Finally, Apple knows just what to do with all of those unsold Cubes moldering in dusty warehouses; a slew of them will be shot into space, and the rest are going into goofy-looking automobiles. Don't believe us? Then maybe you'll believe Macworld, who, as faithful viewer Robert Fernando pointed out, reports that Nissan has used Cubes in its Chappo, a "concept car" whose engendering concept was allegedly "a living room on wheels." Looking at the thing, however, we strongly suspect that the real concept behind it was "hey, let's make a car that looks kinda like one of those PlaySkool toys... and we can stick a COMPUTER in it!! (Dude, don't bogart that-- pass it this way...)"

The Chappo (evidently named after the legendary sixth Marx Brother) is currently on display at the Geneva Motor Show and boasts not one, but two G4 Cubes that power the vehicle's various domestic-style features-- features like "built-in entertainment, video-game controls, electronic monitoring, computer-adjustable seats, and more." This isn't just a car, folks; it's "an extension of the driver's 'social gathering space.'" As in, "Hey, everybody, what say we move this party out into the Chappo and really get things cookin'? We can play Quake 3 and watch Armageddon!"

Those of you who are drooling at the prospect of being able to play first-person shooters on a vehicularly-integrated Mac (Pathintosh, anyone?) while driving to work, cool your jets. According to the QuickTime video available about the Chappo (both 56K and T1 versions, each of which boasts "Infotainment Powered By Apple"), one Cube powers a nice, big 1024x768 screen for games, movies, and the like while the vehicle is stationary and in "living room" mode. The other runs a 640x480 display for the driver, which has "limited functionality, because of course you can't watch a DVD while you're driving." Waitaminnit, says who?! Sounds like someone just issued us a personal challenge!

Anyway, as we mentioned before, the Chappo is a "concept vehicle," which is industryspeak for "we only built one of these things, because no one would ever actually buy it." So Apple doesn't have a new outlet for Cubes after all-- at least, not until hordes of consumers demand that Nissan produce the Chappo as a mass-market product. Which ought to be happening any minute now...

Ah, Mac OS Rumors; where would we be without you? For those of you who don't keep apace with the granddaddy of all Apple rumors sites, you should be aware that the dirt is getting shovelled fast and furious these days. We'll let you folks decide how you want to tackle the intriguing prospects of Apple's allegedly imminent push into the home automation game, or this risky business about a flat-panel LCD iMac that's supposedly going to debut next year for the low, low price of $499. What we focused in on instead was the stuff about Apple's real-soon-now retail stores.

And in fact, we didn't even home in on the goods that has everyone else buzzing-- namely, Blue Herring's QuickTime footage of the construction of Apple's flagship store in downtown Palo Alto. Truth be told, Blue Herring emailed us about his candid videowork quite a while ago and we just never got around to squeezing it into an episode. (That's strange, when you think about it, since blurry, overcompressed secret footage that's so shaky it makes The Blair Witch Project look like it was shot with a Steadicam is, frankly, right up our conspiracy theory-riddled alley.)

No, the tidbit that grabbed our wandering attention and held it for a record-breaking thirteen seconds was this: "the reader... noted hearing something about an 'iPad pavilion.'" An iPad? You know what this means, don't you? The glorious resurrection of the venerable Apple PDA rumor! That's right; the can of worms is open once again for your squirming pleasure, kiddies. Ever since Steve nuked the Newton over three years ago and stated that Apple would return to serve the "affordable mobile computing" market in 1999, people like us have dreamed of a new Apple PDA. Of course, 1999's return to "affordable mobile computing" turned out to be the iBook-- not exactly something you want to throw in a coat pocket.

Of course, the rumors of a new Apple-branded PDA have survived on a thin stew of faint clues and hearsay for three years, now, and so this latest "iPad" development is really just par for the course. It's a single third-hand unsubstantiated report of an alleged overheard conversation, sure, but that's more than enough to get people whispering about Apple's imminent and triumphant return to the PDA market it created. Color us convinced. iPad, here we come!

Ah, the age-old scuffle we lovingly refer to as "Slot Wars"; Apple ships fewer PCI slots to keep costs down and margins up, while a tiny but important (and very, very vocal) minority screams for more expansion room. See, back in the day, Apple sold Macs with the 9xxx chassis, which boasted a respectable six slots. But then, with the advent of the original beige Power Mac G3, suddenly professional users found themselves cut to a measly three-slot allowance. Pop in a high-performance video card, add a professional video-capture card, snap in an Ultra SCSI interface, and one question rears its ugly head: "Now where do I stick this second video card?"

By ignoring the cries for more slots for all those years, Apple told its pro users exactly where to stick that second video card, though not in so many words. But things have been slowly getting better over time; the first AGP Power Macs had respectable video cards in their AGP slots, thus leaving all three PCI slots open for use. And Apple's latest Power Mac G4 systems actually boast an AGP slot and four PCI slots, which alleviates even more of the pressure. But even four slots aren't enough for demanding users in certain fields. They've got cards galore, and they need someplace to jam them.

Cue another hoary old rumor to rise from the dead! Faithful viewers Johnny and CodeBitch wrote us from MacEdition to inform us that the Naked Mole Rat has finally emerged from hibernation. Strange things came to him in his dreams-- including a vision of "Thing 2," an "Apple-branded expansion chassis aimed at opening up the options available to owners of PowerBook G4 laptop and Power Mac G4 systems." Dare we assume that "Thing 2" is Apple's long-awaited external six-slot PCI expansion chassis we've all been hearing about since the Rat's previous incarnation as a certain edged implement who dished dirt at a certain now-defunct periodical? If so, come this summer, pro users may indeed soon have slots coming out of their ears, so to speak-- and if PowerBook users will also be able to share in the wealth, well, the more the merrier.