Gather 'round, kiddies, and stretch your minds wa-a-a-ay back to the Dawn of Time. Back in those dark days, Apple's next-generation operating system strategy relied heavily on an OS called Copland, which was to be a stepping stone on the path to a fully modern Mac OS. Copland died an ignominious death a couple of years ago, when the Amelio Dynasty finally killed it after realizing that it would never be stable enough to work-- and even if it did, it would provide severely limited backwards compatibility and still wouldn't yield all the goodies like full pre-emptive multitasking and all those other great buzzwords we've come to love so much. Enter the second Jobs Era, when Amelio bought NeXT to replace Copland and brought Steve on board in the role of consultant, and the rest is history.

However, when Steve looked at what had previously been known as Copland, he didn't toss it out completely; sure, it was a piece of crap, but it was a piece of crap that had cost hundreds of millions of dollars to develop, and its parts were more than the sum of its whole. Individual chunks were salvaged for use in the Mac OS: the Platinum look surfaced in Mac OS 8, Navigation Services are destined for next month's 8.5 release, etc. Unfortunately, the one "gee whiz" feature that would generate the most popular interest and the attention of the press has apparently been thrown on the back burner once again. Themes, the architecture that allows the configuration of the user interface based on predefined styles, have been yanked from the latest Mac OS 8.5 betas, apparently due to continued instability. Reality has more. Yes, friends, we'll have to wait still longer for those High-Tech and Gizmo themes we've been seeing since all those "Sneak Preview of Copland" articles several years ago. The latest prediction for this long-awaited Copland holdover is that it will finally ship with Mac OS 8.6 next year; in the meanwhile, it's Kaleidoscope or nothing.

Incidentally, while it has been previously assumed that Copland was named after famed composer Aaron Copland (and a few free thinkers out there maintain that it was actually named for drummer Stuart Copeland of the Police), in recent months we've uncovered the truth: Copland is actually named after Cop Land, that Sylvester Stallone movie from last year that also vanished without much of a trace. See how it all falls into place, now?

Tsk, tsk... it's becoming clearer and clearer that there is a widespread conspiracy afoot to turn the upcoming "Redmond Justice" season premiere into a non-event. The entertainment potential of the big courtroom showdown is absolutely huge, but it seems that someone is bent on preventing a media circus. (Can you believe it? Everybody loves a circus!) For one thing, both Microsoft and the Justice Department are limited to only twelve witnesses apiece, which prevents the case from dragging out into the next few seasons. But worse yet, the witness lists have been released, and the omission of mastermind Bill Gates from the festivities has left the entertainment industry reeling.

According to ComputerWorld, Bill won't testify, and of the twenty-four people who will, very few show much potential for flying sparks, courtroom outbursts, or sudden tearful confessions. A full two-thirds of Microsoft's witnesses are its own employees, including Maritz and Allchin, so there's some possibility of a slip-up or two, but for raw entertainment value we've got to look to Netscape's James Barksdale, testifying for the government. The only real surprise on the list is that the government is also calling a Boeing rep to the stand... for what purpose is anyone's guess. Boeing has indeed signed agreements with Microsoft to use Exchange Server and other software, but the real nature of the testimony won't be clear until it happens. Oooh, suspense!

The omission of Bill Gates from the witness list brings to mind that Saturday Night Live season when one of the biggest draws on the cast list was Joe Piscopo. Hopefully Jim Barksdale can carry the rest of the cast and make the trial a memorable one. And of course there's still the wildcard factor in the Boeing guy...

Well, whaddaya know-- the iMac has been available for over three weeks, now, and it's still getting good press due to heavy sales. Just take a look at the San Francisco Chronicle, which reports that iMacs are still "flying off the shelves" of stores who are selling them. They even state that Apple's managed to avoid "the marathon product shortages that have dogged it for years." Which translates, roughly, as, "Apple's managed to avoid biting itself in the ass again." Kinda makes you feel good all over, doesn't it?

The article includes some more hints as to actual numbers. ComputerWare, a Mac-only chain who's been wonderfully vocal about how many iMacs they're selling, reveals that they managed to move 1200 iMacs by the end of August-- and an average of one every thirty seconds on the August 15th launch date. Things have settled into a fairly nice balance right now: there's lots of demand, so several resellers find themselves occasionally out of stock (which shows people that iMacs are popular), but Apple's been able to crank out enough of them so that customers needn't wait more than a couple of days on the outisde.

Of course, if strong sales are to continue, Apple had better start whaling on peripherals vendors with the Hurry Stick®. The lack of available USB peripherals can't be helping iMac sales at all, especially given how attached some people are to their precious floppy disks. Heck, we ourselves are waiting impatiently for the Imation SuperDisk drive. Listen... hear that? That repetitive and insistent tapping sound? That's our collective foot.