It's March, and you know what that means: we can finally say that Mac OS X is shipping this month! Yes, Mac fans, our long, bitter struggle with seemingly ceaseless delays is finally drawing to a close. We've been dragging ourselves uphill through a dark, greased tunnel for many years, but the light is visible and it's getting brighter. Soon we'll be able to slap down $129 at the local software store, take home a boxed copy of Apple's long-awaited next-generation operating system, install it on our officially-compatible hardware, some angel somewhere will get its wings, and everyone will live happily ever after. As long as you don't need to watch a DVD.

As MacCentral reports, an Apple product manager has confirmed that Mac OS X 1.0 will not ship with DVD playback software. That means that once we upgrade our PowerBook to run Apple's Brave New OS, we're going to lose the capability to screen Chicken Run in the air between Boston and Chicago-- a practice that made our last flight a whole lot more enjoyable. Worse still, Mac OS X will probably initially ship sans iTunes and iMovie as well-- which means that "upgrading" our system will in fact temporarily eliminate our ability to run three of the applications we use most on that machine. (Looks like we'll be dual-booting for a while longer.)

The point, of course, is that those of you who are expecting a fairy tale ending to snap into place as soon as you quit the Mac OS X installer are setting yourselves up for some potentially emotionally-scarring disappointment. Surely you're aware that 1.0 applications are generally riddled with bugs, incompatibilities, unimplemented features, and the like, right? Well, what on earth makes you think that a 1.0 operating system is going to be any different? True, it's created by Apple; that's definitely a point in its favor. And it did have a lengthy public beta period during which Apple was able to work out plenty of kinks. But it's still the first official release of a new operating system, and given Murphy's Law, if the biggest problem you encounter is your inability to play the director's cut of Bring It On on your Cube, you should count yourself among the extremely lucky.

There are going to be bumps along the road. Mac OS X isn't so much a product as a process-- as most of you who have been waiting for the thing since Apple bought NeXT in 1996 are already probably well aware. It's going to take time before Mac OS X becomes the answer to the world's problems. Until then, Apple will keep plugging away at Mac OS X versions of its applications (you know Steve isn't going to ship Mac OS X iMacs this summer without iMovie and iTunes, so there's an upper bound for you), and we early adopters will pave the way for the rest of the planet. Personally, we don't mind a few inconveniences, because we know that Mac OS X is going to be something special, and we plan to stick with it as it turns into a mature system that takes the Mac community to the next level. And look on the bright side; can you imagine how many features we'd be missing if Apple had shipped Mac OS X last summer, as originally planned?

We're not entirely certain how we feel about ambivalence, but one thing's for sure: we don't mind trading in a little hair-pulling melodrama for the knowledge that Guy Kawasaki hasn't abandoned the Mac after all. While it's true that Apple's former Head Evangelist and de facto spiritual leader of the Macintosh Faithful did in fact use an IBM ThinkPad while delivering a presentation at a Big Blue shindig, and while it's also true that Guy called attention to that fact and quipped "If only Steve Jobs could see me now," it turns out that the ThinkPad in question was little more than a prop.

Faithful viewer Rohin Hattiangadi was first to note that MacCentral's revised coverage of Guy's apparent defection claims that "Kawasaki's use of a ThinkPad was apparently due to problems in getting his PowerBook to interface with the audio/visual system at the conference hall and not because he has personally switched to a Windows-based laptop." That info found its way to MacCentral courtesy of our buddy Shawn King of The Mac Show, who called Guy's people to find out what was up. So Guy's office told Shawn who told MacCentral who told Rohin who told us, and now we're telling you.

What's that? Six degrees of separation is too much to squeeze past your carefully-constructed walls of skepticism? Okay, then, let's take it down a notch; faithful viewer Hugh decided to email Guy directly and get the story straight from The Man Himself. And because Guy is such a nice... uh, Guy, Hugh got this personal response: "My use of a ThinkPad reflects the fact that IBM asked me to use an IBM product when speaking in front of 7,000 of their customers. Considering this was a paid speech, I didn't think that was unreasonable. :-) (My T4 was backstage, resting.)"

We knew he was a titanium man at heart! And apparently that story about his PowerBook not working with the A/V system was just a cover, too-- after all, what's so tough about hooking up a projector to a VGA port? It seems that IBM just didn't want the coolest-looking laptop in the world distracting its audience, especially with the Apple logo displayed prominently on its enclosure. So there you have it, people; you can take the Evangelist out of Apple, but you take the Apple away from the Evangelist when you pry it from his cold, dead fingers. (Or, uh, pay him to use something else for the duration of a speech.) We feel much better now. Carry on.

It's times like this that we at AtAT have to make some tough choices. By now most of you have already heard about the earthquake that rocked the Seattle area yesterday, which, you may well imagine, presents some unique opportunities for AtAT-style comedy due to the location of the event. So do we play it safe, express our hopes for a speedy recovery for those injured physically and/or financially by the quake, and move on? Or do we cross the line into the realm of the questionably tasteless, crack jokes that may make some people uncomfortable, and risk the disappointment of our more sensitive viewers? Decisions, decisions...

In the process of weighing our options, first we confirmed that there were no quake-related deaths and that the vast majority of the reported injuries were minor in nature. Then we investigated the extent of the property damage, which locals estimate to be in the range of a billion dollars; we'd consider that pretty devastating in most cases, but considering the vast personal wealth and outwardly charitable spending practices of a certain local resident, we think the town will probably get through it okay. And then faithful viewer (and occasional coffee-spewer) John Haytol informed us that the quake hit just as Microsoft Sweater Jockey Bill Gates was delivering a presentation on Windows XP... Well, we had to take that as a divine mandate to delve into potentially offensive material. So those of you who occasionally write censorious letters to the editor at The Onion, you may want to fast-forward to the next scene, okay? Thanks.

So, without further ado, we bring you Obvious Joke Theater. Faithful viewer Quixote was kind enough to pass along an article that appeared at, appropriately enough, MSNBC; while the story has since been updated with newer information, it originally included the following entertaining little snippet: "Screams erupted at a nearby hotel, where Microsoft founder Bill Gates was addressing an education and technology conference. He was whisked away as his audience bolted for the exists. Some audience members were knocked down by others trying to get out." To which we'd like to append: "And then the earthquake hit." Ba-dum ching! Tip your waitstaff!

But was the earthquake's timing just a coincidence, or was it actually prompted by Bill's Windows demo? When asked to comment, God reportedly issued the following statement: "Missed him by that much."

Okay, we're done. Now we feel dirty. The truth is, what happened in Seattle was serious, and even though things turned out far better than they might have, our hearts go out to the thousands of people who were affected by the quake, and we wish them all a quick return to normalcy. Curse this blasted lack of will power; we just can't resist an easy set-up. Perhaps a twelve-step program is in order?