Berst Your Bubble (12/29/99)
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For those of you still nervously awaiting the end of the world after former Mac-basher Hiawatha Bray recently crossed over into Apple-friendly territory, don't worry; there are still plenty of anti-Apple pundits around. Take Jesse Berst, for example. Sure, it was sketchy there for a second-- he published a column voicing his utter frustration at the constant crashes and inconsistencies of Windows, and even said he was considering switching to an iMac. Heck, Apple even sent him an iMac DV Special Edition. They sent one to Bray, too, who gushed about it in a completely positive review; Berst, on the other hand, evidently wasn't impressed. While he hasn't published a review himself, he's just named Steve Jobs one of the four people "to leave behind" in the coming decade.

We're thankful to faithful viewer T. Greiner for bringing Berst's latest article to our attention, in which ol' Jesse has the following to say about Uncle Steve: "Did he turn Apple around? Yes. Did they change the look of computers? Yes. Will they ever be more than a fringe player? No." Because of this, Jesse claims that Steve is "a has-been... stuck in the past... hanging on to past success... unwilling or unable to change with the times... [and] heading for the 'where are they now' file." Evidently to Jesse, if you only have 10% market share right now, you can't possibly be innovative and influential over the course of the next ten years. All those low-cost, "easy-to-use," Internet-focused PCs coming out next year with only USB ports and no expansion slots? Those certainly have nothing to do with Steve's baby, the iMac.

Wow. Really, what else is there to say? Wow. The very idea that anyone could think Steve Jobs and Apple "don't matter" in the field of computer hardware, right after the arrival of the improved iMac, the iBook, the G4, and AirPort-- well, it boggles the mind. Then again, Berst also lists Bill Gates and Microsoft as not mattering in the operating system category. While we'd love to believe that, with Windows 2000 right around the corner, whether it sucks or not is irrelevant: with a Windows installed base as large as it is, Windows 2000 is going to matter, one way or the other, for years to come. And what about "Redmond Justice"? The settlement or verdict is bound to set precedents that will long echo throughout the industry. Hmmm. Perhaps Jesse got hold of some bad fruitcake or something...

 
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The above scene was taken from the 12/29/99 episode:

December 29, 1999: The saga of the Arabian Dos Attack continues, but what's really going on behind the scenes? Meanwhile, Jesse Berst remains in Grinch mode when it comes to Apple, and Microsoft left millions of Hotmail customers high and dry after forgetting to write a $35 check...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2002: Suspicious Minds (12/29/99)   Say what you will about a potential Middle Eastern cyberterrorist plot to induce massive service outages on the Internet by coercing Macs all over the world to flood the 'net with noise on New Year's Eve-- at least it's given the Mac news sites something to write about other than the special reduced-price offer on PowerMenuWindowsPlayer 2.02 (now extended through January!)...

  • 2004: Deadbeat Domain Name (12/29/99)   This isn't exactly Apple-related, but it gave us a chuckle, so bear with. We assume you know what Hotmail is-- the largest free web-based email service, with over fifty million users. You may also know that a couple of years ago, Microsoft bought it, putting it under the MSN name...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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