Settle Down Already (4/1/99)
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Leave it to good ol' Judge Jackson to throw everyone a curve. "Redmond Justice" is on extended hiatus for at least another five weeks or so, but even during this downtime he's managed to shake things up a little. According to an Inter@ctive Week Online article, Jackson has broken from tradition in a move that basically tells Microsoft and the government, "settle or else." When he met with both sides earlier this week and set the timetable for the remainder of the case, he did something unorthodox. In non-jury cases, once the testimony is over, the judge who must rule asks the lawyers from both sides to hand over a written summary of what they see to be the facts in the case, and what laws should apply to those facts. Usually the judge then addresses those written submissions when he or she makes a decision. Jackson, on the other hand, has changed the rules; he plans to rule on the facts in the case first, and then ask both sides what they think the law should do about them.

Interesting! Dramatic! A sure ratings-booster! Once Jackson rules on the facts in the case, there will be little doubt in anyone's mind about which side's going to win. In essence, he's giving both sides time to settle their differences, because the final ruling won't be made until several weeks after he rules on the facts. So if, for example, Microsoft hears the facts as determined by Jackson and sees the Big Anti-trust Steamroller of Doom™ barreling down on them, they'll be much more likely to come to a settlement agreement with the government. After all, it sure beats losing the case. And if both sides choose to remain stubborn to the end, then we've all got ourselves a kickin' courtroom drama that may actually last well into next year, according to the New York Times. Kudos to Jackson for injecting a little more intrigue into what is already a fascinating case-- we're talking miniseries event material, here. Or at least movie-of-the-week.

Incidentally, the Inter@ctive Week Online article is also noteworthy for including a courtroom sketch of Judge Jackson, whose exploits we've been following for well over a year and a half but whose face we've never actually seen before. If the sketch is any indication, apparently Jackson doesn't just act like His Royal Grumpiness Judge Wapner (now appearing on Animal Planet's Animal Court, with longtime sidekick Rusty the bailiff!)-- he kind of looks like him, too. Separated at birth, perhaps?

 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 4/1/99 episode:

April 1, 1999: How foolish were you this first day of April? Meanwhile, Apple prepares to jettison the LaserWriter 8500, its last link to the golden days of Apple-branded peripherals, and Judge Jackson's latest strategy elicits a hushed gasp from "Redmond Justice" fans...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 1437: The April Fool's Spirit (4/1/99)   Another April Fool's Day has passed us by, and we hope everyone had a good one. Personally, we at AtAT tend to leave the Fool's tree up for another week or so, or at least until all the leftovers are gone...

  • 1438: HP Makes Some Nice Ones (4/1/99)   The other shoe finally dropped: Apple is reportedly out of the printer business. Remember back when you could buy Apple printers (inkjet and laser), Apple scanners, and Apple digital cameras? Sure, they cost a bit more than third-party offerings, and often weren't quite as nice, but some people really liked knowing that drivers for their Apple-branded peripherals would definitely be compatible with their Macs-- or, at least, if they weren't, they'd be able to raise a stink with the mothership...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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