Geez, give someone an aircraft or two and they never let you live it down. It's been a month and a half since Apple's Board of Directors presented Steve with the gift that keeps on giving-- a Gulfstream V jet-- and that teensy token of appreciation is still making headlines. If they had just tossed the guy a wad of cash instead, no one would have even blinked, but they asked themselves what they could get for the Steve that has everything, came up with a prezzie that's both practical and attractive, and suddenly the whole world's in a tizzy over Steve's new jet. C'mon, folks, it's not like they gave him an island, or a small country, or anything.

Apparently the latest controversy concerning the Jobs jet involves Apple's classification of the $90 million it spent to buy the thing and soften Steve's tax blow. Apple listed that sizeable chunk of change as a "non-recurring expense." That sounds about right to us, unless the Board plans to add to Steve's personal air force every time a Macworld Expo rolls around; sure, that'd speed up Steve's plans for world domination, but frankly, we just don't see the Board frittering away Apple's cash on regular jet bonuses for the iCEO. The thing is, though, from an accounting standpoint, employee bonuses are typically classified as compensation-- a "recurring" event. So according to the San Jose Mercury News, the question on the lips of analysts everywhere is this: did Apple misclassify the jet in a deliberate attempt to beat the Street when the quarterly results were announced? If the jet had been listed as a recurring expense, Apple would have reported only an $88 million profit last quarter-- well below the analyst consensus. It's even possible that the Board allocated $90 million as a bonus for Steve and then went shopping for something to spend it on, with the express goal of being able to list that money as a non-recurring event.

So is the jet recurring or non-recurring? The debate rages on. At least some analysts think that Apple was perfectly justified in how it listed the expense, provided that Apple doesn't make a habit of throwing big, extravagant gifts at Steve on a regular basis. Says Lou Mazzuchelli of Gerard Klauer Mattison & Co., "They won't be doing this again. How would you top it? Give him an island? A small country?" Er... Hmm. Maybe we'll reserve judgment until we see what next January brings...

So much for Apple's chance to be the first on the block with a color Palm OS device. As long expected, Palm finally unveiled the Palm IIIc, their premiere color handheld device. People who've been following the saga knew about the planned February introduction many moons ago, but there were those of us who held out hope that Apple's lab gnomes would still get their alleged Palm device out the door first. Alas, it was not to be.

For what it's worth, Palm's offering looks pretty cool. For $449, you get a slightly bigger, slighter heavier Palm III with "a vivid, clear color display." Whether or not that color LCD panel is worth the extra couple of hundred bucks it'll cost you depends entirely on how badly you need to "play backgammon in shades of green, pink, and brown"-- wow, the Mercury News description just makes you want to rush out and buy one, doesn't it? But Chroma Gammon is just one of four color applications shipping on the Palm IIIc. You also get a color calculator, which is a critical addition; one big tradeoff with the IIIc is that you only get about five hours' worth of battery life, so being able to calculate compound interest in mauve and lemon is an absolutely crucial compensation.

Seriously, though, the last two color apps are more intriguing. Album To Go lets you throw color JPEG images right on your Palm, so you can bore people with photos of your cats digitally instead of having to open your wallet. Meanwhile, a new version of AvantGo lets you browse web content offline in full color, which is, of course, vital if Internet porn is ever going to make it big in the PDA world. And you can also add on a Kodak PalmPix digital camera (when it ships) and take new photos of your cats and your own lascivious acts (separately, one would hope).

What does all this mean for Apple's PDA? Not much, actually, other than virtually guaranteeing that if it ever sees the light of day, it'll be a color device. We can only hope that by then the stable of color Palm OS applications extends beyond the current realm of board games, calculators, pet photos, and downloadable porn. But then again, what else is there?

Finally! "Redmond Justice" vaults back into action, as Microsoft's legal team and the government lawyers take a break from their interminable off-camera settlement negotiations to trudge back into court one last time. On Tuesday, both sides will make their final oral arguments to Judge Jackson, before that stalwart champion of justice issues his verdict. If there was ever a "home stretch" in this marathon case, this would appear to be it-- and things still aren't looking good for Microsoft's legal team, known to insiders as "the punching bags." Remembers, Jackson's findings of fact ripped their arguments to shreds, and yet word has it that settlement talks are still going nowhere.

Of course, when you consider what would happen if Microsoft loses, perhaps it's not all that hard to understand why they haven't settled despite overwhelming odds. As a Nando Media article puts it, an actual verdict of any kind (instead of a settlement) would result in "an agonizingly slow appeals battle that could wind through the federal courts for years longer." Catching on yet? There's no such thing as bad publicity, and we figure that Microsoft's developed a taste for the limelight. If the company loses, the glacial appeals process will guarantee that "Redmond Justice" will run for many more years to come, whereas a settlement would result in one big media blitz, followed by dead air. If you were the star of a hit courtroom drama, which fate would you prefer?

Jackson, meanwhile, wants out, but nothing he can do seems to spur the two parties any closer to an agreement. You recall how he assigned Judge Posner to mediate the settlement talks? Well, Jackson declared that he was willing to postpone Tuesday's arguments if Posner "seems to think that more time is needed." Nope; apparently talks are at enough of a standstill that extra time isn't going to do any good, much to Jackson's chagrin. So the final arguments will proceed as planned, and eventually Jackson's going to have to issue a verdict. Then get ready for the spin-off: "Redmond Justice: The Appeal."