Love That Miracle Cure (2/23/00)
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You know those ads for weight-loss products, acne medication, or wrinkle cream that show "before" and "after" photos of someone who's supposedly benefited from using the product? In particular, we're thinking about the ads for the really "questionable" products, like, say, a bracelet that is claimed to reduce fat throughout the body via healing magnetic waves, or whatever-- you know the ones we mean. In some of the more blatantly false ads in that genre, the "before" and "after" pictures seem to be two entirely different people... unless, of course, those healing magnetic waves not only stripped two hundred pounds from the subject's frame, but also magically bleached her hair, gave her a rich, golden tan, and made her three inches taller.

Forgive us, we're rambling again. The point (and there is a point, we promise) is that if you take a snapshot of Apple today and compare it to a picture of Apple from three years ago, you're going to swear you're looking at two different companies. And we're not even talking about the obvious things, like the financial solvency, the energized product line, and the tone of the media coverage. At a deeper lever, one of the fundamental differences we see is that the Apple of today seems almost unable to launch a strategy and have it fail.

For example, take that Internet strategy announced less than two months ago; the addition of iTools, iCards, and iReview to Apple's web site has drawn record-breaking traffic. As The Mac Observer notes, PC Data's numbers show Apple's web site as the most-trafficked site among those run by computer hardware companies. Apple's 961,000 unique visitors last week put it well ahead of the runner-up, Egghead.com's 793,000. Apple.com logged over three times as many unique visitors as the ninth-place site, Outpost.com; it's estimated that one out of every fifty-five people on the Internet visited Apple's site last week. For an online strategy, that's a far cry from the virtual Hindenburg known as "eWorld."

So the miracle balm Apple's been using for the past few years really seems to be doing the trick. (Can we get Steve Jobs in a handy, easy-to-apply ointment?) Sure, there have been a few less-than-spectacular successes; that "three pizzas" consumer loan wasn't the smash success it could have been, and even iReview's looking a bit tired, what with only those same eleven computer sites reviewed since it went live... but so far, we haven't seen anything quite as disastrous as Copland or OpenDoc. Thumbs up to Steve, and "before" and "after" pics we can really believe.

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 2/23/00 episode:

February 23, 2000: Apple's winning streak continues, as Apple.com takes first place in PC Data's web traffic listings. Meanwhile, Gateway pulls an Apple and goes for the "store within a store" concept in OfficeMax locations nationwide, and the first Windows 2000 virus has been spotted, less than a week after the operating system's debut...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2114: Follow The Leader (2/23/00)   Everyone with a pulse and at least one moderately-functional eyeball knows just how badly Dell wants to be Apple, right? Sure, it's only natural for others in the industry to steal a few pages from Apple's book; heck, it's basically tradition at this point...

  • 2115: Advanced New Infections (2/23/00)   We admit, it took a little longer than we expected, but less than a week after Windows 2000 made its official debut, the first Win2K-specific virus has been identified. According to PC World, the little critter's named "W2K.Infis.4608" (awww, ain't that cute?), and while it has yet to be spotted "in the wild," it may herald lots of viral fun to come for hapless Windows 2000 users...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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