It's times like this that we at AtAT have to make some tough choices. By now most of you have already heard about the earthquake that rocked the Seattle area yesterday, which, you may well imagine, presents some unique opportunities for AtAT-style comedy due to the location of the event. So do we play it safe, express our hopes for a speedy recovery for those injured physically and/or financially by the quake, and move on? Or do we cross the line into the realm of the questionably tasteless, crack jokes that may make some people uncomfortable, and risk the disappointment of our more sensitive viewers? Decisions, decisions...

In the process of weighing our options, first we confirmed that there were no quake-related deaths and that the vast majority of the reported injuries were minor in nature. Then we investigated the extent of the property damage, which locals estimate to be in the range of a billion dollars; we'd consider that pretty devastating in most cases, but considering the vast personal wealth and outwardly charitable spending practices of a certain local resident, we think the town will probably get through it okay. And then faithful viewer (and occasional coffee-spewer) John Haytol informed us that the quake hit just as Microsoft Sweater Jockey Bill Gates was delivering a presentation on Windows XP... Well, we had to take that as a divine mandate to delve into potentially offensive material. So those of you who occasionally write censorious letters to the editor at The Onion, you may want to fast-forward to the next scene, okay? Thanks.

So, without further ado, we bring you Obvious Joke Theater. Faithful viewer Quixote was kind enough to pass along an article that appeared at, appropriately enough, MSNBC; while the story has since been updated with newer information, it originally included the following entertaining little snippet: "Screams erupted at a nearby hotel, where Microsoft founder Bill Gates was addressing an education and technology conference. He was whisked away as his audience bolted for the exists. Some audience members were knocked down by others trying to get out." To which we'd like to append: "And then the earthquake hit." Ba-dum ching! Tip your waitstaff!

But was the earthquake's timing just a coincidence, or was it actually prompted by Bill's Windows demo? When asked to comment, God reportedly issued the following statement: "Missed him by that much."

Okay, we're done. Now we feel dirty. The truth is, what happened in Seattle was serious, and even though things turned out far better than they might have, our hearts go out to the thousands of people who were affected by the quake, and we wish them all a quick return to normalcy. Curse this blasted lack of will power; we just can't resist an easy set-up. Perhaps a twelve-step program is in order?