Grain of Salt (9/29/98)
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Okay, time out. We know that most of you know the drill, and there's a disclaimer right at the end of each day's episode, but we've got to remind you all: AtAT is an entertainment site, not a news site. As such, we frequently engage in bizarre conspiracy threories that have no shred of substance to them. Heck, that's pretty much our whole charm right there. If you're actually looking for real news, there are literally dozens of fine Mac news sites out there in Netland. If you're looking for a slightly twisted and melodramatic reaction to the news, you've come to the right place.

We are referring, of course, to the can of worms known as "Ninja Attack II" from yesterday's episode. We thought that the combination of an explicit disclaimer and an over-the-top writing style would be sufficient to alert all comers that our tongues are planted so deeply in our cheeks that they are, in fact, extending four inches through our faces. (Now that's a classy image, hmm?) Unfortunately, not everyone picked up on this, so we've got to set the record straight: Mac OS Rumors and Reality are, in fact, not down due to the malicious influence of an international consortium dedicated to the obfuscation of Macintosh information. There, we said it. They are, as each site plainly states, on hiatus for personal reasons only. Please do NOT email either site asking them if the conspiracy is true, because it obviously isn't. (And if it were, would they really tell you?) We feel really bad about the email that both sites have been receiving about this-- yes, they both complained to us, and rightly so-- because if they don't have time to update their sites, they certainly don't have time to mess with email generated by our "unfortunate" sense of humor. Please leave them alone so that they can attend to their personal business and get back to providing us all the juicy Apple rumors we need and crave.

Sadly, it appears that just one of the many risks of producing AtAT is the risk of being taken too seriously. Please don't suggest smileys as a remedy, since we'd have to use so many of them that AtAT's daily content would start to resemble an "Up With People" rally. Or, more accurately, a rally for "Up With People" at which, for some reason, everyone holds their head sideways and winks. Perhaps a future HTML spec can introduce the <SATIRE> tag?

That said, let's get back to business. Isn't it interesting that thessaSOURCE, a solid Mac news site for the past couple of years, suddenly closed up shop the other day? The posted reason was lack of time following a relocation to North Carolina. Literally dozens of you pointed out the timing coinciding with the Rumors and Reality sabbaticals. What if... Nah, forget it. ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)


 
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The above scene was taken from the 9/29/98 episode:

September 29, 1998: Apparently some people forgot the cardinal rule about not taking AtAT too seriously, thus producing some rather upset rumormongers out there. Meanwhile, the supercool iMac SCSI card may be in jeopardy, and a new and nasty virus pokes its infectious little head onto the scene...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 1044: Karma, Dogma, Whatever (9/29/98)   Several of you are no doubt aware of the theory that there's a sort of karmic balance in the universe-- that for every bad thing that happens, a good thing pops up somewhere else. While this concept is usually applied to individual action and behavior (as in, "someday you'll pay for that extra newspaper you took from the machine when an anvil falls on your head and makes you go all accordion-like"), we like to think it holds up just as well on a macrocosmic scale...

  • 1045: To Prevent Infection (9/29/98)   Hoo boy... Looks like the party's over. After enjoying a Golden Age of the Virus-Free Macintosh, viral activity has picked up in a big way. The first real outbreak consisted of those darn cross-platform Microsoft Word macro viruses, which are annoying but not particularly destructive...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(485 votes)

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