"What happened to the Mac?" That's the question that was just foisted upon us by faithful viewer Riccardo, who finds Apple's increasing focus on music products and services somewhat disquieting. And he does have a point, you know; ever since the launch of the iTunes Music Store coincided with our return to the airwaves after eleven weeks in rehab at fat camp on hiatus last April, we've noticed that our own little drama here occasionally spends entire episodes insulting Scott Blum and pontificating on the ins and outs of Canadian music licensing issues instead of speculating endlessly about imminent additions to the Mac family. As Uncle Jessup has been heard to remark, "'tain't natural."

So it's back to the Mac buzz, albeit briefly, in part because, hey... weren't we supposed to get faster Power Macs right around now? The last pack o' rumors we had heard on the subject said something about 90-nanometer G5s running as high as 2.6 GHz making their way into that aluminum thingy with the holes and handles right around January 20th, and we can't help but notice that the date went thataway without those zippy new machines ever coming thisaway. Well, the rumor mill says to be patient, kiddies; Mac OS Rumors offers a heavily-"don't read too much into this"ed projection of "either this coming Friday or the following Monday," whereas AppleInsider cites "consecutive mumblings" (that's a new one) which hint that January 24th would be the obvious choice, what with it being the Mac's twentieth birthday and all.

Personally, we're a little ambivalent about the 24th's suitability as a possible G5 revision date. (Wait, are we? Maybe we aren't.) On the one hand, it is the Mac's twentieth birthday, so what better time to take the platform to hitherto unreached levels of performance? On the other hand, the 24th is a Saturday, which traditionally isn't a great day for a product unveiling, because there's almost no press coverage and no one cares because they're all out playing volleyball or looking at carpet samples or whatever else it is that normal people do on weekends. Oh, sure, freaks like us will care, because we're glued to our Macs every waking minute just waiting for Apple's next move, but those ball-spiking, carpet-shopping folks in the "real world" wouldn't bat an eye for a product announcement on a Saturday.

There's also the fact that speed-bumped Power Macs would be sort of... well, anticlimactic for an occasion as august as the Mac entering its third decade; it'd be kind of like the World Health Organization celebrating the cure of all known diseases with an Entenmann's cake and a two-liter bottle of Fresca. Then again, we could see it happening if the real announcement slated for the 24th is some sort of super-special Happy Birthday Mac and the G5 speed bumps just tag along for the ride. So who knows? Certainly not us, but we'll be on alert on Saturday just in case. After all, what else are we going to do, pick out a nice wall-to-wall for the rec room?

Speaking of a super-special Happy Birthday Mac, are we really supposed to believe that Apple's going to let the Mac's 20th anniversary roll by this Saturday without making some sort of big showy splash? C'mon, even Amelio managed to trundle out that crazy-lookin' Spartacus thing to celebrate Apple's 20th anniversary (albeit it a shade on the late side); surely Steve's got something at least as fun up his sleeve, and we know he has a better sense of timing. Since we never received an invitation, we can safely assume that it won't be a surprise party; must be another special edition Mac. Right?

Unless our invitation got lost in the mail. That happens sometimes. Especially with party invitations, particularly ones sent to us. Heck, it seems like hardly a Saturday goes by without two or three parties going on and those darn invites just keep getting shredded or something en route to our mailbox. Weird, isn't it? Whatever; anyway, we're sure it's a new Mac. Well, we're sort of sure. We've got a vague feeling. But it's a vague feeling bolstered by proof-- proof in the form of an unsubstantiated rumor and an anomaly in a magazine registration form! Why, we couldn't be more sure than this without actual evidence!

First off, the unsubstantiated rumor: Mac OS Rumors claims that "Apple product roadmaps" from late 2003 make reference to a "high-end G5 iMac model at 1.8 or 2.0 GHz" that uses a debigulated Power Mac motherboard, leftover 130-nanometer G5 chips, and a revamped enclosure to handle the heat. There's apparently no reference whatsoever to a release date, but the documents reportedly do make it clear that this G5 iMac is intended to be sold concurrently with existing G4-based models, so that certainly hints at the possibility of a 20th-anniversary "special edition."

Not enough for you? Then check this out: faithful viewer Jason Nieckar popped us a link to Blogintosh, which includes a very intriguing screenshot: it's a menu from Macworld Magazine's online registration form for new Mac purchasers who opt for the free three-issue courtesy subscription. Macworld asks what kind of Mac you just bought, and the menu includes "iMac G5" right at the top of the list. And while it could be a simple mistake, there are separate entries for both "iMac G4" and "iMac G3," so it's not just a simple typo. Apple has to let the magazines in on upcoming products well in advance, since most mags get their issues locked down months before they make it onto newsstands; usually Macworld is pretty good about keeping secrets, but it looks like one of Apple's web gnomes survived the Wrath of Steve and dragged his broken body down to take up a gig in Macworld's server room.

At least, that's one interpretation. We're taking Blogintosh entirely at its word, here; for all we know, the screenshot's fake. Even if it isn't, the mistake doesn't necessarily mean that there really is an iMac G5 waiting in the wings. And even if there is, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a 20th Anniversary Special Edition slated for a birthday launch this weekend. But other than that, this is fact-based corroboration of the highest order-- a veritable smoking gun. Seriously, what more proof could you possibly need?

We know, we know-- complaining about the iPod's battery life is so last year. But here's the thing about fads: sometimes it takes them a little while to travel, and that can lead to weird situations wherein one country is just getting into the swing of things while another has long since moved on. For example, we hear that the hula hoop is just now hitting it big in Sri Lanka. The hottest dance craze on Christmas Island is the Macarena. Yemen is currently all about pet rocks. And so on.

So it really doesn't come as any particular surprise that England is just now catching on to the thrill of vehement grumbling that the iPod's battery might stop holding a useful charge just a few months after its warranty expires. What does come as a bit of a shock, though, is the fact that apparently the British government is getting involved; faithful viewer Matt Gough notes that the House of Commons is getting in on the action. A Macworld UK article reports that "Labour MP for Chorley, Lindsay Hoyle," tabled a motion "calling for Apple to ensure that replacement batteries are plentiful in supply and priced at a reasonable level" because he's concerned that, what with Brits buying up so many iPods over Christmas, "when people come to buy replacement batteries they find that they cost £100 and that they have little knowledge of where such batteries can be obtained from." (We're going to ignore the grammar and sentence structure there, but deep down inside our very hearts are breaking.)

It seems that ten other MPs were swayed by troubling reports of unruly Americans vandalizing posters over the matter (oh, for the good old days when they just protested by dumping tea in the harbor and seceding from the empire), and thus signed on as well. Personally, we're entirely unfamiliar with the British system of government-- we know there's a House of Commons, a House of Lords, and some guy with a TARDIS in charge of controlling the Dalek population, but that's about as far as we get-- so we'll take Macworld's word for it that since this iPod hubbub is "an Early Day Motion," it's "unlikely that it will be debated in the commons."

Anyway, the point's largely moot, since Apple recently extended both its iPod battery replacement policy and its AppleCare Protection Plan for iPod to the UK, so iPodians can extend their coverage to a full two years for £59 (€79 for Irish 'Podders) and out-of-warranty British iPods can have a brand spankin' new battery installed for £79. Still, we found it worthy of mention that in the UK the iPod is a hot enough topic to merit attention from their system of government. It's not like you see many congressional debates about it on C-SPAN. Well, okay, if you pay attention you'll notice that half the Representatives are rockin' out with white earbuds, but it's just not the same thing.