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You Settled What, Now? (9/6/99)
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Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner in AtAT's "Most Baffling Press Release" contest. While we've searched far and wide for the press release that most efficiently made us go "huh?", the honor goes to none other than Apple, for the September 3rd release titled, "Apple Reaches Settlement of Shareholder Derivative Action." How about a big round of applause for Apple, folks? It's not easy to confuse so many people with so few words.
In addition to the standard closing blurb about how Apple "ignited the personal computer revolution" yadda yadda yadda, this press release contained only three brief sentences, announcing the fact that the company has reached a settlement in the "shareholder derivative action known as Kostick vs. Crisp." As part of the settlement, Apple board of directors "will take certain corporate governance actions involving amendments to the Company's by-laws and the Company's policy concerning trading in Company securities." Never have so few words revealed so little, but fear not-- for more details (you mean there's more?), Apple states that interested parties need look no further than the September 3rd issue of Investor's Business Daily. You could also call Apple's legal department. Uh-huh.
Then again, there's always the option of relying on MacCentral to clue us all in. Apparently this "Kostick vs. Crisp" action dates back to the Dark Days of 1996, when everything was crumbling to dust and a share of Apple stock was cheaper than a Los Del Rio "Macarena" CD. This action, filed by the shareholders, alleges that Apple's then-current board was trying to sell the whole company off to Sun Microsystems at fire-sale prices-- after "disregarding previous acquisition attempts" that would have brought the shareholders a lot more dough. Yup, the problem wasn't that the board was trying to sell Apple; it was that they hadn't sold it to someone who would pay more. Those days seem long past, now that AAPL is trading at an all-time high, which might explain why Apple's press release was so opaque. It all just seems like a bad dream these days, doesn't it?
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SceneLink (1762)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 9/6/99 episode: September 6, 1999: Chalk up another intellectual property lawsuit for Apple-- but this time they're playing defense. Meanwhile, Apple settles a long-forgotten shareholder class action, much to our collective befuddlement, and if Mac cloning was Steve Jobs' appetizer, the upgrade makers may be his main course...
Other scenes from that episode: 1761: Pot. Kettle. Black. (9/6/99) So here we are, back from our long weekend, all rested up and ready to rumble. And hopefully Apple's legal department clocked some serious rest and relaxation, because they've got a lot to tackle now that the holiday's behind them; in addition to their aggressive campaign to sue the pants off any PC manufacturers who dare to steal the iMac's design, now they've got to defend themselves from a "turnabout is fair play" sort of attack... 1763: Here We Go Again (9/6/99) (Important retraction: As faithful viewer Y. Anrew Naka points out, the Apple Insider article referenced later in this scene does not say that Sawtooth G4s are not upgradeable, as we originally stated at broadcast time...
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