Hmmm, well, so much for our pattern recognition skills. Way back when Uncle Steve first fried the retinas of the world with the dangerously bright Key Lime iBook last September, we made it clear that, based on the images posted to Apple's web site, we had to file Apple's new radioactive hue squarely in the "Fashion Don't" category. Judging by the commentary plastered all over the 'net at the time, it seemed like virtually everyone agreed with us. But then the backlash came rolling in-- people who really liked the color started crawling out of the woodwork to fill our inboxes with pro-Key Lime diatribes. And as the mail piled up, we finally had to conclude that Key Lime was strictly a "love it or hate it" phenomenon, at least at first glance. We can't say whether or not it was a commercial success, though we can say that we've still never seen a Key Lime iBook in person. (So we'd have to guess, "no.")

So now Apple goes and unveils iMacs in new patterns dubbed "Flower Power" and "Blue Dalmatian." These, too, have all the earmarks of a lightning rod for controversy; people are going to take one glance, form a snap first impression, and stick to that opinion until they keel over dead. And just like Key Lime, when we went looking for positive commentary on the 'net, we just couldn't find any-- response to Apple's shift to floral prints and polka dots appeared to be one unanimous gasp of horror. We went ahead and made our own opinions clear (that Apple's new direction is obviously the product of some heavy drug use), donned our favorite flame-retardant pajamas, and waited for all the Flower Power and Blue Dalmatian fans lurking out there to flame us silly.

But here's the thing: compared to the blistering firestorm we suffered after publicly denigrating Key Lime, the backlash from fans of Apple's new iMac patterns was more like a mild heat wave coupled with an uncomfortably high relative humidity rating. We were expecting-- heck, we were hoping-- that dozens of Mac fans would write in to tell us that we're just fashion-challenged and that the Flower Power and Blue Dalmatian iMacs are hands-down the coolest thing that Apple's ever produced. Instead, we got a dribble of letters from people who mostly said that the new patterns "aren't as bad as we think." Not exactly the ringing endorsement we wanted. There was also a fair amount of "hey, Flower Power's actually kind of neat-- I'd never buy it myself, though" sentiment. Oh, sure, there were a couple of very vocal fans, but overall, we have to wonder if Apple's bean counters are more than a little nervous about the sales figures.

Apparently the analysts aren't too thrilled, either, and while we generally rate analyst opinions right up there on the usefulness scale with electric paperweights and edible drywall, when CNET reports that the analyst consensus is that Flower Power and Blue Dalmatian "could limit the appeal of Apple's best-selling machine," we just have to nod our heads in agreement as if they'd said "it's unwise to eat furry cheese." We really hope it doesn't come to pass, but at this point we foresee shortages of Indigo and Graphite iMacs even as warehouses are packed to the gills with Apple's "groovier" options. Don't agree? Then grab $1199-$1499, march on down to your local Apple dealer, and prove us wrong-- because this is one of those times when it doesn't pay to be right.

Alas, poor iReview; we hardly knew ye. When Apple's collection of web site reviews first debuted a little over a year ago, it was a joke; while it boasted some nifty features (such as letting iTools members append their own user reviews to Apple's official ones), only a handful of sites were represented, so it fell far short of its stated intent of being a useful one-stop resource for surfers looking for the best and worst of the web. Most importantly, it lacked a review of a certain Apple-themed soap opera, which obviously meant that its scope was sadly limited to more "mainstream" content, and therefore it deserved our constant ridicule.

Of course, six months later, that all changed-- suddenly iReview boasted hundreds of useful critiques, many of them containing wonderfully insightful commentary about their subjects, and the site earned our wholehearted endorsement. (Coincidentally, this wondrous transformation took place in July, at roughly the same time that AtAT received the coveted five-star rating from Apple's reviewers. Small world, isn't it?) Suddenly we found ourselves visiting iReview on a fairly regular basis, and not just to bask in the glow of an ever-growing collection of user-submitted five-star reviews of our own little production, here (though, okay, that was the main reason). We found that iReview really did tip us off about some very cool content out there on the 'net that we otherwise would never have discovered on our own. And we've gotten plenty of mail from AtAT viewers who tuned in for the first time after reading the iReview of our show. Eventually, Apple even sent us a little badge that linked people directly to our review, and we displayed it proudly.

Now, though, that badge has been retired. After Steve's keynote, we discovered that trying to load iReview brought up a "temporarily down for scheduled maintenance" message. No problem, we thought; after all, iTools and iCards generated the same message. We looked forward to updated versions of Apple's nifty web sites, replete with new features and a slicker, more Aqua-y look. But alas, whereas iTools eventually resurfaced sporting spiffy new threads and iCards reemerged featuring additional font support, iReview's "scheduled maintenance" page turned into this stark error instead: "Not Found-- The requested object does not exist on this server. The link you followed is either outdated, inaccurate, or the server has been instructed not to let you have it."

We'd love to believe that iReview is just taking longer than expected to update, but faithful viewer David Marcantonio noticed that the entire iReview tab is now missing from the toolbar at the top of all of Apple's web pages. We're forced to take that as Apple's tacit admission that, for whatever reason, iReview is no more-- and with it dies our one reliable source of ego-boosting praise. Now where are we going to get our regular doses of life-sustaining flattery? We've got self-esteem issues and need constant reassurance!

We all know that Steve Jobs has it in for the English, what with cancelling appearances at UK trade shows, ditching the British-localised version of the Mac OS, and slashing UK-based marketing jobs a couple of years ago. But on the flip side, we always figured that Japan was in Apple's good graces; certain Apple products (such as, say, the Strawberry iMac) really seemed targeted more at the tastes of the Japanese market than anything else, and Apple's always making a big deal about how Mac OS X is going to ship with some really superb Japanese fonts. In short, while we expect England to get kicked around every once in a while, we never expected Apple to stick Japan with the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

According to The Register, though, that's just what happened-- but don't worry, the UK got shafted just like Japan did, so at least some things never change. In fact, this time around, it appears that the entire non-U.S. world is getting some second-class hardware. Apparently Apple's new mid-range 500 MHz iMac packs a shiny, new PowerPC 750cx chip here in the States, but overseas it's only got the older PowerPC 750. The 750cx, you may recall, boasts 256 KB of on-chip cache running at the same clock speed as the processor itself, while the older 750 has 512 KB of backside cache, which runs at a much lower frequency. Oh, and that's not all-- whereas the U.S. version of the 500 MHz iMac also features a Rage 128 Ultra graphics chip with 16 MB of video RAM, the overseas version has the old Rage 128 Pro (admittedly, almost the same exact chip) but with only 8 MB of video RAM. Sounds like Apple's keeping all the newest goodies on native soil.

Whether or not these hardware differences will result in any perceivable performance gap is questionable; we'll have to wait for the benchmarks to know for sure. Still, we found it noteworthy that Apple would apparently choose to hoard newer (and probably better) parts for U.S.-bound iMacs while unloading older material overseas. Then again, there's also the distinct possibility that all the iMacs are the same and Apple's web sites just aren't showing the correct specs yet-- but where's the fun in that? We'll take the possibility of corporate nationalism run rampant over a simple typo any day of the week. Why, we can just picture Uncle Steve in red, white, and blue, waving Old Glory now...