Nothing spices up a show like a healthy dose of surrealism, and the recent rumors of an Apple takeover threaten to make AtAT look like Twin Peaks-- that is, if the Log Lady had big round ears and a high-pitched giggle. Never mind the takeover rumors of years past-- Sun and IBM have nothing on the star of the current drama. Wouldja believe, Walt Disney? Echoing cryptic references made recently on Apple Recon, the San Jose Mercury News reports that Apple may be annexed by the Magic Kingdom.

Stranger yet? Apparently many Apple employees of past and present think the idea's not half bad. After all, one of Apple's big markets is education and, by extension, kids; Disney knows how to sell to that crowd. (Anything with Winnie-the-Pooh on it's fair game for our niece, for example.) Just think of the possibilities: How about a line of brightly-colored eMates, bearing the likenesses of Anastasia, Beauty and the Beast, or the Lion King? Kids would be picking them out like lunchboxes. At home, they could surf the net on their G3-powered Little Mermaid Macs, tapping away on their black-and-orange-striped Tigger ADB keyboards. And, of course, what DisneyMac would be complete without a Mickey Mouse? It boggles the mind. And don't forget the obvious Toy Story tie-ins, given Steve Jobs' dual responsibilities at Apple and Pixar. Wheee!

We'd like to see Disney buy out Apple for the sole reason that we think Artemis would look just spiffy with a pair of big, round, black ears sticking out of the top; then again, given its lumpy shape, perhaps a Hunchback tie-in would be more appropriate. In our next episode, tune in to hear how this Apple buyout is being orchestrated by none other than the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney himself!

It takes a certain amount of nerve to court the education market with an entirely new computing device, part PDA and part laptop, quite unlike anything that has come before. However, that's nothing compared to the colossal amount of nerve required to keep pushing that weird and wonderful little slab (known to you and me as the eMate 300) after announcing that all further development of the device has been scrapped. Nonetheless, if anyone's doubted Apple's place at the top of the Nerve-o-meter, we now have proof that Apple reigns supreme. Yes, according to a TechWeb article, Apple continues to hawk the orphaned eMates in the K-12 market, in a move that defines "chutzpah" almost as clearly as claiming that Internet Explorer is part of an OS, and not an application.

Steve Zalot, an advisory systems engineer at Apple who is responsible for supporting the educational market, showed up to the Pennsylvania Education Technology Conference calling the cancellation of Newton a "painful decision," but claiming that Newton devices such as the eMate were "still a viable part of our offerings." And while we at AtAT would have to agree on a purely technical level (those eMates are cool), we're hard-pressed to imagine a school that would invest several thousand dollars in computers whose manufacturer had essentially said was a dead-end purchase, no matter how cool and useful those computers may be. If Apple really wants to pick up where it left off, it's got to hurry up with those Mac OS Lite-based eMates.

But given that Apple currently doesn't have those Mac OS Lite-based eMates, and no NC's, and no Artemis, it's not entirely surprising to find they're still pushing the only education-suited computer they've got that costs under $1000. We're just sorry that they didn't have anything more viable to show. We know they can produce the goods, but it's all a matter of time, now. The clock's ticking, guys...

Tia O'Brien over at Upside.com has an interesting article that focuses on the Apple CEO search from the perspective of the headhunter. John Thompson, the vice chairman of Heidrick & Struggles, is the man saddled with the unenviable task of trying to find a new CEO for Apple-- is the Herculean nature of his job taking its toll? It sounds like most people in the know are tagging Thompson's quest as a lost cause. It's a good read that sheds a little bit of light on an otherwise obscure process.

Interestingly, it sounds as if Thompson's in a no-lose situation; since no one expects him to be able to find Apple a CEO, it'll be a major coup if he pulls it off. If he fails, however, he won't be surprising anyone. And apparently he gets his half-million dollars either way. However, don't assume that means he's got no incentive to look. If he can find the magic CEO that brings Apple back to sustained profitability and greatness, he'll likely earn himself a place in the silicon Valley history books. Not too shabby an incentive for a Type A personality.

Actually, we admit it-- we included this piece primarily because faithful viewer Judy made us laugh when she told us that Tia O'Brien looks like Betty Crocker. :-)