Finally, Some Dirt (6/17/99)
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Things sure have been quiet in the world of Apple lately. It seems like everybody's just waiting out the lazy days until the Next Big Thing™-- namely, Steve Jobs' keynote address at next month's Macworld Expo. That's supposedly when we'll finally get a glimpse at the mysterious consumer portable code-named "P1"; and until then, we have a feeling that very little will be going on. Personally, we at AtAT have harbored some serious concerns about a lack of dramatic material that might make the production of our little show all the more difficult. After all, people watch soap operas for a high content percentage of sex, money, betrayal, scandal, and (insert dramatic chord here) murder. Sadly, the current lull in action surrounding our favorite platform hasn't given us a lot of opportunity to give you the seedy dirt you so earnestly crave.

So thank heaven for Apple Insider, for breaking the relative silence with a rumor of Cupertino sleaze worthy of Apple's slimiest. According to them, Apple has intentionally inserted processor-checking code into the latest blue and white Power Mac G3 firmware update, rendering those systems impossible to boot if a G4 processor is installed. Those "in the know" claim that the previous firmware version has no trouble at all if a G4 is present, strongly implying that Apple is launching a pre-emptive strike against manufacturers of Macintosh upgrade cards; at least in the short term, it looks like Jobs and company might be trying to stave off upgrade fever in an attempt to get new G3 owners to buy whole new Power Mac G4s for their next big speed fix. Of course, it's also possible that the compatibility issue with the G4 is just a side effect of the new firmware's stated purpose, which was to fix a timing bug in the memory controller... Since G4 upgrades don't yet exist, this may just be an interim solution, and G4-compatible firmware may well be made available before the new processors hit the market late this year. But with Jobs at the helm, a conspiracy theory is never out of the question.

Now, we're not going to offer our technical assessment of whether or not this rumor is true, nor are we going to render moral judgment on Apple for allegedly playing dirty in an attempt to sell more boxes and get more G4 processors for themselves. Instead, we're just going to revel in the muck-- because there's so darn little of it around lately. Mmmmm, muck... It may not be a board room coup or a crime of passion, but we'll take what we can get.

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 6/17/99 episode:

June 17, 1999: Is Apple playing dirty by disabling G4 upgrades in current G3 Power Macs? Meanwhile, PC manufacturers continue to jump on the iMac bandwagon, this time by offering all-in-one space-saving systems, and while we haven't yet seen much come of the appointment of Mickey Drexler (of Gap, Inc. fame) to Apple's board, there are some really interesting possibilities to consider...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 1610: What Comes After (6/17/99)   As much as we like to see things shaken up every once in a while, it's nice to know that some things never change. There are three inevitabilities in this life: death, taxes, and other PC manufacturers ripping off Apple's innovations...

  • 1611: More Mall Visibility (6/17/99)   So far, not a whole lot has come about since the appointment of Millard Drexler to Apple's board of directors-- at least, not on the surface. Sure, it's only been a few weeks, and we'd have to be pretty optimistic to expect any visible change already, but "Mickey" Drexler is the CEO of Gap, Inc., one of the most well-known consumer brands out there-- especially if you include Banana Republic and Old Navy...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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