Well, we haven't seen any cold, hard numbers yet, but qualitatively speaking, we're going to have to assume that any anxiety about the Windows XP launch possibly derailing Apple's Mac OS X migration was totally groundless. Granted, we're not exactly the target audience for the XP hype machine (seeing as we're about as likely to use XP as we are to try flossing with a length of razor wire dipped in Tabasco sauce), but as far as we can tell, the main difference in the world now that the product has officially been released is that we spend way too much time watching people fly around on TV to the strains of an overplayed Madonna tune. Reports abound of resellers with massive inventories of Windows XP that are moving slower than a three-toed sloth with chronic fatigue syndrome. (Poor lil' fella.)

However, despite the fact that Windows XP evidently lets people fly while Mac OS X boasts no such ability to endow its users with superpowers, we certainly haven't heard of Mac users tossing their G4s out the window in a mad dash to switch over to what Billy Boy actually referred to as "the most important tool ever created." (Hey, Bill, ever heard of a "hammer"? C'mere, we'll show you what it's for.) Indeed, while it's something of a back-handed compliment, James Coates at the Chicago Tribune tells his readers that the launch of XP may herald "the time to pitch your Pentium" and "move to Mac OS X," because if your whole computing environment is just going to get thrown into pandemonium anyway, "why not go hog wild?" Okay, so it's not exactly a ringing endorsement; it's still kind of cool, though.

While Mr. Coates doesn't actually offer any specific reasons why users might want to run screaming from the latest operating system to crawl forth from the Redmond sludge, faithful viewer Matt Kuhns points out that The Register does. Be warned, however; while the article's scope is limited to "the irritations for ordinary users," there sure are an awful lot of them, considering the author only spent the weekend with the product. And the advent of Halloween notwithstanding, the graphic descriptions of frightening XPisms (the system's rejection of "unsigned" drivers, the inability to change network settings manually, and other restrictions referred to as its "'you're an idiot; let Daddy help' posture") may be too much for some people's delicate sensibilities. Viewer discretion is advised. (And even the hardiest readers may want to bail before the horrifying description of a Red Hat Linux 7.2 install, which is really scary.)

So Windows XP so far seems to have inspired a lot of yawns and a fair amount of vitriol, but probably not many sales. All the same, you might want to consider picking up a copy for yourself-- even if you don't even own a Wintel system on which to install it. See, faithful viewer The Amazing Llama finally found a real and compelling reason to buy the upgrade: free stuff. He reports that his local Staples was running a promotion whereby customers who purchase the Windows XP Home upgrade for $99 get a $150 digital camera and $30 worth of RAM for free after rebate; says he, "my copy of XP is going on eBay sometime tomorrow... the best part is that the camera is natively supported in OS X: I plug it in and it auto-downloads all of my fun pictures, and will make me a web page full of them." Now, how convenient is that?

We happened to notice that Staples.com has a similar offer whereby purchasers of the $99 XP Home upgrade qualify for a free Palm handheld, case, and software worth $175, so it appears that there's a lot of nice stuff available for free to people with enough cash flow and patience to play the Rebate Game. Indeed, given the number of copies of XP on eBay, it sounds like the Llama isn't the only person to notice this interesting little loophole; when last we checked, there were a whopping 389 copies up for bid. Kinda makes us wonder how many of those Windows XP upgrade kits are actually going to be used by the people who bought them. We're guessing... twelve?

Sigh... is it possible? Has all the magic gone out of the time-honored practice of calling attention to Mike Dell's psychotic obsession with copying Apple's every move? After all, faithful viewer Dave Burgis pointed out the man's latest "homage"-- a new computer called the "SmartStep"-- and frankly, we're having trouble working up any real enthusiasm. Okay, sure, the Associated Press reports that the SmartStep (Dell's only non-build-to-order computer) contains a low-end 1 GHz Celeron chip, 128 MB of RAM, a 20 GB hard drive, a modem, and the much-maligned 15-inch CRT monitor. Yes, it's true that those specs are at least slightly reminiscent of the entry-level iMac. Yes, the SmartStep's $599 price tag is targeted pretty squarely at the same market as Apple's lowest-cost consumer offering. But really... so what?

We admit, though, the way in which Dell is targeting those frugal consumers is a little more interesting; apparently ol' Mike is now delegating the copycat behavior, because in a Dell press release, it's Dell's veep of consumer sales John Hamlin who states that "for about the cost of two movie tickets and popcorn every month, customers can own a Dell SmartStep 100D. That's unprecedented." Well, maybe the offer is unprecedented, but the way in which it's phrased is not. Allow us to quote Steve Jobs from 1998: "For the price of three pizzas a month, you can own an iMac." No, the practice of comparing monthly loan payments on an entry-level consumer-oriented computer to the cost of entertainment and/or foodstuffs is not new. Still, even this evidence of Mike's deepening obsession leaves us somewhat cold.

How about faithful viewer Chris Lawson's discovery that Dell is now also "offering removable plates for its new Inspiron 4100 notebooks in 18 colors, patterns, and textures" (as reported by ZDNet News)? Again, it's just a crib of the "bookcovers" feature that Apple shipped way back in 1996 in the PowerBook 1400 (hmmm... 4100... 1400... subtlety's a lost art)-- so about the only thing noteworthy about this news is that Dell is copying an Apple move from before the Second Jobs Dynasty, but even that's happened before. On the other hand, we're pretty sure Apple holds a patent on the bookcovers feature, so maybe this will at least spawn a fun little lawsuit.

Eh, maybe we're just in a crummy mood; it happens every time it starts getting dark at 4:30 in the afternoon. Still, we perk up a little when we consider that Mike Dell's Apple-obsession is apparently spreading to other manufacturers. Faithful viewer Jeff directed us to a CNET article which reveals that beleaguered PC manufacturer Gateway is now hoping to distinguish itself from the rest of the Wintel herd by embracing "a very obvious focus on LCDs" in its desktop product line. Gee, where have we seen that before?

Thought the G4 was still waiting to punch through the 900 MHz barrier, right? Well, surprise-- there's actually a 1.2 GHz PowerPC available right now! Wake the kids, phone the neighbors... this isn't a drill, nor is it yet more hype from those wacky guys at Xtrem (whose web site appears to have died weeks ago; you don't suppose they disappeared without shipping that XtremMc, do you? As Goofy might exclaim, "Gawrsh!"). Nope, this time it's the real deal. Honestly. Sort of.

See, it's mostly true, apparently, except that this "1.2 GHz PowerPC" is actually an AMD Athlon processor. An article in Red Herring reports that Transitive Technologies has an emulator called "Dynamite" which is so good, the company claims it "can get a 1.4 GHz AMD Athlon computer to run Macintosh code at 1.2 GHz, much faster than the fastest 866 MHz PowerPC microprocessors." Now, correct us if we're wrong, but saying that software is running at 1.2 GHz is meaningless as a measure of speed; we assume, however, that Transitive means it's seeing performance equivalent to that of a 1.2 GHz G4, if such a beautiful thing actually existed.

The implication of the article is that x86 chips are getting so much faster than PowerPCs, they can actually emulate PPC code significantly faster than the PowerPC can execute it natively-- allowing for the arrival of "a 3+ GHz 'Synthetic' PowerPC inside of 18 months." Personally, we'll believe it when we see it. According to a press release, the company planned to present details of its "virtual 1+ GHz PowerPC solution" at the Microprocessor Forum 2001, which took place a couple of weeks ago; if this were on the level, we figure we might have, you know, actually heard something about that demo by now.

Of course, we were on hiatus back then, so we did a little digging and found a quick mention at The Register of Transitive's technology, so it looks pretty legit. But if it were really as good as the company claims, wouldn't Apple have bought them out by now? Then again, maybe that's why Xtrem disappeared so suddenly... any bets we'll be buying Apple-branded Macs shaped like microphones in six months' time?