TV-PGDecember 17, 1997: (Sorry—this was before we started writing intro text for each episode!)
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 
DoJ Fights Back (12/17/97)
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Not that anyone didn't expect it, but the Department of Justice is fighting Microsoft's current "compliance" with Judge Jackson's temporary injunction. As you saw in yesterday's episode, Microsoft's idea of not forcing vendors to ship IE on Windows 95 systems consists of giving them the additional "choices" of shipping either a non-bootable system, or one running a two-year-old OS with more bugs than a Watergate hotel room. Which amounts, of course, to the "I'm not touching her" defense, back when your mom threatened to whup you if you didn't stop bothering your kid sister; putting your fingers within half an inch of her face was technically compliant, but it most likely got you smacked anyway. It's that "letter but not spirit of the law" thing.

So, Techweb's got the details on the DoJ's latest volley in the ongoing battle, which involves filing papers in U.S. District Court claiming that Microsoft's strategy does not meet the terms of Jackson's injunction. This is the equivalent of your kid sister telling your mom that you're still bugging her. Its success or failure depended largely on how tired and/or edgy your mother was feeling just then-- a backfire scenario was always a risk, in which Mom told your sister to shut up and stop bothering her, or she'd turn the car around and take you both home right now. It'll be interesting to see what "Mom" Jackson's reaction will be.

The DoJ is asking for the judge to hold Microsoft in civil contempt for their "flagrant disregard of this court's lawful authority." There's still a chance that the much-hyped $1 million-a-day fine may still be imposed, if Jackson is capable of seeing through Microsoft's obvious flouting of his orders.

 
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What Pulled the Plug (12/17/97)
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Okay, okay, we know we're beating a long-dead horse here, but we've got to address the November 10th announcement one last time. You all still remember, we're sure, that Apple originally planned for the circus to last for two and a half hours, when in fact it lasted only sixty minutes. Everyone expected the unveiling of some kind of deal with Oracle, but none came. Since then, we (and many others) have been certain that something fell through at the last minute and just couldn't be announced. Well, finally, MacOS Rumors has what they claim is the real story.

Apparently what happened was incredibly simple: Oracle planned a large investment in Apple for NC development, and everything was rosy. But then Oracle noticed the numbers for their current financial quarter weren't nearly as good as they originally thought. To avoid a total slaughter in the stock market, they canceled the announcement at the last minute. (Oracle's stock plunged some 30% once the figures were made public; how much worse might it have been if they had also announced an investment in Apple?)

Nothing spectacular. But we feel better with this issue finally settled. (Mostly.) Props to Steve for salvaging the presentation with a rousing and entertaining sixty minutes-- apparently he may have heard of the Oracle pullout only hours before the announcement was to be made. The man's a great ad-libber.

 
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Giving me a SEIZURE!! (12/17/97)
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And in the "Unrelated But Too Goofy Not To Mention" file today, how 'bout that Japanese cartoon that sent some 560 viewers into convulsions while watching it? That's right-- a slew of folks who tuned into a particular episode of "Pocket Monster" apparently wound up writhing on their sitting-room floors with their eyes rolling back in their heads. Bloomberg News has the scoop (and thanx to faithful viewer Zach Leber for the heads up).

"Pocket Monster" the cartoon is based on "Pocket Monster" the Nintendo video game, but this "interesting" side effect hasn't been linked to the game. People are suggesting that the convulsions are triggered by sudden or flashing lights present only in the television broadcast. And here we were feeling sorry for ourselves because prolonged sessions of Quake or Marathon leave us feeling a trifle woozy and lightheaded...

Just think: a television show that causes mass convulsions, even to the point of hospitalization. And it wasn't either Barney or Full House! What'll they think of next?

 
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