Ah, the week after Expo-- that placid time when all the real news has been used up and so the press is full of "analysis and reaction." And AtAT's no different, because there's plenty to analyze and react to. Heck, the iBook alone has generated enough gushing praise, bitter vitriol, and ensuing verbal debate to provide time-killing reading for bored Mac fanatics the world over. Some people love the $1599 price tag, and others hate it. One segment of the market doesn't mind the lack of PC card slots, while another claims its the iBook's death knell. But no aspect of the iBook is generating as much strife and angst as its decidedly "different" style and coloring; will sweeping curves in Tangerine and Blueberry attract buyers or repel them?

That's right, repel them-- especially potential buyers of the male gender. See, fruit flavors are one thing when they're tucked away safely inside one's house, but laptops are taken out in public, and that's where the trouble might start. Faithful viewer T.S. Roach makes a valid point: "Do I really want to be seen carrying one of those in public?" Certain men are going to have a problem with toting around a bright orange or blue laptop, especially one that looks a bit like a purse when you hold it by the handle. Keep in mind, there are guys out there that won't even wear pink shirts, even if you screen football team logos all over it. It's a macho thing, and whether or not it's going to make any kind of a serious dent in the iBook's sales numbers remains to be seen-- but there are definitely people out there who would buy an iBook if only it came in "manlier" colors. Here's hoping that those people have the extra $900 for a PowerBook instead...

Remember, there are rumors of a "business iBook" swirling around out there; the last time we heard it, it claimed that a couple of months after the consumer iBook hits the shelves, Apple will release a slightly more expensive model in corporate-friendly (and "manlier") translucent grey plastics with a faster processor, and maybe FireWire built in. Whether or not that comes to pass, though, we have a strong suspicion that the $1599 consumer iBook will retain its fruit-flavored flash. And personally, we predict that its decidedly "out there" appearance will rack up many, many, many more sales than it'll scare off. We, personally, would have zero problem using an iBook in public-- but then again, we wouldn't have any serious reservations about bringing one into a business meeting, either. But that's just us, and we do think it's a shame that some people would love to shell out the cash for the iBook's functionality if they could just leave the "style" on the shelf.

You know, we never brought up the little Noah Wyle stunt that Apple pulled off at the keynote, because in the swirl of so much other information, it just kind of got lost in the shuffle. For those of you who have no idea what we're talking about, a Reuters article has a decent summary, but you'd be much better off watching the event yourself via the magic of QuickTime 4 video-on-demand. Here's the skinny: at the beginning of the keynote, "Steve Jobs" walked out on stage and started the usual feel-good spiel, but "Steve Jobs" was actually ER's Noah Wyle, who, as you are undoubtedly aware, played The Mercurial Mr. Jobs in TNT's made-for-cable movie, "Pirates of Silicon Valley." Shortly after, the real Steve walked on stage to interrupt Mr. Wyle and chide him for inaccuracies in his "Steveness," namely the omission of bottled water from his act. It was a nice moment, and it showed Steve Jobs has a sense of humor; in fact, not only did he watch "Pirates," but he was also the one who personally asked Noah Wyle to join him on stage at the Expo. And he even took Noah's departing question-- "Are you a virgin?"-- in stride.

Now, one of the reasons we bring this up almost a week after it happened is because we're still hearing about the stunt, and the accuracy of some reports leaves something to be desired. On the radio we heard it reported that the entire keynote audience was completely fooled by Noah's performance and expressed dumbfounded surprise when the real Steve walked out. Not quite, folks; Wyle's good, but he ain't that good. The AtAT staff, at least, recognized him from the get-go; the voice wasn't quite right, and even at a distance it was clear the speaker was too young to be Jobs. (In fact, Katie, AtAT's resident fact-checker and Goddess of Minutiae, actually posited that Noah Wyle might show up for the keynote several weeks before it really happened, displaying a level of either perspicacity or psychic ability that's bordering on spooky.) And very soon after Wyle appeared, his magnified image was projected on three giant screens, complete with a caption that identified him as "Noah Wylie" (sic) for those who hadn't yet gotten the joke. By the time the real Steve finally walked out, the only people who didn't realize that it was Wyle on stage were just not paying any attention.

So we're just setting the record straight; it was a cute way to kick off a memorable keynote, but the idea that everyone was taken in by the act and awestruck at the presence of two Steves, well, that's an embellishment. By the way, we noticed that "Pirates," undoubtedly the most entertaining techno-soap drama of the year (barring our own little show, of course), has racked up five Emmy award nominations: Best Casting for a Miniseries or Movie (they'd better win that one!), Best Single-Camera Picture Editing for a Miniseries or Movie, Best Sound Mixing for a Miniseries or Movie, Best Writing for a Miniseries or Movie, and the biggie-- Best Movie. Congratulations to everyone involved, and we'll keep our fingers crossed for you.

Uh-oh-- where's the love, Bill? If there are any viewers out there who actually felt that the Apple-Microsoft "truce" of August 1997 would really bring a new era of cooperation and peace to one of world's greatest on-again-off-again mortal struggles, we've got some friendly advice for you: don't buy any bridges, and be very wary of anyone who tries to sell you real estate in Florida. Sure, Microsoft invested $150 million in special non-voting Apple stock and committed to continuing the development of a Mac version of Office, but that doesn't mean it's all hugs and goofy smiles between Cupertino and Redmond. But you could have guessed that from Apple's testimony against Microsoft in the "Redmond Justice" antitrust trial...

So it shouldn't come as any big surprise when Bill Gates takes the occasional swipe at Apple, as he recently did at last week's financial analyst gathering hosted by Microsoft. A CNET article quotes Bill as having said, "The one thing Apple's providing now is leadership in colors. It won't take long for us to catch up with that, I don't think." Color? Color us amused, because those sound like the words of a worried billionaire. So what's getting on his nerves? Could it be the fact that the number one selling retail computer in June (the iMac, of course) doesn't run Windows? Aw, shucks. In fact, we find it interesting that Bill's even openly admitting that Apple is a Microsoft competitor, since it was such a crux of Microsoft's antitrust defense-- specifically, the testimony of economist Richard Schmalensee ("SCHMALENSEE!!")-- that there is no "operating system market" in which they could possibly hold a monopoly.

But we digress. (Like that's new...) The heart of the matter is this: what, exactly, does Bill plan to do in order to leapfrog Apple's "color leadership," given that Microsoft doesn't even make computers? Ponder no more, Grasshopper, for longtime faithful viewer David Puett has the answer: "No longer will Microsoft's NT offer only a 'Blue screen of Death (BSOD)'. Microsoft will now offer the 'Screen of Death' in 5 colors." Oh, sure, you may laugh now, but that's a solid Microsoftian plan if ever I've heard one. Then, once the color gap is closed, perhaps Microsoft can focus on the gaps that Bill doesn't want to acknowledge in public-- like ease of use, streaming video quality, and all that other inconsequential stuff.