and 40 GB models, just like Apple's. They cost $299 and $399, just like Apple's. In fact, we're very hard pressed to find out just what the "+ hp" is in the "Apple iPod + hp." The box, perhaps?

Well, let's dig a little, here: HP's downloadable media fact sheet states that "by combining Apple's popular design with HP's consumer reach and comprehensive technical support, the result is a winning digital music solution for the masses." In other words, all HP is bringing to the party is better tech support and distribution channels? Mmmm. Compelling.

Actually, though, the wider distribution is pretty cool. According to MacCentral, hPods will be sold in several stores whose shelves are still virgin unPodded territory. For example, soon you'll be able to get an iPod at Staples, who's already showing a "Coming Soon!" ad on its home page. They'll also be at Office Depot, which, for some reason, apparently only currently sells the minis. Costco already has 'em available for ordering online-- at a hefty 0% discount. (Bad Costco! No biscuit!) And let's not forget the ultimate nerd retailer, Radio Shack, which currently only carries a selection of flash-based players and a MiniDisc doohickey. Of course, we haven't a clue as to what will happen in all the stores on HP's list that already sell Apple iPods + Apple; since the HP models are apparently nearly identical, it seems odd that Amazon, CompUSA, Best Buy, etc. would stock both, but hey, whatever lets their freak flag fly.

As for better support, we should probably clarify that. What HP actually offers is a wider variety of support options. With Apple you get a one-year warranty and a single incident of free phone support, upgradable to two years including phone support if you buy the AppleCare Protection Plan for iPod. HP, on the other hand, has a slew of support plan choices, including selections with 24-7 phone support and one-hour response time-- just in case your iPod plays a mission-critical role in your unflagging, 'round-the-clock one-man-war against crime. We'd sure hate for, say, the Riddler to get away one night just because you couldn't call Apple's support line at 3 AM to ask them what the "Sound Check" option does.

And let's not forget HP's one real innovation on the iPod front-- and back, sides, top, and bottom. Yes, it's HP Tattoos; you can't get your hPod engraved when you order it, but you sure can wrap it up in a removable die-cut plastic poncho-sticker featuring design themes of artists such as Gwen Stefani, Sting, and the Cure. Better yet, HP plans to sell blank HP Tattoos so you can print your own. Since the hPod is just a 4G iPod, even if you've got Apple's version you'll soon be able to wrap it up in your own custom-printed protective sleeves. How much ya wanna bet that at least 30% of self-printed iPod tattoos will be pornographic in nature? Any takers?

Okay, so those are the differences: more stores, more support choices, and the option to cover one's iPod in pictures of nekkid ladies (but Apple customers will get to do that, too). Oh, and there's a little teensy HP logo on the back of each unit, under the Apple logo. And we just noticed this: "HP has also designed the packaging for the Apple iPod from HP to easily communicate product features to users." Hey, we were right about the box!

It's Wildly Off-Topic Microsoft-Bashing Day (by proxy), and what timing! Faithful viewer Xel was the first of many to tip us off to an article over at Microsoft Watch with the ominous title of "Microsoft to Gut Longhorn to Make 2006 Delivery Date." (Personally, we prefer the slightly more evocative imagery of The Register's "Avalon faces axe as Microsoft dismembers Longhorn," but to each his own.) You may recall an earlier installment of WO-TM-BD back in April in which we noted that Microsoft had already resorted to tossing features from the Longhorn spec in order to make it even remotely deliverable by its 2006 ship date, pruning some of the nicer features of its much-hyped WinFS file system. At the time we said that Microsoft was still "trying to decide what other highly-touted features to cut in order to hit that 2006 ship date."

Well, apparently they've decided, and sources claim that WinFS is out. Completely. And that's a pretty significant cut, since Longhorn is supposed to be a huge next-generation quantum-leap-forward version of Windows due to four major changes: WinFS, Avalon (a GUI/display subsystem that some have called a blatant ripoff of Mac OS X's Quartz and Aqua), Indigo (a communications layer), and a pack of fundamental new APIs for developers to build with. Now that WinFS is reportedly gone, Longhorn looks a little like a coffee table with one leg hacked off. Or is it two? Because Microsoft is also said to be "decoupling" Avalon from Longhorn, planning to make it run on XP as well someday. And come to think of it, Microsoft did the same thing to Indigo last year. So what, exactly, is left for Longhorn?

The answer? Not much. One source says that "Longhorn is going to stop being a whole new thing and more of an XP with a lot of good new stuff"-- which, frankly, sounds like the Windows ME strategy all over again. According to the article, with both WinFS and Avalon now hacked from the 2006 release, "Longhorn won't look much like the early builds that Microsoft has been distributing to date. But it should run existing applications."

"Run existing applications"? Can't... can't people do that now?

You know what? We're pretty sure they can. In fact, we think we saw someone doing it just a few hours ago. So we're not exactly sure what all the Longhorn hype is about.

But you want to know what's really sad about this whole Longhorn situation? It's that the operating system's feature set is getting pared to the bone just to hit this 2006 ship date, when until just last October Microsoft was swearing up and down that it would be out the door in 2005 at the latest. And as faithful viewer Miche Doherty reminds us, way back in October of 2001, Bill Gates swore on a stack of bibles 'n' nuns that Longhorn would ship in 2003. And while Microsoft did indeed hold a gala event last year celebrating Longhorn's completion (!), getting drunk don't make it so. Nice try, though.