Not that we're the doom-and-gloom poster children or anything, but no one ever accused us of being "too optimistic" or "not at all jaded" either. If you want consistently shiny happy commentary, you might want to look elsewhere, because as everyone knows, in soap operas you have to take the downs with the ups. See, several viewers wrote in last week taking issue with our discussion of Stephen King's latest work, Riding The Bullet, which is currently only available in an "e-book" format that's incompatible with Macs. We were accused by some of putting too negative a slant on things, particularly in light of the fact that King himself had publicly stated his intense disapproval that Mac users were shut out of reading his story. We've been assured from all corners that the situation will be fixed shortly.

Now, we at AtAT have every confidence that yes, eventually Riding The Bullet will in fact be viewable on Macs-- but we didn't feel the need to jump the gun. Sure, we've been promised a Mac-compatible version "soon," but in our experience, the word "soon" takes on a whole new meaning when it comes to promised Mac compatibility. In these situations we've found it's best to expect little and (maybe) be pleasantly surprised. That way, those inevitable disappointments aren't so tough to bear. We're certainly glad we adopted that attitude when it came to Barnes and Noble's promised platform-independent PDF version of Riding The Bullet, because otherwise we might have felt a lot more let down right about now.

So far it turns out that Barnes and Noble's promised PDF version is Pretty Darn False. Customers who signed up to receive the PDF via email instead got a notice saying that, due to overwhelming server loads, it might be a while before the file got sent out. But as faithful viewer Jim Boulter reports, when he finally got his official link to the PDF version of King's book six days later, all he found was directions to download the same still-as-yet-Mac-incompatible e-book version offered a week ago. And Jim's no fluke; a MacAddict article reports that other customers received the same bait-and-switch. So much for promises.

And is it really that surprising? King's new book is the first big title that's only available electronically and not on paper, so we find it hard to believe that the e-book people would allow the story to be released as something as easily redistributable as a PDF file; this whole stunt is meant to sell expensive e-book devices like the Rocket e-Book Pro-- hard to do with a PDF copy of the book floating around. Now we'll promptly forget all about this mythical Mac-compatible version of Riding The Bullet, read some old Clive Barker instead (in good ol' dead tree format), and be pleasantly surprised and delighted when (if?) the powers that be release a version of King's new book that all of us can enjoy.

We really wanted to stay out of this whole Epinions brouhaha, but being compassionate souls, once we finally saw the RealVideo footage of an iMac being shot to pieces by a neckless "computer expert" with a handgun and an axe to grind, well, we can't keep silent any longer. An ambivalent "thank you" goes out to faithful viewer Mr. Nick, who forwarded us the link-- while the absolute horror of that senseless destruction will haunt our nightmares until our dying day, we can no longer shut our eyes to the fact that such atrocities are committed in this world. Those of you with sensitive constitutions are urged to exercise care in viewing the footage; while the iMac's case may be made of the same polycarbonate material used in bulletproof glass, the iMac itself is not bulletproof by any stretch of the imagination. View at your own risk.

Yes, friends, the iMac featured in this technological snuff film is systematically and brutally executed for such "crimes" as coming in different colors and having a round mouse. You have to wonder about a "computer expert" who, when talking about the lack of a floppy drive, asks, "How am I supposed to back up my files?" Here's a hint, Mongo-- shooting the thing ain't gonna do it. And yet instead of reaching for a Zip drive or a USB floppy, he reached for a handgun. It seems that this genius's original negative iMac review (if he really thinks the best-selling iMac is "Macintosh's Dying Breath," he's the best argument for intelligence-based gun-control laws we've seen to date) prompted the money hounds at Epinions to offer him the chance to shoot up a defenseless iMac for a TV commercial. However, the controversy surrounding the violent footage finally convinced the Epinions team that airing the commercial might not be a wise PR move. Faithful viewer Dan Green sent us a link to a Salon article about the whole mess.

Strangely enough, the widest opposition to airing the commercial seems to center not around the heartless destruction of an innocent iMac for the sake of higher web traffic, but rather around the trivialization of handgun violence. Go figure. For whatever the reason, we're glad that millions of TV watchers won't be subjected to severe psychological trauma associated with seeing an iMac shot full of holes. Believe us, it's worse than when Bambi's mother dies. Where's the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to iMacs when you need them?

Heads up, it's possible that Motorola isn't just standing still when it comes to PowerPC development. As you are no doubt aware, a European spokesperson for Motorola has "categorically denied" that the company is using certain clauses in the Altivec license to prevent fellow AIMster IBM from shipping faster, cheaper G4 processors. That's as may be. The fact is, Apple's Power Mac G4 only recently hit the 500 MHz barrier, while both AMD and Intel have processors running at twice that clock speed. If IBM really has 650 MHz G4 chips ready to go and Motorola's holding them back, well, it's time for someone to visit Motorola while swinging a sack full of doorknobs.

But as we said, hold off on that severe sack beating a second. You probably know that one of the biggest hurdles keeping Apple from higher clock speeds is the current G4 architecture's inherent limitations. It's the next G4 that's supposed to fix all sorts of problems, thus letting it get closer to those clock speeds we're currently seeing in the Wintel world, but originally we weren't expecting to see the "G4e" until fall. That may have changed; according to Mac OS Rumors, Motorola's got the "first fully functional G4e prototypes" off the line, and they're running as high as 700 MHz. Now, speculation's bad enough, and speculation based on rumor is about as out-there as it gets, but if all this is true, there's the slimmest chance that G4e-based Macs may debut as early as Macworld Expo this July.

As usual, though, don't hold your breath. The way these things usually go, we're not expecting G4e-based systems to appear before October or November. The only way we expect to see the G4 get past 500 MHz before then is if IBM is allowed to ship its alleged 650 MHz chip, or Motorola stops playing with cell phones long enough to eke a few more cycles out of the current architecture. Then, of course, there's also the rumored dual-G4 system Apple's got waiting in the wings...