Despite the widespread sentiment that Mac OS X still isn't quite ready for prime time (an assessment that we judge to be pretty darn valid, incidentally), we're still having a blast with our copy. Maybe it's just our natural unbridled pessimism, but we're always genuinely thrilled when we discover a hitherto unknown feature-- like the fact that we can actually print via AppleTalk to our ancient and hulking LaserWriter II. Sure, we've always been able to do that in the "classic" Mac OS, but seeing the words "Just Testing" come cranking out of that clunky old beast in 72-point Zapfino really put a song in our hearts.

Still, like we said, this operating system has its share of warts. While it's miles ahead of the public beta, it's still sorely lagging behind Mac OS 9.x in terms of features, drivers, software support, interoperability, and-- dare we say it?-- performance. Yeah, that's right, we said it, and we'll say it again. Performance. Mac OS X is slower than Mac OS 9.

Now, before the snipers line up their head shots and turn our squishy insides into squishy outsides, allow us to clarify: Mac OS X may be a speed demon at heart, but something about 10.0 feels downright sluggish on our 400 MHz Pismo. Maybe we're just overly demanding or charmingly retro, but we still harbor the delusion that nothing should feel sluggish on a 400 MHz G3. Nonetheless, the Genie Effect stutters, menus take their own sweet time to appear after we click, QuickTime performance is far less than perfect, iTunes can skip and its Visuals top out at about 7 frames per second, we spend way too much time staring at that damn spinning rainbow cursor, and everything just feels like it's covered in molasses. Lickable, indeed.

Is it just a temporary lack of hardware graphics acceleration in all but Apple's newest hardware, as faithful viewer John Franklin surmises? Maybe, but our distinct hope is that the slowdowns are primarily due to the presence of a ton of debugging code still present in the developmental 4K78 build that turned into Mac OS X 10.0. If that's the case, then hopefully a 10.0.1 update could do a lot to make things feel more responsive. Keep your fingers crossed, because Macworld indicates that Apple's first Mac OS X update is "imminent." Perhaps this is the legendary updater that Apple is rumored to have had ready last Saturday, but which didn't ship due to "marketing concerns."

Macworld claims that the 4MB update will be available sometime this week, probably via Software Update, iDisk, and plain ol' web download. Reportedly it patches "the Core Services directory," "SSH (secure shell) support," and AppleShare, in addition to adding a bunch of drivers and "Multimedia command sets." We've heard from a number of people that illicit copies of this patch are already making the rounds, and that it does indeed offer a noticeable performance boost. We're keeping our fingers crossed. Until then, we'll keep licking the screen, albeit slowly.

Okay, so Mac OS X 10.0 is a little poky on all but the very latest and greatest hardware. Yes, it's incompatible with a ton of existing peripherals, pending the development and release of new drivers. We admit it-- we can't yet sync our Palm OS devices on our Mac OS X system. And the list of native Mac OS X software may be growing, but it's still woefully short. All of this is true. But even with all those cards stacked against it, Apple's new operating system has one thing which overcomes all obstacles: star quality.

That's right, Mac OS X looks fantastic, and has an attitude to match. Which is why, we suppose, ordinary nonfabulous people like us spend our evenings at home in front of the TV, while Mac OS X is embarking on a whirlwind life of glamour as a fledgling movie star. Mac OS X is already headed for the big screen, and we don't mean an Apple Cinema Display.

Eagle-eyed faithful viewer Jeff Nouwen has already spotted what we believe to be the Aqua Kid's first cameo-- in the trailer for What's The Worst That Could Happen?, coming to a theater near you this June. Just under a minute into the trailer, you can catch a quick glimpse of a Mac OS X screen with: the default Desktop picture; a Dock containing the Finder, the Trash, a folder, Mail, and what appears to be a Genie-ized web page; and a single window indicating a real estate transfer complete with Aqua window controls, buttons, and progress bars.

Sure, it's just a Martin Lawrence vehicle, but everybody's got to start somewhere; besides, Danny DeVito is in it, too, so that bodes pretty well. Think of this as a gateway role. Inside of a year, we bet Mac OS X will be starring in any number of A-list blockbusters and small, artistically important independent flicks before finally developing a crippling heroin addiction following a nasty breakup with Christina Ricci and eventually emerging from rehab to retire from Hollywood to do Shakespeare on Broadway. Let's see Windows XP pull that off!

Still itching for a Mac-shopping retail experience that doesn't leave you feeling like you've been bludgeoned with a hefty length of pine? Fear not, because relief is on the way-- if you happen to live in the right area, that is. Add another name to the ever-lengthening list of lucky cities who will (probably) be getting an Apple retail store: Buffalo, New York has joined such previously-determined fortunate markets as Palo Alto, Chicago, Littleton, Pittsburgh, and the New York City area. At least, that's what MacNN is reporting, based on an article in the Buffalo News... but of course, Apple hasn't officially announced any such retail plans, so it can't be true, right?

Just kidding. Everyone knows that Apple's hush-hush initiative to open its own retail stores is the world's worst-kept secret since NASA faked the Apollo moon landings. What with the evidence trail of leases signed, construction underway, etc. there's little doubt that Apple is going to start representing its own gear at retail; the only questions remaining are how, when, and where-- and at least the "where" is really starting to flesh out a little. In addition to Buffalo, the article also indicates that Apple is looking to dig in at "the Carousel Center in Syracuse" and possibly also "Scottsdale, Ariz." But wait, there's more! We've heard from several shadowy sources that an Apple store in the Tampa area is a distinct possibility. We haven't heard anything about a Boston store yet, but we consider it a dead certainty; after all, how could Steve resist the prospect of luring the AtAT staff onto his turf and then unleashing his deadly engines of destruction? Or at least selling us a new Power Mac.

As for "when," well, originally we'd been hearing that Apple's flagship Palo Alto location would open next month, but that's looking pretty unlikely right now. The Buffalo News hints that "the first-ever Apple stores will see their debut in the next six months." If we had to guess (go on, twist our arm... ow!), we'd put our money on the first stores opening their doors on the day of Steve's Macworld Expo keynote this July. We figure that if Apple is going to unveil new Macs preloaded with its shiny new operating system, what better time to introduce a new way to buy them, too?