Okay, this is just too weird to pass up... By now you're all aware that Steve Jobs has bailed on his commitment to deliver the keynote address at the Spring Internet World conference in a couple of weeks. What you probably don't know is why Steve is ducking out. After all, he pretty much let the entire Apple Expo 2000 London show collapse in order to give the Internet World keynote instead, and he's been vocal in the past about his desire to attend more Internet-centric conferences. So why the sudden change of heart, which has left conference planners a mere two weeks to find a replacement? Well, as always, take this with a big grain of salt-- but Mac the Knife claims that Uncle Steve bowed out not because of family commitments, not because of an important corporate event, but because of ceiling height.

Yes, ceiling height. Reportedly, Jobs feels that the ceiling at the LA Convention Center (where the keynote is to be delivered) is just too darn low. Too low for what, you ask? Search us. Maybe Steve's unaware that a giant ego doesn't literally translate into a head the size of a Winnebago. Or perhaps it's got something to do with his fabled Reality Distortion Field-- his mild-altering rays affect large audiences by radiating out the top of his head at an angle and bouncing off the ceiling onto the adoring crowd, so he needs plenty of headroom to reach the poor slobs in the cheap seats. Or perhaps there was a childhood trauma involving a trampoline and a low ceiling. Who knows? In any event, despite the fact that the Internet World web page still lists Jobs as a speaker, it's clear now that he won't be taking the low-ceilinged stage.

Incidentally, MacWEEK reports that Internet World has found a replacement speaker for Steve Jobs: AOL's Steve Case will be delivering the keynote instead. Here's hoping that the show planners have fully disclosed the convention center's ceiling height to Mr. Case ahead of time. It'd be tremendously unfortunate if there's some kind of unwritten "high-tech CEOs named Steve and low ceilings don't mix" rule in effect, and Case would have to back out at the last second.