So do you remember the last time you used a 3.5-inch floppy disk? Now, let's see, here... if we recall correctly, the last time we used any of those around here at the AtAT compound was about three years ago-- and that was just because we needed something cheap, useless, and potentially hurty to hurl at a door-to-door salesman that couldn't take a hint. For the record, AOL CD-ROMs make better drink coasters, but floppies are definitely more effective as painful but reasonably harmless projectile weapons and sales deterrents.

Anyway, what we're trying to say is that, despite a modicum of nervous fuss that arose when Uncle Steve drove a translucent blue-green stake through the floppy drive back in May of 1998, we really don't miss those pesky little things at all. There are a gazillion reasons why floppies just don't cut it anymore: they're slow, they're noisy, they're incredibly error-prone, and you'd need well over three thousand of them to store as much data as you can tote around on a single iPod. Granted, they're still a decent transport medium for relatively teensy files like word processing documents, but these days, anything small enough to cram on a floppy is petite enough to email instead-- even over a dial-up line. In short, coming up on four years later, we seriously doubt that many Mac fans are still mourning the passing of the floppy drive.

Meanwhile, over there in the Wintel camp, they're still clinging to their floppies like grim death-- but maybe not for much longer. As pointed out by faithful viewer Jeff the Meek, everyone's favorite new Mac convert David Coursey discusses how Bill Gates may soon lead the Windows crowd marching bravely into 1998. Apparently Microsoft is toying with the idea of finally eliminating that archaic storage device from its requirements for a "Designed For Windows" PC. That doesn't mean that PC manufacturers would have to go floppyless, mind you-- just that they could leave them out, save a little money, and still keep their hardware eligible for Microsoft's "Good Kowtowing" Seal of Approval.

This is just something Microsoft's kicking around, mind you, so there's no guarantee it's actually going to happen any time soon; we all know how twitchy that company gets when it comes to change. And even if Billy-boy does opt to yank the floppy from the "required equipment" list, that doesn't mean that floppy drives and their hellspawn media are going to vanish overnight. But that's good, because really, you never know when someone's going to ring your doorbell and try to sell you a really fine set of encyclopedias.

Quick, what's the most significant innovation or advance that Apple managed to squeeze into the new iMac? Is it the use of a blazingly fast G4 processor in a consumer-targeted system? The user-positionable LCD display on an articulated arm? The fact that for just $1799, "regular people" can take home a snazzy all-in-one computer that will let them create their own DVDs? Close, but no cigar. All that stuff pales in comparison to the real breakthrough in the new iMac's box: the white keyboard and mouse. Oooooo. Suddenly the traditional black-accented Pro Keyboard and Pro Mouse practically scream "Summer, 2000." How positively unfashionable.

Now, this is purely speculation on our part, but it seems to us that the odds are pretty good that, since they were only available with Apple's latest consumer desktop, someone out there was both rich and nuts enough to blow $1799 on a new iMac just to get his or her mitts on those stylish white input devices. If that describes you, we have just two questions for you. Firstly, since you just bought it for the white mouse and keyboard, can we have the rest? And secondly, don't you just feel like a total dolt for buying a whole Mac just for its mouse and keyboard now that both of those white input devices are available for $59 apiece at the Apple Store?

D'oh!! That's right, fans of the lighter shades: Apple has seen fit to offer the white versions of both the Pro Mouse and the Pro Keyboard via its online store. We haven't yet heard whether they'll also be available in retail outlets, but we wouldn't be at all surprised if they will. So there's no need to break the bank just because you like white keycaps, people; Apple's got you covered. Even if you're stuck using last year's Mac, at least you can be driving this year's mouse and keyboard. Don't worry, white goes with everything. Just one question: is it a "Fashion Don't" to use them before Memorial Day or after Labor Day?

Where's the love, people? Check it out: we always suspected that Disney's Michael Eisner was an ear or two short of a Mickey hat, but now we're totally sure of it. Faithful viewer Aaron pointed out that today's Hollywood Reporter quotes Eisner as saying that "the killer app for the computer industry is piracy," and that Apple's "Rip. Mix. Burn." ad campaign was specifically telling people "that they can create a theft if they buy this computer."

That statement, of course, probably has most right-minded individuals wondering whether Eisner has been drinking the fluid from the jar containing Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen head. Actually, though, strange as it may seem, copyright law isn't exactly crystal clear about a consumer's right to copy legally-purchased music onto another medium for personal noncommercial use. Certainly the Recording Industry Association of America claims that's it's even illegal to buy a CD and make a copy to play in the car; the Home Recording Rights Coalition says "nuh-uh" and cites the famous Betamax case as precedent that "the fair use rights of consumers include private, noncommercial home recording, such as making a tape for your car." As far as we know, this issue hasn't been definitively resolved-- but we haven't seen anyone getting hauled off to court for making mix tapes for the road.

Besides, regardless of the specific legal issues, you really have to wonder what Eisner was smoking when he publicly announced that Apple was pushing Macs as a bootlegger's tool. A sane and sober Disney CEO might have opted instead to interpret Apple's ads as selling a means for good little consumers to enjoy their legally-purchased music in perfectly innocent ways, such as burning a compilation disc full of "Music To Sharpen Pencils By." For one thing, doesn't "rip" imply that a source CD is present before the "mixing" and "burning" can commence? Maybe if Apple's commercial had said "Download. Mix. Burn." we'd be a little more sympathetic to Eisner's insane ramblings, but it didn't, so we're not. C'mon, you know Eisner's out of line when even (as faithful viewer Sledgehammer Smythe discovered) the Executive Vice President of Intel writes a letter defending Apple: "The ability to rip, mix, and burn in a protected manner is not piracy, it is simply fair use of content as permitted by law."

But most interesting of all is Eisner's brazen willingness to call Apple little more than an accessory to countless crimes, considering who happens to run that naughty little company. Perhaps Mikey was too stoned to remember that Steve Jobs also heads up Pixar, the company that's given Disney four of its best animated features over the course of the past six or seven years. Maybe it's just us, but if we were Steve, we'd be at least a tad miffed, if not downright incensed.

So we guess this means that the long-rumored Disney-Apple merger is shelved for good, right? Well, that's okay-- as it turns out, that's probably a darn good thing... even more so than usual. Faithful viewer Mastgrr informs us that a Nettavisen article states (and we're taking his word for it, here, because we don't know Norwegian) that Disney's been parading itself around for a buyout, and the only viable "interested buyer" is none other than-- Microsoft. A Microsoft-owned-Disney-owned Apple? Now that a scenario that would have us reaching for the Pepto. And possibly a shotgun. Pardon us, but now we've got to go listen to the "Aural Valium" playlists on our evil, entertainment industry-destroying iPods for a while just to unwind...