Global Search & Replace (12/6/99)
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Wow, what a weird feeling of déjà vu! We just read BusinessWeek's review of the WebPC (kindly forwarded to us by faithful viewer Matthew Guerrieri). The WebPC, of course, is Dell's "cool" new consumer computer, and as we scan through this review, we inexplicably get the feeling we've read all this before. Give it a look-see and maybe you'll get the same crazy vibe.

Let's examine some of the choicer quotes, shall we? "This is not a computer for a power user or a dedicated game player" because "there are no slots for add-in cards." There's also "no floppy drive, although Dell offers an external LS-120 SuperDrive, a 120-megabyte drive that also read and writes 1.44 MB floppies, as a $130 option." Then there are the concerns about compatibility with older hardware: "users of 3Com Palms need a $40 adapter to connect a sync cradle to a USB port. Parallel printers need a $50 adapter cable." Clueing in yet?

Let's continue. "The WebPC went to sleep mode and woke up far more reliably than today's erratic PCs. It's also a snap to set up... hooked up to the Internet within five minutes of coming out of the box." (Was that with or without the help of a border collie named Brodie?) "It includes both a 56K modem and Ethernet port, for high-speed Internet connections." Now that's an innovation. "One negative is the compact keyboard... Buyers can replace the keyboard for $50 or less, but they will lose... the matching design." And then the author goes on to describe Dell's "online-only" tech support model. We think you get the point.

Yes, Michael Dell is still trying to be like Steve, and the WebPC is Dell's answer to the iMac-- sixteen months after the iMac first shipped. Try this: copy the whole BusinessWeek review of the WebPC, paste it into your favorite word processor, and replace every instance of the word "Dell" with "Apple" and "WebPC" with "iMac." Disregard the first paragraph and it's startling how closely the result gets to being one of the zillion iMac reviews written over a year ago. (We'd post the results, but our excessive excerpting is probably already bordering on copyright infringement. Trust us and try it-- it's fun.) We suppose this means that Mike isn't just "Steve Lite"-- he's "Steve Lite" and a year late.


 
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The above scene was taken from the 12/6/99 episode:

December 6, 1999: "Redmond Justice" not enough for you? Then brace yourself as "Cupertino Justice" heads to Japan. Meanwhile, Future Power's entire staff takes the word "clueless" to new and interesting heights, and all you need are BusinessWeek's review of the WebPC and an application that does global search and replace, and you, too, can enjoy a stroll down Memory Lane...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 1954: More Antitrust Action (12/6/99)   "Redmond Justice" may be a fun-filled ride of thrills and chills, but if it's just not enough entertainment to slake your thirst for antitrust drama, fear not: there's a spin-off on the horizon. Lackeys working closely with the creative team report that the working title is "Cupertino Justice," though the action will probably take place primarily in distant, exotic lands in hopes of boosting ratings...

  • 1955: Asleep At The Server (12/6/99)   It's like seeing a bridge collapse and then sticking around to watch the authorities haul off the debris; we just can't stop checking the Future Power web site to see how long it takes them to fix the hack...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1233 votes)

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