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Ah, Just Go G5 Instead (2/8/00)
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Never mind that 17" Graphite iMac that all the rumormongers are playing up; it didn't show at the Expo, and frankly we're a little tired of waiting for it. Luckily for our gnatlike attention spans, there's a new iMac rumor in town, and it's looking further into the future. MacUser is claiming that Apple's planning yet another drastic redesign of its funky little space eggs sometime this summer-- a complete overhaul as thorough as the "Kihei" slotless revolution last fall. (You say summer's too soon for another total retooling? You say that Apple started working on Kihei right after the original Bondi Blue iMac shipped, so another new iMac design probably wouldn't realistically surface before 2001? Cut it out, you're stepping on our buzz.)
Remember when Apple persuaded IBM to start building Motorola-designed, AltiVec-enhanced G4 chips when the G4 shortage was at its peak? Well, apparently MacUser's sources are claiming that most of those IBM-fabricated G4 chips aren't destined for Power Macs after all; they're going into new G4-based iMacs instead. Yes, you heard right-- rumor has it that the iMac is getting upgraded to G4 status this summer. Take that how you will; we choose to swallow it with a couple of metric tons of sodium chloride.
That said, a processor swap, even a jump from G3 to G4, isn't a dramatic design change. But MacUser also claims that "the new iMac will also feature a redesigned case," omitting any details other than the possibility of-- you guessed it!-- a seventeen-inch screen. Still skeptical of these "sources"? You won't be after you hear this: those selfsame sources also claim that "every machine" in Apple's product line will receive "either a speed bump or a complete redesign" this year. Amazing! Despite the fact that Apple has at least speed-bumped the iMac every few months since its debut and managed a complete revamp of all four product lines last year, we just assumed that Apple was going to let its products languish without so much as a clock speed increase this year. Excuse us while we scrape our jaws up off the floor...
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SceneLink (2084)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 2/8/00 episode: February 8, 2000: Want to become an Authorized Service Provider to make full use of your Apple-certified technician status? We hope you've got good credit... Meanwhile, rumors swirl about a new G4 iMac due this summer, and a Mardi Gras parade honors Apple as the pinnacle of '80s technology...
Other scenes from that episode: 2083: "Come Back At Three..." (2/8/00) Ask and ye shall receive. After getting all hot and bothered over the prospect of becoming bona fide Apple-certified technicians via the new $299 AppleCare Technician Training, our hopes and dreams crumbled to dust upon being informed that we still wouldn't be able to order service parts or perform warranty repairs without being employed by an Authorized Service Provider... 2085: Hooray! (We Think.) (2/8/00) This week's "Dubious Distinction Award" goes to Apple Computer, for being "honored" as the "symbol of 1980s technology" in this year's Mobile Mystics Parade. If you trundle 'round to the Incredible Hulk-themed web site of the Mobile Mystics Mardi Gras Association, you'll note that their annual parade is slated to begin at 2PM on Saturday, February 26th-- and at that time, according to The Mac Observer, an "Eighties Tech float" featuring a giant Apple computer will make its way down the parade route...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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