Just Watchin' The Game (3/13/00)
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The trouble in paradise continues; while Intel and AMD duke it out in 1 GHz territory, Apple's high-end offerings are looking positively anemic from a clock speed perspective, having climbed only halfway towards the Golden Gigahertz. But Apple doesn't make the chips-- that's up to Motorola. When Motorola was unable to ship 500 MHz G4 chips last year, Apple was forced to downgrade its whole Power Mac line; the unexpected earnings warning, the resulting Apple stock plunge, and the public outcry over the "speed dump" mark a serious stumble in Apple's otherwise glorious rebirth. So Apple turned to IBM and said, "Hey, now that you've licensed Altivec from Motorola, how about cranking out some G4s for us?" IBM agreed, and now we're finally hovering at 500 MHz. Listen... Hear that? That's the deafening silence of the Wintel world who's too ga-ga over 1 GHz chips even to utter a "Big whoop."

Now, rumor has it that IBM's been able to crank the G4 as high as 650 MHz, but Motorola has prevented the company from releasing them by pulling contractual strings in the Altivec license. Granted, 650 MHz still isn't much in the "wow" department next to the Big Gig, but it's a significant improvement, and Apple should be more than a little irked at Motorola not only for failing to reach decent clock speeds itself, but also for stifling IBM-- and, by extension, Apple itself-- for the sake of saving face. Just think of all those power users who could benefit from an extra 150 MHz of supercomputer speed. Remember, it's not just media creation types using Macs; there are also researchers, doctors, scientists-- why, by putting the reins on IBM we bet Motorola's delaying the cure for cancer. Or at least the next installment in the Budweiser "Wazzup!" commercials.

Well, as you know, Apple's not one to stand idly by while diseases go uncured and beer goes unhyped, so the company has sprung into action. According to Mac OS Rumors, the big guns are firing; everybody's favorite potentate, Uncle Steve himself, has gone in to break some heads. Oh, sure, "the many reports on this subject continue to contradict one another on numerous details," but that's the stuff of which legends are made. Fear not; there's no doubt in our minds that Steve's gone in to Motorola headquarters with RDF a-blazin'. And with luck, we'll start seeing Power Mac G4/650s shipping sometime before Intel unveils that 1.4 GHz Willamette...

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 3/13/00 episode:

March 13, 2000: This time it's personal; Steve Jobs leaps into the fray in an attempt to break the Motorola/IBM G4 gridlock. Meanwhile, Apple product managers hint at future mobile phone integration, and the iBook's diabolical origins come to light...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2151: Note To Larry: Call Us (3/13/00)   Everybody knows that when you want to find out what the future holds for Apple product development, you don't ask a Magic 8-Ball; you ask Larry Ellison. But if Loose-Lips Larry isn't answering his phone (the guy must've finally gotten Caller ID), sometimes a bevy of random Apple product managers will do just as well...

  • 2152: The Devil You Say! (3/13/00)   Glory be, John Dvorak was right! While he never said so in so many words (well, okay, make that "so few words"), it was clear that he felt that any high-tech contraption so gosh-darned girly could only be the work of the devil himself...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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