Espionage, indeed. If nothing else, that title certainly may explain how a rather high-quality QuickTime version of an otherwise never-before-seen Apple television commercial suddenly surfaced at AdCritic.com bearing the appropriate title of "Espionage," as first pointed out by faithful viewer Charles Gaba. Being the TV junkies that we are (we're working on a combination time dilation and caffeine delivery system to allow us to watch twenty-six hours a day), we at AtAT think we can safely say that this commercial has never graced the airwaves with its mysterious presence, and it certainly isn't available for download from Apple's site. So where did this oddball ad come from?

If you haven't seen it, "Espionage" is a sixty-second clip depicting a late-night arms deal in a foggy warehouse. A briefcase of money is exchanged for a set of keys to a van, when suddenly the cops show up to raid the place. A Kevlar-wearing police agent crowbars open a crate in the back of the van: "Hey, detective, is that a...?" "That's one of them supercomputers," the detective responds, as he gazes at the Graphite-and-Ice curves of the Power Mac G4 nestled in the crate. Stylistically, the ad seems like a car commercial, and there's more than a hint of "Matrix Chic" in effect-- the black-clad, short-haired brunette in shades, the sudden transitions between slo-mo and fast-forward, etc. Unsurprisingly, the brunette manages to drive off with the G4 by posing as a cop, and Apple's logo and the slogan "Think Different" spin against an all-black background.

So is this a legit Apple commercial that was never released, smuggled out of Cupertino in the back of a black van? Could be, but the evidence against such a scenario is pretty weighty. First of all, it's completely inconsistent with every other Apple commercial released in the past two years. (Black backgrounds? Never heard of such a thing.) For another thing, as faithful viewer Justin Reese noticed, the font used for the "Think Different" tag looks different: "the Apple Garamond looks a bit offish, all in all a bit fishy." And if you look at the listed credits for the piece, the director is one "James Doh." Real name? You decide; at least his first name isn't John. Personally, we're assuming that someone outside of Apple's ad agency crafted this quizzical little gem entirely on his or her own. In fact, we wouldn't be completely surprised to hear that this is a real commercial for a different product and that some enterprising young pixel-pusher did a great job of editing in the image of a G4 and dubbing a new voice track-- but that would be a pretty impressive feat. Then again, if the perpetrator used a G4 to pull it off, well, suddenly that possibility seems less unlikely, doesn't it?

Update: eagle-eyed faithful viewer Ivan Hooker notes that Apple never capitalizes the "d" in "Think different." So "Espionage" may be cool, but it's definitely not a real Apple commercial. Faithful viewer Eric Samsel notes the presence of a couple more (non-Apple) commercials at http://www.karlicious.com/. If Karl Larsen (the guy who made these) and friends aren't making commercials professionally, they should be...

You know, it's not totally inconceivable that the "Espionage" G4 commercial that popped up so mysteriously at AdCritic.com is actually part of a new look and feel for Apple commercials. Most of Apple's ads in recent years have been targeted squarely at consumers, with a high concentration of brightly-colored iMacs and iBooks whimsically dancing across unthreatening white backgrounds. That's all well and good when you're trying to attract first-time buyers who want a computer that's friendly enough to help them through their technophobia. But what about the professional users? The Power Mac G4 is user-friendly, sure, but that's probably not the right tack to take when trying to woo those high-end graphics professionals who crave speed, power, and style-- not round candy-colored style, but Graphite and silver, futuristic, this-thing-isn't-just-a-computer,-it's-a-weapon style. So why not make a commercial with a darker edge for the pros? And the hardcore gamers, for that matter? An iMac is great for people who want to play Bugdom, but the Quake-heads want a box that clearly says it's an implement of mayhem.

The reason we're going on about this is because AppleInsider's back from its month-long hiatus, and brings us more rumors of Apple's long-awaited multiprocessor line of G4 systems. Apparently Apple's supply problem with 500 MHz G4 chips has abated quite a bit, because now it looks like we'll soon see not only dual-processor G4s, but also quad-processor systems, each using the current top-of-the-line 500 MHz chips. Yes, if AppleInsider is correct, then when the new systems touch down at WWDC in two weeks, you'll be able to order up a box powered by a whopping 2000 MHz of blistering G4 speed. That's the kind of power you can use to obliterate the competition-- whether that competition is the graphic design firm down the street whose best client you just stole with your breathtaking turnaround time, or LORD_SKULLHED whose virtual corporeal form you just deftly turned into dog food via the liberal application of a few rockets.

So "faster" G4s are on the way-- they're sleek, they're stylish, and they're deadly, and Apple's going to need a commercial that gets that point across. Of course, that still doesn't mean that "Espionage" is a real Apple commercial that was leaked before its first scheduled airing; for one thing, you'd expect the ad to mention the new multiprocessor option, at least in passing. No, what we're really saying is that Apple should seriously consider an ad campaign along the darker stylistic lines of "Espionage." The iMac and iBook should appear unthreatening, but the PowerBooks and the new G4s should be made to look downright dangerous.

Okay, lots of you (faithful viewer Renaldo Nehemiah having been the first) are writing in about how Palm was next on Microsoft's infamous hit list. If you haven't heard, in the government's filing last Friday calling for Microsoft's breakup, the Justice Department noted that, less than a month after the "Redmond Justice" trial ended, Bill Gates sent email to his staff "directing that Microsoft redesign its software to harm competitors" who make PDAs. A Reuters story has the skinny on this latest brouhaha.

Now, really, is anyone surprised by this? We're actually rather taken aback by some of the outrage we've seen over this issue. After all, we've seen this time and time again; Microsoft employees seem to have a penchant for using email to discuss the "removal" of their competitors. It was through email that we learned of Microsoft's plot to force Netscape out of the browser market by tying Internet Explorer to Windows. It was through email that we saw the real face of former Microsoft Mac guy Ben Waldman, who suggested that the company threaten to cancel Office for the Mac unless Apple adopted Internet Explorer as its operating system's default web browser. So why is everyone in a tizzy about these alleged plans to hurt Palm? Is it just because Microsoft still hasn't learned to keep sensitive plans for world domination out of its email? It's like some kind of bizarre sickness or something.

For what it's worth, we don't even get to read what exactly Bill asked for in this latest scandal. According to Reuters, "'after discussing the Palm computing platform, Mr. Gates concluded in his email,' starts one tantalizing sentence-- and abruptly it ends. At that point, Gates' comments were censored." But according to Microsoft spokesman Jim Cullinan, Bill's missive was strictly benign, simply discussing how to make Windows CE (now Pocket PC) better than the Palm: "What [the email] talks about is how our PDA will connect with Office, which has Outlook Express and Outlook included in it." Since we can't judge for ourselves, we'll just have to take Jim's word for it. Or we would, if we could parse his infinite strings of negatives: "Does the Palm product not work in terms of not syncing up with any Microsoft product? No." Hey Jim; does Microsoft not have no chance not to avoid never getting split up?