Good News: Steve By Proxy (7/10/01)
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Eight days to go, and the natives are getting restless; the hour rapidly draws nigh when His Royal Steveness will mount the stage to preach to the assembled faithful via one of his trademark keynote addresses. We here at AtAT, in particular, are starting to get antsy-- not only because we know from past experience how much fun these events are, but also because this is the first year that we're actually getting in as "press." What that means is that we may be physically closer to Steve than ever before. Here's hoping our human physiologies are tough enough for a stronger-than-usual dose of Reality Distortion Field energy, since, as we all know, its intensity varies exponentially as a function of proximity to its source. (We're considering wearing sunscreen, just in case. And possibly welder's masks.)

For those of you not fortunate enough to be attending the festivities live and in person, fear not; as usual, Apple's got you covered. With an Internet connection and working installation of QuickTime, you can at least experience the Magic of Steve via the modern miracle of webcasting. Sure, everything will be small and smeary, and you'll be competing with thousands of Mac fans to grab and hold a stream, but you'll be in significantly less danger from RDF overdose, and it's better than nothing. Well, unless you can't grab a stream at all, in which case it's just as good as nothing. But heck, at least it isn't worse than nothing. Whatever. In any case, bookmark Apple's webcast page and start praying to the Streaming Gods now so that you'll be all ready come 9 AM EDT next Wednesday morning.

On the other hand, if you're not lucky enough to be at the show but you are lucky enough to own a satellite dish, you can partake in the joy via the slightly-less-modern miracle of satellite broadcasting. MacNN has the coordinates if you want 'em. And while nothing's actually been announced officially, we'd be really surprised if Apple misses its chance to take advantage of those great, big screens in the theaters of its existing retail stores to show the keynote live to interested customers. If you live near the Glendale or McLean locations and you don't need to be elsewhere on a Wednesday morning (slacker!), it might be a good bet to go hang out at the mall. Who knows? Maybe they'll even have new iMacs and Power Macs on hand to wheel out during the keynote. Stranger things have happened. Now where'd we put those radiation suits?


 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 7/10/01 episode:

July 10, 2001: Some enterprising spy has apparently managed to secure photographs of Apple's upcoming Power Mac systems. Meanwhile, Apple buys yet another company (but this one makes DVD authoring products solely for Windows), and it's official: the keynote will be webcast, as usual...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3166: Secret Agent Super Dragon (7/10/01)   Ooooh, there's nothing like a little espionage to brighten up the week! Turn off your shoe phones and activate the Cone of Silence, because top secret spy photos of next week's new Power Macs have leaked out onto the 'net; faithful viewer and field operative Seth H. Nielsen sent us a coded message pointing to MacOSX.org where the juicy nuggets of forbidden info are currently safehoused...

  • 3167: Going Windows Shopping (7/10/01)   Does anyone remember when it was Microsoft's modus operandi to buy smaller companies at a rate implying that the corporation was burning them for fuel? These days, though, we're noticing that Uncle Steve has been on a virtual spending spree, smaller-company-wise...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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