So just what is it about the iMac that seems to have struck a chord with consumers? When we sat down with our own to answer that question, we figured a lot of its appeal had to do with with its space-age, non-traditional look. There's also its breakthrough speed, its low price, its astonishing ease of use, and its sheer inviting quality that just says "Hey-- c'mon, let's play." Imagine our surprise, then, to discover that none of these factors contributed even slightly to the iMac's overwhelming success. At least, according to the Onion.

Apparently, most iMac buyers are attracted equally by the system's three keyboards and the way that it "produces pitch-perfect tones with filled halfway with water and rubbed with a moist finger." (Something to try when you're tired of playing Myth, perhaps.) Among other contributing factors were its physical bounciness, spiritual alignment with Gandhi, Picasso, and Einstein, and its reportedly uncanny resemblance to the Coors Party Ball. It just goes to show that market research data sometimes reveals some real surprises. The factors of market success are strange and complex, indeed.

We're grateful to the Onion for pointing all this out to us, because if we hadn't seen their data, we would never have known that our iMac is missing some standard features (and no, we're not whining about a floppy drive). Apparently we were short-changed a couple of keyboards, and we can't figure out where the snooze button is-- even the Apple Tech Info Library has no info on it. But aside from that, we're thrilled with our purchase-- especially now that we know it's bathtub-safe. We imagine there's nothing more relaxing than playing 3D Klondike while soaking in a nice hot bath. (Note: it's a joke. No, the iMac isn't bathtub-safe. Don't haul your iMac into the tub or you'll likely both wind up fried. Just a clarification for the irony-impaired, as recommended by our legion of swarthy lawyers.)