The MacOS Rumors folks have opened up the Wacko File again, and it reveals preparations of an Apple civil war of epic proportions. If all of this pans out, you'll have a story to tell your grandkids. Ready? Hold on tight...

On one side, you have the saber-rattling Larry Ellison of Oracle, who recently joined the Apple board of directors. It's no secret that he is basically best friends with Steve Jobs. Many of us were a little wary when Larry joined the board; after all, remember his "trial balloon" several months ago, in which he floated the idea of an Apple buyout? Well, his current move is the next step in an Apple takeover plan... Rumors reports that he has persuaded Steve to propose an Apple/Oracle merger at the next board meeting.

And yet this move may come too late, because on the other side, you have the seemingly-Apple-friendly cloner UMAX (a black hat in disguise?), teaming up with Motorola's money in preparation for a hostile takeover. Barbarians at the gate!

Rumors reports that this game of Capture-the-Flag is a race to the top. If Apple merges with Oracle before UMAX can make the takeover bid, the resulting company would be too large for UMAX to buy. But the clock is ticking...

In an article that we at AtAT find uncharacteristically charitable, Don Crabb puts forth the reasons why he thinks Steve Jobs would be the best CEO for Apple after all. We wouldn't expect Don to be so supportive of the possibility, even though his reasoning essentially amounts to the fact that no one but Jobs is crazy enough to pull off the miracle that would be Apple's survival.

His points are good ones: First of all, no one else out there that's even remotely qualified to be Apple CEO thinks Apple is saveable, or worth saving. (He gives Michael Dell's recent quote as an example of this prevailing attitude.) Second, anyone but Steve would balk at making the tough and unpopular decisions. Whether or not you agree with the decision to end open cloning, you have to admit that no one but Steve would have made it. And lastly, as an icon in the history of the personal computer, his return has the essence of legend about it, and that's gotten people interested in Apple again.

Meanwhile, though most of the media are reporting that Steve is off to Hawaii to contemplate whether or not he'll take the job (MacUser UK is even reporting that the Apple board has given him 30 days to make his decision), some sources say that he's not even in the running: the Honolulu Star-Bulletin reports that Apple spokewoman Katie Cotton says that Steve is not considering a permanent CEO position, nor is he planning a trip to Hawaii. In this maelstrom of conflicting news, whom should you believe? Why, us, of course. :-) Stay tuned, and we'll dish you the real dirt...

The Macintosh Conspiracy had an Anti-Microsoft day today, and we've got to thank them for pointing us to this nifty story on scripting.com. We're always up for another "Bill Gates Meets Satan" action. This one is relevant to the recent flap over Microsoft shipping an incompatible version of Java.

Interesting tidbit that popped up the other day: Did you know that Microsoft charges $95 per incident for Windows NT support? The first two are free, though, so make 'em count...