Things sure have been quiet in the world of Apple lately. It seems like everybody's just waiting out the lazy days until the Next Big Thing™-- namely, Steve Jobs' keynote address at next month's Macworld Expo. That's supposedly when we'll finally get a glimpse at the mysterious consumer portable code-named "P1"; and until then, we have a feeling that very little will be going on. Personally, we at AtAT have harbored some serious concerns about a lack of dramatic material that might make the production of our little show all the more difficult. After all, people watch soap operas for a high content percentage of sex, money, betrayal, scandal, and (insert dramatic chord here) murder. Sadly, the current lull in action surrounding our favorite platform hasn't given us a lot of opportunity to give you the seedy dirt you so earnestly crave.

So thank heaven for Apple Insider, for breaking the relative silence with a rumor of Cupertino sleaze worthy of Apple's slimiest. According to them, Apple has intentionally inserted processor-checking code into the latest blue and white Power Mac G3 firmware update, rendering those systems impossible to boot if a G4 processor is installed. Those "in the know" claim that the previous firmware version has no trouble at all if a G4 is present, strongly implying that Apple is launching a pre-emptive strike against manufacturers of Macintosh upgrade cards; at least in the short term, it looks like Jobs and company might be trying to stave off upgrade fever in an attempt to get new G3 owners to buy whole new Power Mac G4s for their next big speed fix. Of course, it's also possible that the compatibility issue with the G4 is just a side effect of the new firmware's stated purpose, which was to fix a timing bug in the memory controller... Since G4 upgrades don't yet exist, this may just be an interim solution, and G4-compatible firmware may well be made available before the new processors hit the market late this year. But with Jobs at the helm, a conspiracy theory is never out of the question.

Now, we're not going to offer our technical assessment of whether or not this rumor is true, nor are we going to render moral judgment on Apple for allegedly playing dirty in an attempt to sell more boxes and get more G4 processors for themselves. Instead, we're just going to revel in the muck-- because there's so darn little of it around lately. Mmmmm, muck... It may not be a board room coup or a crime of passion, but we'll take what we can get.

As much as we like to see things shaken up every once in a while, it's nice to know that some things never change. There are three inevitabilities in this life: death, taxes, and other PC manufacturers ripping off Apple's innovations. (There's also Tater Tots, but we'll omit those for the sake of staying on topic.) Remember the recent trend in "fashion-forward" PC design? It was pretty frightening to see all these PC makers take one look at the iMac's eye-catching colors and slick design-- and then decide that the key to selling computers to the consumer market is goofy shapes and bright colors. Never mind that the iMac represents the culmination of years of design work and projects an overall vibe of "come work with me, play with me-- I won't hurt you and it'll be fun." Apple understands that when the whole computer-- hardware, software, and enclosure-- works together, you have a winner. Inviting and graceful looks naturally flow from good design. Whereas some of the copycats seem to think that a blue Aztec pyramid is the epitome of a well-designed computer.

Anyway, what brought all this up is the recent Second Wave of iMac-inspired computers. Faithful viewer Shane Burgess noted a New York Times article on new systems from Gateway and Packard Bell, which, like the iMac, strive for a reduction of clutter, a small footprint, and a simplified all-in-one design. In addition, both new offerings are integrating a flat-screen LCD display instead of a tradition CRT monitor-- which is being touted as a big innovation over the iMac's design. Uh, Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh, anybody? Also, the author neglects to mention that the iMac is a consumer system with a $1200 price point, as opposed to these flat-screen all-in-ones that cost $2000-$2500. When an all-in-one with an LCD screen is available for $1200, we'll talk. And anyway, if they're focusing on design, it's kind of rash to judge based entirely on small photographs on the web (such as those in this MacWEEK article), but these new PCs just don't seem very inspiring. They seem a little, well, blah. Style isn't everyone's priority, of course, but we think they could have made a bit more effort-- Apple's (mostly) all-in-one LCD Mac came out two years ago, and it still looks better than these. (And it had a PCI slot-- we can't tell if the PCs do or not.)

What's most interesting to us is that when others poach an Apple innovation, they often take the gist but not the details. Some PC manufacturers cranked out the same ugly, ill-designed towers as they always have, but offered translucent blue bezels to affix to the exterior-- yielding a blue ugly, ill-designed tower. Now that's progress, baby! Are we the only ones that see a parallel to Microsoft's poaching of the Mac OS's graphical interface and desktop metaphor for Windows, while ignoring the minute attention to detail, ease of use, and overall consistency of interface that made the Mac OS worth ripping off in the first place?

So far, not a whole lot has come about since the appointment of Millard Drexler to Apple's board of directors-- at least, not on the surface. Sure, it's only been a few weeks, and we'd have to be pretty optimistic to expect any visible change already, but "Mickey" Drexler is the CEO of Gap, Inc., one of the most well-known consumer brands out there-- especially if you include Banana Republic and Old Navy. So we feel justified in our optimism; if Apple's serious about becoming "the Sony of computers," bringing Drexler on board was a good way to go about it.

In fact, a MacChat has quite a few interesting suggestions about possible partnerships between Apple and the Gap. For one thing, Gap's online store is currently powered by Windows NT; might it be time to switch to Mac OS X Server and WebObjects? And how about putting iMacs into Gap stores in a kiosk-type mode, allowing customers to browse the store's complete inventory online? Functional and attractive. Better yet, what if the Gap were to sell the iMacs themselves? There probably wouldn't be any Best Buy stocking qualms, either; as Victor Rhee states in his MacChat article, "Gap is great at managing inventory of items like pocket T's in 6 colors, so why not iMacs in 6 colors,too?" You could buy some socks and an iMac to match. Actually, if the upcoming consumer portable is as student-oriented as we've been led to believe, selling those in Gap stores may not be so far-fetched; it's just another back-to-school accessory.

Just keep in mind that inclusion of its CEO on the Apple board doesn't necessarily mean that a company is going to work with or support Apple. Consider Intuit; Bill Campbell was on Apple's board when his company decided to cease Mac development of Quicken. (That decision has since been reversed, but you get our drift.) And despite Larry Ellison's being on the board and enjoying best-friend status with Steve Jobs, Oracle still isn't particularly Mac-friendly. Nevertheless, we love the idea of fruit-flavored iMacs being used and/or sold in Gap stores everywhere; we'll add it to our list of favorite pipe dreams.