For those of you who just bought a new iBook, we have some good news and some better news. The good news is that you now own what is arguably the coolest, friendliest, and most useful laptop ever to grace this earth. The better news is that the rumors of a new model hitting the streets in July are completely bogus, so you won't have to feel like you're using obsolete equipment in six weeks' time. Evidently our skepticism was well-founded, because we have it on good authority that the "new iBook" that CNET and others reported based on words tumbling from the loose lips of Apple's Taiwanese manufacturing contractor is utter vapor, pure and simple.

Whose authority? Well, believe it or not, Apple's authority; according to faithful viewer Stephen White, in a rare break from long-standing policy, the company drove a stake through this rumor's heart by going on the record with MacCentral to state that "the Alpha-Top spokesperson quoted in the article was incorrect in regard to Apple's iBook plans. What he said is not true." This marks only the second or third time in recent memory that we can recall Apple officially denying a rumor; there was that time when Phil Schiller publicly denied the whole Apple handheld scenario, and also the tense moment at the Mac OS X press briefing when Steve denied that the Cube development team had been laid off. But both of those were off-the-cuff remarks made while the press was present, not prepared official statements issued by a designated "company spokesperson." This iBook denial is the real deal.

And really, it's not too hard to figure out why Apple viewed this iBook rumor as dangerous enough to warrant a public refutation: by all accounts, the new iBooks are selling extremely well, and rumors of a newer model due to hit the shelves in six weeks could easily derail its sales momentum. Imagine what would happen if even one out of ten potential customers decided to wait a couple of months for that nonexistent better model; Fred Anderson probably went fetal at the thought. Hence, Apple's official policy is evidently never to comment on rumors-- unless said rumor is really, really, bad.

Nevertheless, it's hard to believe that Alpha-Top was flat-out lying to the press about Apple's new wider-screen, different-colors iBook; it seems far likelier that the spokesperson was just clueless and/or confused about Apple's product line. Of the kajillion and twelve email messages we received on the subject, roughly a kajillion of them were from viewers who surmise that Alpha-Top was really talking about a slightly-revised PowerBook G4, which has long been rumored to gain anodized color choices this summer. The remaining dozen or so figure that the "wider screen," "choice of colors" iBook is actually the next-generation, LCD-sporting iMac we're all hoping for in July. Only time will solve that riddle, but one thing is for sure: if you're planning on buying an iBook (like, say, for the producers of your favorite online soap opera?), there's no reason to wait. Buy two; they're small.

Heads up, "early adopters"-- the word around the water cooler is that Apple's gearing up for yet another installment in its popular series of Mac OS X updates, and that said update may broadcast sometime today. According to Think Secret, if the update indeed decides to drop by, its name tag will likely read "Mac OS X 10.0.5" (10.0.4 is missing, presumed superseded) and should be relatively minor in nature: there's talk of further speed improvements, and a slim possibility of DVD movie playback, though we're not holding our collective breath. Put your Software Update panels on red alert and keep watching the skies.

We should mention, however, that we've spent the past week booted into Mac OS 9 instead. Why this heretical act? Well, simply put, just for this past week, we found ourselves needing to do things that are currently not possible in Mac OS X. Want to watch the DVDs of the cancelled Clerks animated series on the plane? You need Mac OS 9. Want to play the 1996-era version of Monopoly? Again, Mac OS 9. Want to digitize audio from an external source and edit the raw waveforms? You guessed it-- Number 9, number 9, number 9. And most importantly of all-- want to play the Playstation version of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 via Connectix Virtual Game Station? Hey, how do you say "no" in German? "NEIN!!"

What this illustrates to us is that Mac OS X still has a ways to go before it's truly ready for prime time. Still, as the Update Train just keeps chugging along, the OS is getting closer and closer to where it needs to be. Eventually (maybe even today?) we'll be able to watch DVDs without booting back into 9. Audio support can only get better, because it can't get much worse. And while we're probably never going to be able to play Playstation games under Mac OS X, at least a Carbon version of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 is almost out. In the meantime, we'll just keep making regular visits to the Startup Disk control panel...

Is it just us, or is Microsoft displaying an uncharacteristically high amount of self-awareness these days? First they come to realize that "Clippy," their automated assistant in Office for Windows, is annoying (gee, really?) and decide to shove him in the drawer for the next release; they even lampooned the irritating little git as part of the Office XP advertising campaign. And while we thought that must have just been a freak bout of lucidity, now we're starting to wonder.

See, as of two weeks ago, we had cast aside any doubt of Microsoft's fundamental cluelessness; that was due in large part to the revelation that the company was actually doling out prizes to PC manufacturers who were willing to rat out any of their customers who had the gall to try and purchase a computer without Windows loaded onto it. Seriously, if Joe Boxbuilder called Microsoft to report that XYZ corporation had just tried to order a so-called "naked" PC to use as a (shudder) Linux server, Microsoft would send Joe a free Fossil Big Tic watch. Truly this was a visionary moment for the company.

Except that now, according to faithful viewer Hes Nikke, Microsoft has publicly admitted that its "Snitch For Prizes" initiative was, well, not terribly bright. An article in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer quotes company spokesperson Matt Pilla as stating that the whole thing was "a super-brief pilot program" intended (supposedly) to remind corporate customers that their Windows site licenses didn't entitle them to install Windows on newly-purchased, unlicensed PCs. (This is evidently some strange use of the term "site license" with which we were previously unaware.)

Anyway, Pilla goes on to call the whole thing "admittedly stupid... We did it once, briefly, and ended it several weeks ago. We won't do it again." Furthermore, he admits that the whole reason Microsoft needed to remind its corporate buyers of the limitations of their site licenses in the first place was because said agreements are "very, very confusing." Please, no more of this truth and candor-- we're just not used to this kind of thing from Redmond!