As the Apple Turns: Scene 4027: Moment Of Silence, Please (6/20/03)

Moment Of Silence, Please (6/20/03)

MMMMPPPHHHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha haaaaa haa haa ha ha! They just... Ahee hee hee hee heh heh ha ha ha! Aha ha! Oh, man, that's... HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! (sniffle) Ha ha ha ha ha haa haaaa! Ha ha ha! Ha.

Hee hee. Heh.

Aheh.

mmmmmmppppphhhhhhHAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hee hee hee hee... HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha. Aheh. Heh.

Okay, all better now.

If you don't know what just caused us to unload a mouthful of 18-hour-old mocha all over our Cinema Display and keyboard, you need to keep your ear a little closer to the ground, because you're missing out on comedy gold, people. Faithful viewer John Duffin was the first of many, many people to inform us that the proverbial cat is out of the bag. Indeed, said cat is not only out of the bag, it also ate said bag, which means it's pretty much as out of that particular bag as it gets. Yes, kiddies, Power Mac G5 specs have been leaked, and we think you'll judge the source to be pretty reliable as far as these things go: it was Apple.

"The devil you say!" Yessirree-Bob, people; apparently if you had been so lucky as to have been cruising the Apple Store between, say, 11:30 PM and midnightish Eastern time last night, you might have noticed that the specs for the Power Mac G4 suddenly seemed a little, well, unfamiliar. Scads of screenshots flooding our inbox show the Power Mac G4's listed specs as including "1.6 GHz, 1.8 GHz, or Dual 2 GHz PowerPC G5 Processors; up to 1 GHz processor bus; up to 8 GB of DDR SDRAM; Fast Serial ATA hard drives; AGP 8x Pro; three PCI or PCI-X expansion slots; three USB 2.0 ports; one FW800, two FW400 ports; Bluetooth & AirPort Extreme ready; optical and analog audio in and out." Maybe it's just us, but that doesn't sound like any Power Mac G4 we've ever seen.

Apple has since rectified that minor inaccuracy (after apparently pulling the whole store offline in a mad panic), and the Apple Store now reports Power Mac G4 specs more in line with the universe we're used to inhabiting. But if you missed seeing the anomaly yourselves, you can visit MacRumors to check out one of many screenshots we expect to pepper the 'net over the course of the next day or so. Suddenly the question of what might be in those Big, Mysterious Boxes doesn't seem nearly as urgent, does it? We admit it, we feel a little bad for Steve. The man does like his surprises, after all, and we can't help feeling like this is going to spoil one of his great joys in life. But heck, we're sure he's got more surprises up his sleeve. If nothing else, he's got all weekend to learn how to do some card tricks.

So, basically, yeah, that's the whole story. Either someone at Apple screwed up enormously and his raggedly decapitated corpse is even now slowly cooling on a pike in Steve's office as the iCEO himself picks bits of neck vein out from between his teeth, or someone managed to compromise Apple's web servers and upload the G5 specs image as a gag. Either way, it's pretty darn embarrassing for Apple. Really, the only other possibility we can think of is that Apple leaked the image intentionally to throw us all off the track as the Stevenote rapidly approaches, and really, even we aren't paranoid enough to believe that.

(Leans forward dramatically) ...Or are we? Da da da dummmmm!

SceneLink (4027)

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The above scene was taken from the 6/20/03 episode:

June 20, 2003: Ooooo, we sure wouldn't want to be the guy who accidentally posted the Power Mac G5 specs to Apple's own online store last night. Meanwhile, we can't wait to see how a dual 2.0 GHz G5 stacks up against Intel's latest and greatest, and an excerpt from a book about the Segway offers some insight into Uncle Steve's many charms...

Other scenes from that episode:

4028: No Offense, Mr. Morita (6/20/03) Oh, yeah-- what with all the wackiness and hilarity surrounding the nature of Apple's flubtabulous leak, we kindasorta forgot to consider the implications of what actually got leaked in the first place...
4029: Portrait Of A Scary Man (6/20/03) Earlier, when we mentioned the likelihood of Steve Jobs chewing clean through the neck of the webgnome responsible for leaking the G5 specs, we suspect that a lot of you took that as a joke. You are correct; we were engaging in a literary device known as "hyperbole," or exaggeration for the sake of emphasis...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...


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