No Fruit For Posner (4/1/00)
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Who says nothing ever happens on the weekend? Fire up those VCRs, because it looks like "Redmond Justice" just got a whole lot more interesting-- and all we can say is, if this is an April Fool's joke, we're not laughing. Faithful viewer Porsupah pointed us towards a brief Reuters story enticingly titled, "Microsoft Mediation Talks End in Failure." According to the article, Judge Richard Posner (the man tasked with mediating a settlement between the two sides) issued a statement on Saturday announcing that "the quest has proved fruitless" and that April 1st marked the "end of [his] efforts to mediate the Microsoft antitrust case." Apparently the differences between Redmond and Washington "were too deep-seated to be bridged" by talks in Chicago. Christmas has come early this year for drama fans!

And while we admit some skepticism, most of our doubts were quelled when faithful viewer Jerry O'Neil sent us the same info via a different source: the New York Times. This seems legit, folks; these past four months of settlement talks have amounted to little more than a waste of airfare, a staggering catering bill, and a needless hiatus that's left "Redmond Justice" fans starving for action. But all that's over, now. Judge Jackson originally planned to announce his verdict last Tuesday, but granted an extension to see if last-ditch negotiations would bring forth a settlement. No go. So we imagine Jackson's sharpening up his axe right about now.

If you like, you can even read Posner's complete statement announcing the death of the negotiations. And lest you fear that this is just Posner's idea of an April Fool's joke, rest easy; the Times has plenty of reactive commentary from Microsoft and the government, as well. In order for this to be some kind of elaborate prank, everyone on the "Redmond Justice" cast would have to be in on it. And look at the photo of Posner-- we ask you, does he seem to be the joking type? So buckle your seatbelts: it's going to be a bumpy week.


 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 4/1/00 episode:

April 1, 2000: Attention "Redmond Justice" fans: prepare for a verdict, as mediator Richard Posner declares the settlement talks dead and buried. Meanwhile, Apple Cinema Displays go back on sale at the Apple Store for just $3999 apiece, and a five-year-old's inherent wisdom gives us all hope for the future...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2195: Going To The Movies (4/1/00)   And the good news just keeps on coming: those of you with $4000 burning a hole in your pockets, clear off some space on that desk, because Apple's gargantuan Cinema Display is once again available for sale sans G4...

  • 2196: Hope For America's Youth (4/1/00)   What better way to spend a weekend than by enjoying an anecdote from America's heartland? Faithful viewer Barry Hamill, The Exiled King of the Cheeseheads, wrote in to keep us apprised of the latest adventures of Rose, the five-year-old Fabulous Babe mentioned throughout our recent special report on painting Macs...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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