It's allegory time again, kiddies... Let's say that you're a subscriber to TV Guide. Now suppose that your subscription is just about to end, so TV Guide sends you an offer to resubscribe at a special low price. You like TV Guide, and you find it invaluable when planning your weekly television-watching activities, especially since the edition you receive includes all the programming for the eighty channels you get via WayTooMuch Cable. Since you'd like to continue receiving the schedules for all your favorite cable channels (not to mention all those great articles about which of the latest fashions are showing up on Ally McBeal), you write out your check, pop it in the envelope, and send it off. A couple of weeks later, the first issue of the new subscription arrives, but there's been a mistake; you've received the edition for the town just north of you, which uses VerriBig Cable instead, and therefore all the channel listings are wrong-- they've got the Surgery Network listed as channel 38, when for you it's actually 52. And since VerriBig doesn't get the Conspiracy Channel, you're deprived of the listings for your own personal favorite cable network. That in itself would be more than just a minor annoyance, but it gets worse: unfortunately, the whole issue is also entirely in Greek.

Puzzled, you call the TV Guide people and say that you were a subscriber to the WayTooMuch edition of the magazine-- specifically, the English version-- but you seem to be receiving the Greek VerriBig edition now instead. The operator then tells you that "there was no error," but that all previous subscribers of the English WayTooMuch version are being sent the Greek VerriBig edition instead; since WayTooMuch Cable covers such a small area, that edition has been canceled due to "lack of demand." When you complain that you don't have VerriBig Cable and-- more importantly-- you don't understand Greek, you are told by the operator that they "weren't responsible for this action."

Sound unlikely? Well, sure it is, but allegedly something darn similar just happened with Microsoft Bookshelf. According to a MacInTouch reader, Microsoft sent out special offers for Bookshelf subscribers to upgrade to Encarta for a special low price. Unfortunately, all Mac users were sent the Windows version of Encarta 99-- on purpose. Instead of notifying Mac users that no Mac version would be available and they should keep their money, Microsoft purposely sold them a version they can't use, then claimed they weren't responsible for the action. What are they hoping? That now that some poor Mac user has shelled out a few bucks for some Windows-only software, they'll shrug their shoulders, ditch the Mac, and go buy a Wintel PC? OR maybe they're hoping that said Mac user will go buy Virtual PC; remember, since it includes a Windows license, Microsoft still makes money with each Virtual PC sale. Hmmm... Really slimy? Truly ingenious? Both? You be the judge. Now excuse us, but we're off to mark the week's "must-see TV" with a yellow highlighter.