Cheese and rice, not this again... Okay, so last weekend we were messing around with iDVD on one of the Quicksilvers at the new Apple retail store when we noticed that Apple still hadn't shipped the heavily-hyped iDVD 2. You remember the product; it was the "one more thing" at last July's Macworld Expo-- the one that left most Mac users dazedly wondering what alternate universe they'd all been sucked into that featured such anticlimactic Stevenotes. Well, anticlimactic or not, Apple had indicated that iDVD 2 was slated to ship in September once Mac OS X 10.1 was available; however, September came and went, and while the 10.1 upgrade arrived, iDVD 2 remained "shippingly challenged."

Yesterday, though, faithful viewer Dale Perkins sent us an irate note indicating that an iDVD 2 upgrade had finally surfaced at the Apple Store-- and that it cost $19.95. By way of calming him down, we read through the upgrade's description, and noted this little gem in particular: "the downloadable version of iDVD 2 does not include the themes or tutorial." From that snippet, we made a massive leap of logic and assumed that, well, there'd actually be a downloadable version of iDVD 2. (Go figure.) However, today Apple officially took the wraps off of iDVD 2, and we can't find any other reference to a downloadable version, either in the press release or anywhere within the revamped iDVD web pages. Indeed, the new "How To Upgrade" page refers only to an "iDVD 2 installer DVD," available for a $19.95 "shipping and handling charge."

Wow, where have we heard that before? We'll say one thing for Apple: at least the company is consistent. When was the last time a disc or two didn't cost them $19.95 to ship and handle? And can we send Apple $3.50 just to ship it, specifying that we'll handle it ourselves once it arrives? All we know for sure is this: we hope we don't have to sit through another spate of whining about Apple not providing a download option and charging twenty bucks for "shipping and handling," because we still haven't recovered from the 10.1 debacle yet.

To be fair, to the best of our knowledge, Apple never indicated that iDVD 2 would be a free upgrade; even in the July press release, iDVD 2 was described as a $19.95 "upgrade package for iDVD owners." And remember when iMovie 2 came out? That wasn't a free upgrade, either. Plus, given that the iDVD 2 upgrade is actually a DVD-ROM packed with "over a gigabyte of beautifully designed themes that make your DVDs look like the best commercial titles," it's probably worth pointing out that a download of the entire thing over a 56K dialup line would take about two solid days to complete. The bottom line, here, folks, is this: if you want iDVD 2, just grin and fork over the twenty bucks quietly. Please?

Oh, and Apple-- next time, consider selling this sort of thing as a $19.95 upgrade with "free shipping and handling." Somehow we suspect that'll go over better...

You probably thought that Apple's legal department has been getting a mite bored lately, huh? After all, we're long past the hustle and bustle of the iMac knockoff lawsuits, the billion-dollar Imatec suit crashed and burned over a year and a half ago, and even the threats of legal action against misappropriations of the Aqua look and feel have quieted down of late. Well, don't worry about Steve's elite corps of lawyers sitting around and twiddling their thumbs; it sounds to us like the vacation's over. They've probably got their hands full dealing with multiple class action suits alleging stock manipulation and misrepresentation.

"Say what now?" It's true, folks; faithful viewer Stephanie informs us that no fewer than three separate firms have now sued on behalf of Apple's shareholders. According to The Mac Observer, all three suits are basically the same in scope; Apple is accused of "issuing false and misleading statements concerning its business and financial condition" during the summer of last year, which made the company's prospects look shinier than they really were just before the stock price fell off a cliff. Specifically, the lawyers take issue with the introduction of the dual-processor Power Macs, the new non-fruit iMacs, and the Cube at last year's Macworld Expo New York. Apparently it was wrong of Steve to say that they featured "exceptionally attractive designs" and "new and revolutionary features." Uh-huh. The Cube, in particular, was a sinfully ugly example of yesterday's technology. What an obsolete eyesore. Lock him up!

The crux of the complaints, however, is the claim that Apple lied when it said that all these new products were "ready for mass production and would be available in quantity very shortly," when in fact they "had been late to market, had defects and lacked features which were essential for market success." (Let us guess: a floppy drive.) Anyway, to make a sad story short, Apple's getting sued by lawyers representing poor, misguided investors who were led astray by Apple's lies, bought shares of AAPL right after the Expo, and then took it in the shorts when the stock price imploded in September. Because as we all know, every other tech stock went up last year.

In any case, it sounds like we can buckle in for a healthy dose of drama as Apple defends itself against allegations that it deliberately inflated its stock price so that insiders could profit before the bubble burst. We're guessing the resolution is simply going to reveal that Apple got blindsided by a slowing economy (remember, Apple was pretty much the first to see the slowdown coming) and that no wrongdoing took place, but heck-- getting there is half the fun. Gentlemen, start your lawyers!

Here's a quickie that illustrates the classic attention to detail that Microsoft applies to all of its products, which accounts for the zillions of copies of Windows XP that the company has already sold following that operating system's glowing reviews. If you're a Hotmail user (oops-- we mean "MSN Hotmail"), then you may already know this first-hand, but faithful viewer Kevin McKaig informs us that the Redmond Giant recently "upgraded" its free email service and, in the process, rendered Hotmail completely incompatible with the Mac versions of its Outlook Express and Entourage email software. Oops.

MacUser has a few more details on the unintentional lockout, which reportedly arose following the installation of "additional security with [Microsoft's] Passport authentication system." Wow, that is secure. If the company can just prevent access by Windows users as well, they'll really be in front of the pack. With a little more work, perhaps Microsoft can offer the first email system that's so secure, nobody can access it. (We sense a big, fat government contract heading Bill's way.)

Anyway, a fix is allegedly in the works, and in the meantime, Mac users are encouraged to access their Hotmail accounts via the Web instead of through their actual email client software. The bit that has us giggling, however, is the email message that Microsoft sent out to some users who reported problems, which includes this doozy of a line: "Despite our best testing efforts, a recent Hotmail upgrade has resulted in an authentication error for customers using Hotmail through Macintosh Outlook Express."

"Best testing efforts?" They didn't even test the service with their own freakin' products! That's supposed to be the best they can do? Actually... that explains a lot. Never mind.