Well, most likely, this is it: our final episode before the Really Big Show tomorrow. In twenty-four hours' time we'll be filing into the Javits Center, trying desperately to achieve that Zen state of mind which is so receptive to the Truth-- "desperately," of course, being precisely the way not to be Zen, so the odds are we'll be failing quite miserably, but what the heck, it's worth a shot. In any case, we knew this would be our last chance to put in our two cents about what Steve might and might not announce tomorrow, so we took the liberty of consulting an authority on the subject last night-- namely, a Times Square fortune teller. Yes, folks, we passed up the chance to get a seven-minute caricature or to have our names painted in letters made out of flowers; instead, for a mere ten bucks, we got guaranteed 100% accurate keynote hardware news from a certified psychic. Who says Manhattan is expensive?

So here's what Madame Zola had to say: yes, there will be new iMacs, but no, they won't have LCD displays. Instead, they'll use the same old "Kihei" chassis in Indigo, Graphite, and Snow. (Yes, Snow is back.) Count on a low-end $799 model with a CD-ROM; pay a bit more and opt for CD-RW (no combo drive) models ranging from 500-700 MHz in speed-- and of course there'll be more RAM and bigger hard disks. As for the Power Macs, we've been told to expect speeds from 733-867 MHz (with a dual-800 in there for good measure) in the same exact enclosure, but with a lighter color scheme. Don't expect any changes under the hood other than the processor speeds; the bus and RAM are still going to be 133 MHz, though all but the lowest-price Power Macs will come equipped with a Superdrive.

Now, if Steve and his merry band of pranksters have even managed to fool the Manhattan fortune-telling community with disinformation, we'll be very impressed; that said, however, scads of viewers are writing in to point out the disquieting fact that shortly after posting a comprehensive Stevenote rumor round-up (predicting such heretical announcements as a DDR SDRAM Power Mac in an entirely new enclosure and "complex new iMac enclosure color schemes"), Mac OS Rumors went off the air. Coincidence, or an Apple campaign to suppress the truth? Madame Zola insists it's the former, but we may never know the real story.

Before you go putting all your faith in Madame Zola's predictions, however, we should note two important facts. The first is that she smelled like a brewery and was the only fortune teller we've ever seen wearing a Yankees t-shirt. The second is that faithful viewer Brian Pennington filled us in on an update over at Think Secret which makes note of Apple's unusually stringent security measures leading up to this keynote: "the company that normally does all of the translation of Apple press releases, etc., for Macworld and other Apple events has explicitly been excluded from Macworld New York," and Apple's doing all of its translation itself. Sounds like an extraordinary measure if all we're getting tomorrow is barely-updated iMacs and Power Macs in the same old case, doesn't it? Reportedly "the last time anything like this happened, it was the initial release of the iMac." So maybe we should be expecting something really big and completely off Madame Zola's radar-- or maybe even really small. (Don't worry, we won't explicitly invoke the eight-letter "H" word.) Hmmm... suppose Madame Zola will give us our money back if she missed something really important?

Meanwhile, those of you who aren't blessed with the geographical and/or financial wherewithal to catch the Stevenote in person (or you just don't think you can drag your lazy butt out of bed that early to get in line), don't fret-- there are plenty of options whereby you can get your RDF fix remotely. The most obvious one is to fire up a browser tomorrow morning and aim it at Apple's own streaming QuickTime webcast; if you're lucky enough to grab a stream while thousands of other madly clicking Mac fans are fighting you for bandwidth, you'll be treated to the Miracle of Steve-- a teensy, blurry, low-frame-rate Steve, but Steve nonetheless-- right on the screen of your very own Mac. What could be cozier?

Answer: watching Steve on your big-screen TV while curled up on the couch. If you've got a satellite dish, this beautiful dream can become a reality; all you need are the satellite coordinates for the broadcast, courtesy of MacNN. Those of you without a dish but with a compatible cable TV service might also be interested to know that TechTV has announced that it's going to broadcast the keynote live to your living room as well. Either method, we suspect, is a bit easier than actually lugging your couch into the convention center-- and cheaper, too, considering the staggering amount of cash you'd probably have to bribe the guards to let you bring in your own furniture in the first place.

For those of you twisted health freaks who actually like to get off the couch every once in a while, unless you're actually going in to see the real thing, we figure you've got three options. The first is to try to sign up to visit one of Apple's official satellite downlink locations at various Apple centers scattered across this great land; we haven't a clue if it's too late for that, though. Another is to try to find a local reseller that's hosting a keynote satellite event you can attend. The only one we know of offhand was sent to us by faithful viewer John Gettler, who notes that Twin Cities denizens can catch the keynote live at Murphy Hall at the University of Minnesota, courtesy of FirstTech. It's in room 130 at 206 Church Street SE, the keynote starts at 8 AM CDT, and you don't even need a reservation-- just show up and cram in.

The last option only applies to those of you fortunate enough to live near one of the only two currently open Apple retail stores. About a week ago we predicted that Apple would take advantage of those nifty giant screens in its stores' "Theater" sections to broadcast the show live to excited storegoers. Of course, that was before we realized that the keynote is starting at 6 AM Glendale local time-- but evidently Apple doesn't care. Faithful viewer Myke Olson informs us that both retail stores-- yes, even Glendale-- are indeed scheduled to show the keynote live. So if you're not averse to visiting a mall at a ridiculously early hour to hang out with a bunch of similarly obsessed Mac nuts and watch Steve do his little song and dance, more power to you; heck, if you're a working stiff, thanks to the time difference, you'll probably even make it to the office on time. So happy keynoting, everybody!

Finally, a little non-Expo-related subject matter to cleanse the palate, so to speak: remember how we, your friendly neighborhood AtAT staff, were subjected to the lurking psychological horrors of severe AirPort withdrawal last May? Suddenly we woke up one fateful morning to discover our AirPort Base Station wasn't responding, and when we went to take a look at it, it was constantly resetting itself in a most upsetting manner-- particularly upsetting, we might add, because that lovely lump of misbehaving silver plastic was just out of warranty. D'oh!

Well, luckily we discovered that the AppleCare coverage we bought for our iBook includes "associated peripherals" like the AirPort Base Station, so we were able to get our defective unit switched out for no cost in just a couple of days. However, we discovered that a lot (and we mean a lot) of people were experiencing similar problems; evidently a capacitor or two in many Base Stations just decide to fry after about a year's worth of use. People who owned an affected unit that was out of warranty or not covered by AppleCare suddenly found themselves in possession of a funky $299 silver blinking paperweight. Despite the fact that the problem appeared to stem from a design flaw, Apple refused to fix out-of-warranty Base Stations... well, unless people complained really loudly.

Good news, though; that policy appears to have changed. Now, according to MacNN, instead of screaming yourself hoarse, you can have an infinitely-resetting Base Station replaced simply by calling (800) APL-CARE and describing your symptoms. And if you own a Base Station with a serial number ranging from "PW940XXXXXXX to PW952XXXXXXX" and so far it's still working fine, just wait-- based on what we're hearing, it's just a matter of time. So keep that number handy, kids, and when your unit fails, you're be back up and surfing wirelessly in no time.

Incidentally, we happen to AirPortless now, as well, seeing as we're currently producing the show roughly 250 miles outside of our Base Station's advertised 150-foot range. Unsurprisingly, we can't seem to get a signal. However, being in New York, we're conveniently located less than three blocks from the local methadone clinic, and that's making the necessity of being tethered to the wall with a phone cord a whole lot easier to bear. (Trust us, it's much easier to type when you're not shaking uncontrollably and trying to get invisible bugs off your skin.)